Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 2:00 pm
Post subject: 1 year today
Feel I need to write to you today and tell you how much I still miss you. 11 short weeks you were inside me but the love I had for you was as strong as if I had held you in my arms.
1 year ago today me and daddy went for a scan to see how you were doing, your little heart had stopped beating a few days before and I lost the chance ever to meet you, I was admitted to hospital and then you were gone I never got to say goodbye I found this so hard and cryed buckets. I shut everyone out and took it out on daddy who I didnt reaslise was hurting just as much as I was we got through but never forgot you.
In August we found out that I was pregnant such a happy time and eased some of the hurt and guilt I felt about you. Your due date came and went and I tried not to dwell on it and live for the present.
Today as I type this I am 28 weeks pregnant I can feel your brother or sister kicking and punching me and getting right under my ribs but with tears pouring down my face. I hurt for what could have been and for the life that you never had. I feel guilty for being so excited for the baby im carrying and for the love I have for them as I cant show that love to you. I miss you and hope one day I will get to meet you. Till then sleep well all my love mummy xxxx