1 year ago today........
  Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:59 am
Post subject: 1 year ago today........ I can't believe it's one year since I lost Isabella, it has gone so fast yet sometimes it feels like such a long time ago I was carrying her. Sometimes it still feels like yesterday that it all happened, I re-run everything that happened that day perfectly in my mind like it was just yesterday.
I can't help imagining that I'd have a beautiful 8 mth old if everything had of been different, it really really hurts. I've made a flower arrangement to take to the cemetry like I did on my due date and we have some sky lanterns to send up to her later, I just wish I could do the things a Mummy is supposed to do. I love you & miss you so much my darling and I wish I could turn back the clock and today never happened. You'll always be with me in my heart until the day I can be with you again. xxxx _________________ After a horrible few years, life is good. 
 Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 4:17 pm
Post subject: Thank you for your message Claire, I tried to do something for her to give me something to focus on and not dwell on sadness too much.
Our Angels are never forgotten. xx _________________ After a horrible few years, life is good.
Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 4:21 pm
Post subject: Bless you hunni. My little one was lost early at 6 and a half wks so I never got to me him or her. But we planted a pear tree in their memory and now in its second year its growing its first fruit. I live in a bungalow so its just outside our bedroom window, and I often sit and look out on it. In a strange way it takes away any sad thoughts.
Good luck with TTC in the future and hope you get your BFP soon. Take care. Clairexxxxx Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 8:19 am
Post subject: Thank you ladies for your kind words. We just had our summer holiday, I felt a few tears rolling down my cheek as we were travelling thinking how it should have been our first holiday with the baby. It still hurts & as much as I miss Isabella, I think it's a lot to do with being stuck on this TTC rollercoaster. I just want to get off!! Maybe I'm not meant to be blessed with anymore.
 _________________ After a horrible few years, life is good.
Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 9:41 am
Post subject: Im so sorry Victoria, special dates are so hard aren,t they. I really hope you can jump of that rollercoster soon and are blessed with a BFP. Sending you {{Big Hugs}} and to you little Angel Isabella.
Clairexx Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 12:21 pm
Post subject: Victoria,
i can can relate to everything you feel and say. I dont think you ever get over a loss as deep as this, time just eases it. I have been thinking about you, and hoping the summer holiday was something you were enjoying, and not feeling too sad. I think every anniversary you will wonder 'what if'......but focusing on the happier times and the future is more positive - and you are good at that. Life is so unfair - it does make you mad - but you are strong, and you have picked yourself up, and you always make me feel better 
Much love Julie xx _________________ 
Our baby Eleanor lost 6 Apr 10
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