Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 7:43 pm
Post subject: Patience please- i have a situation
I have been a step parent previously with my ex, who i have my first son with and i loved it, i got on with my step daughter famously, i felt no jelousy in the situation.
my now parner who i have my second son with is a different story... here goes
My partner was with his ex, they had a daughter, he was at the birth etc etc............. then she left him for another man (an affair)
then a DNA test turned up in the post stating his daughter wasn't his daughter but the other mans............ she was 4 by then!!
so he made the decision to keep contact every wkend, totally heartbroken but as far as she was concerned my partner was 'daddy',
She called her real father dad
To cut a long story short, he died in a freak work accident, so my partner has picked up the pieces for the little girl and been there with the focus that every thing happens for a reason.
Now, heres the prob,................ i just cant bond with her, the poor thing has been through alot it is not her fault but im afraid she is the oddest child ever!
She is 9 going on 30 and talks to me lke im dirt, she talks like 2 year old around my partner but is fine talking to me. I told her she could eat up an easter egg but she shoot me the evilest look and said, ''i dont want to fill up on chocolate do i ?!?''
my five year old would have prob eaten the box aswell if id have given him the green light i just cant relate and dread her coming over, she makes me feel uncomfortable and im not sure why. People think im cruel, until they meet her!! then its, oooo i see what u mean, shes an odd kid!!
i cant talk to OH about it iv just gotta get on with it but its been 18 months with no change, iv never met a child like it!!
Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:30 pm
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 9:36 am
thats a tuff one! - probably patience and time .... don't be hard on yourself sounds like you are doing a fab job - just let her come to you my ss's don't like fuss its hard but i try and let them come to me not the other way round! lots of luck hun! xx