Please help girls......its a really bad day today :-(

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Casstia
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:11 am 
Post subject: Please help girls......its a really bad day today :-(
Hi girls.

Sorry to plant all my misery on you lot but am a bit limited to who I can truly talk to about this....so here goes....

Im about 4/5 days into my tww and for some apparent reason have just got really down. I think it is something to do with what hubby said on Saturday night. He has never been overly concerned about having children quickly, he loves kids and cant wait to have ours but he isnt like me and wants to talk about it all the time and buy buggies and cots!! but on Saturday night we went to a wedding and I was watching him watching a baby that was about a year old and he just suddenly broke down and started saying that he really wants a child and its taking forever. I kno this doesnt seem like a big deal to a lot but if you knew my hubby then you'd know it was!!

The problem I have now is that I feel like even more of a failure than I did before. I spose when I was only disappointing myself it didnt matter as much but now I know he feels the same too its harder and harder. We never seem to have any luck in any factors of our lives and me not being able to conceive just about sums it up. I know I sound really overdramatic but I just cant help feeling like this....its driving me mad Crying or Very sad sorry rant over Crying or Very sad
sarah23
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:46 am 
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Oh Casstia, I'm sorry you're feeling so low.
1. Don't blame yourself and let anyone make you feel like a failure - every women is different and that's something we've all got to live with - you're not alone - so many people have troubles conceiving and thinking about the fact you can only do it 2 days a month, it's a miracle anyone gets pregnant!
2. You need to tell your hubbie how you're feeling - getting it all out will probably help you.
You've got to try not to let it stress you out and worry you because that will make it harder to conceive.
Have you thought about taking up something to take your mind off it?
How long have you been trying for if you don't mind me asking? I think we all get like it - i'm soooo up and down at the mo - I have to apologise to my bloke all the time because I'm so unpredicable. I had a mc in january and it hit me hard. I cried loads, sometimes I still do - one minute I'm fine and the next I feel terrible and I sometimes take it out on my bloke because he doesn't show how he feels and I think he doesn't care (which is hurrendous because I know its really hurt him too) - I feel under even more pressure because he had a child with his ex which was unplanned and wasn't even a good relationship - she got pregnant by accident! So I feel like I need it to happen quickly and feel like a failure that I lost our first baby.
All I'm trying to say...is please don't be hard on yourself - it will happen when you're body is relaxed and ready for it. I wish you all the luck in the world - you'll be okay. xxx
P.S. Is it worth going to your gp to check everything's okay - might put your mind at rest?
Dory
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:47 am 
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aww don't i'm so sorry your down..i'm very emotional these days and im all teary now. how long have you been trying and how old are you? Crying or Very sad
KJ24
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:00 am 
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Hi Casstia,

I am sorry to hear you are having problems but please do not blame yourself, at least you have come to the right place. Everyone on here is wonderful they can really get you through some low times. I should know I have had many in the last 8 months!

You didn't say how long you have been ttc? My partner and I have been ttc for 8 months, and still no luck. we are now entering month 9. Your body plays tricks and is in conspiracy with your mind. It can make you feel like you are pregnant and even postpone aunt flo too. Me and my partner decided to give it a rest after 6 months, were house hunting (picking up the keys on the 2nd may) so when my period was late this month I thought there may have been a chance I was pregnant. We hadn't been trying and had even missed my ovulation this month as he was on nite shifts. When I'm not ttc my cycles are regular every 27 days. Last month i went 34 days! Imagine the torment. I decided not to get my hopes up in case we weren't pregnant. But I got really low last week when I finally came on on the monday.

I spent every day last weekend crying! No idea why, part of me is still convinced that I am pregnant. See last post as to see why? It probably isn't healthy to think like that but I know how you feel.

Please don't think you are disappointing anyone, i'm sure that your husband wouldn't want you to blame yourself.

Maybe go and have a chat with your GP? see what they can advise on?

But keep your chin up relax ( easier said than done I know )

Lots of Baby dust to you!

PM me if you really need a chat cos I think we are in the same boat. A problem shared is a problem halved!?

Smile Smile
Casstia
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:05 am 
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Thanks guys....knew Id come to the right place....your all great!!! Im 26 and have only been trying for a few months. Officially "trying" since Christmas but wasnt really taking my pill much between July and December. I feel a bit like a fraud cos I know some people on here have been trying for like two years but every day is so painful at the moment. I know and have known from a very young age I was born to be a mummy so its sooooo bloomin frustruatin! Sad
sarah23
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:10 am 
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And you will be a mummy! Think positively hun! I can't stop thinking about it now - it's taking over everything. Every little feeling, I'm wondering if it's a baby being made!
The ladies on here are really keeping me going and reading people's stories and hearing advice is just making me feel much better. I'm only 23 - so seem young - I feel like I should get pregnant right away! Don't feel like a fraud - everyone has been trying for different amounts of time - it's frustrating for me and I've only been trying for a month! How bad is that! Like KJ24 said, keep talking to people about your feelings - bottling it up won't help you. Lots of baby dust and luck to you munchkin. We're all in this together. xxxx
honie
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:17 am 
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hi sarah i know how u feel i am young aswell so i expect to fall straight away
i thought i was but the past few days i have had some spottin so not loookin ery hopeful now good luck 2 u
jenniP35
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:19 am 
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Aw Casstia, don't be so hard on yourself and try and look at the positives. Your man has suddenly shown some emotion and is as excited about having a baby as you are. It's hard to get men to open up but now that he has, talk to him, you'll feel so much better for it

And you're not taking ages to conceive, it takes two to tango and you've really not been trying that long but I know, like everyone else, what it's like every month when AF arrives.

Chin up love and give that man of yours a hug for showing his softer side X Smile
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sarah23
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:22 am 
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Hi Honie - thanks for your advice - you've been really helpful the last few days. How old are you? Could the spotting be implantation? It's way to early for your period isn't it? I would look at that in a good way hun! Smile x
Casstia
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:00 am 
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You guys are soooooo fab! I love you all to bits....and I really want one of those ticker thingys!! JenniP where did you get it from.....think it may be of some help if ive got something a little jovial to keep looking at!!! Smile


XOXOXOXO(((((((((((((((((((((((((((GROUP HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))XOOXOX
honie
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:05 am 
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aaawww that is nice how u doin
sarah23
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:13 am 
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See - I'm happy now cos you seem happier! Big hug back! xxxx
honie
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:22 am 
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aaawww u really r really nice u have made me smile now before that i was so miserable cos of the spottin so thanks alot
Tigger83
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:07 pm 
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Hey hun,

Sorry I havent replied earlier, had a rather manic day at work!

Im really sorry you are feeling so crappy today, but I hope these wonderful ladies have been able to pick your spirits up and give you some positive vibes. Its the hardest thing to do when your mind is so focused on one thing, but try and be positive and trust that it WILL happen for you, and all of us, when the time is right. My sister was trying for many years and had all the fertility treatments under the sun. They were at the last try of IUI before starting IVF and for some unkown reason, nothing different but it just happened. She is now 5 1/2 months pg Very Happy Very Happy
I am a firm believer in fate and everything happens for a reason.
Lots of babydust and BFP vibes to all.
Txxx
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