Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 8:00 am
Post subject: Can't cope with another loss :(
Just need a vent really. Well I've just had a mc 'only' 4+3 and felt pretty ok considering, I think after losing one at 20 wks 2 mths ago I was more relieved it happened so soon this time than let it continue further & then lose it. But it's really sunk in now that I've lost another one & my grief over Isabella has just come back & hit me hard again. I'm starting to think it will never happen for me, it's just going to be heart break after heart break & don't know if I wanna try again. Why would I put myself thru this anymore? It's completely different to last time as all I could think about was getting pg again, as quick as possible! I think it's even harder as I should still be pg from before, 32 wks tomorrow, and just can remember how exciting that time was with my DS & loving my big bump...... but it's completely gone now.
How has everyone else managed to get thru it? xx
After a horrible few years, life is good.
Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:29 am
hun, I have also posted in ttc forum, but I wanted to post here too. I am so incredibly sorry that you have had two losses so close together - and my heart really goes out to you. We lost a babe at 36 weeks - a little boy - and then a year later I had a m/c, and then six months later another one. How do we cope? I dont know if Im honest. Its so hard, and each loss brings back the loss of Harry again. But for yourselves its all been so close together - I cant imagine how low you must feel. I dont think there is any simple way through it, except to live through the grief and pain, and just know in your heart that one day a brighter day will come. Something that I read after we lost Harry, is that "one day you will carry the pain and the pain will no longer carry you" and eventually (a long time later) I reached that point. But even as I write to you now, two years on, I have tears streaming down my face. Our little ones will never be forgotten hun, and although over time people around seem to forget, in the hearts of those of us who have lost, they will live on forever. So very very sorry Victoria, big hugs Pipsxxxxx
Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:42 am
Victoria im so sorry you have suffered another loss
i lost my little girl at 18 weeks in the april of 07 and then lost another baby at 5weeks in august of 07. it was so hard and your right it does bring back all the pain of losing your little girl again.
like you though i was relieved that it happened sooner that time because i couldnt imagine having to have gone through another 2nd trimester loss
if you ever want to chat just pm me anytime, no words i can say will make you feel any better but i hope you are coping as best you can xxx it will happen one day!! i went on to have andrew after both my losses and hes perfect so i have hope for you xxx
Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 5:22 pm
Thanks ladies xx
I just replied to your pm Em.
I have tears streaming down my face too Pips, I can only just begin to imagine how hard it must have been to lose Harry at 36 wks. I spoke to my OH's aunt who lost a little boy at 28 wks 30 yrs ago and she still remembers the pain & thinks about him everyday. Not that I ever want to forget, but I just can't imagine living with this pain for the rest of my life, just wondering what my daughter would have looked like, what she would have done with her life, etc. It's just unbearable to think about that. I suppose it's not going to get any easier until I have that longed for baby in my arms.
Thanks Wriggler, I'm glad you've now got Andrew & little Sophie, especially having Sophie as I know the health issue was only with girls. I'm sure it will happen for me and hopefully luck is on my side next time! Not sure when, but we will be ttc again. xx
After a horrible few years, life is good.
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:44 am
Victoria, I m so sorry for your another loss and my heart goes out to you. I know its really hard time for you and difficult to deal with this grief. My friend lost her baby last year with m/c. It was so bad time for her. I understand your feelings and I pray to God for you and you are in my thoughts.
Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 1:42 am
Im so sorry to hear of all your loses. I had a stillborn September 09 a little boy at 36weeks, we named him Rohan. Its the hardest thing to cope with losing any baby is painfull, my friend also had a m/c July 09. But im pregnant again, not too far gone though so dead worried, but don't give up hope!! Your bubba wouldnt want you to give up, give your body and mind a lil rest then pick urself up n try again! I'll be praying for you, and don't worry, your lil bubba has my boy to look after her now =] Talk to her, becuz u never know she might be able to hear you, she would want you to keep going...shes your strength to keep fighting. Good luck, and your not alone!!! ever wna talk just send me a message, i always reply as soon as i can =] sending you all lots of love xxxxx