[lillien]

i literly have no where else to turn to air this so i guess this is the best place i have a son who is 18 months old now and since his birth me and my partners relatinship has been terrible due to me. i guess it started after my sn nathans birth there was issues with partners family and major fights all my fault i take the blame so last year we stopped talkingto them as the hadnever seen nathan. then nathan turned one year old and we moved into new place to life and we where still at each others throats and it was horrible but we alwas stayed togther and my partner was flirting with someone else so that caused lots of problems and on a number of time my partner sent me and nathan packing just because i was so horrible to him and wasnt making him feel like a dad or treating hiom like an equal which i dont. but we did stay as he said to and i still want the relationship to work as deep down a love him and no matter what he had done i still loved him. then we moved in to new place and where still arguing and then in oce=tober it was my partner bday and his dad came up to our new place to give my partner his present as he was off work for a week andf that is where if his family have anthing to give him giv eit in there. so i blew a major fuse it all blew up wont go inot to much detail but in the end partner cut all ties with his family which is what i wanted as i dont want them in my sons life and i know they are alexs my partners family and i know how hard it must be for him i couldnt have done it. but of course he blames me which yeah he has every right to as i am t o blame i caused it stired the pot as they say. so they re gone but we still argue and yeah because i am insecure and worry that he will cheat come on im not that pretty as someoone once said to me i am damaged goods and i know it from pregrency i have horrible stretch mark and am not the size i was before i had nathan and that bothers me alot because im meant to be the thin one yeah i had a baby but i should be able to be the size i was before. then i ahve myu scars from cutting when i was younger so am damaged as i know im not the same person i was when i menat alex i have a cold heart. my rektionshio is falling apart all because of me being horrible alex yeah has his moments but its me what wrong with me i should be so happy i have a son but my relationship is falling apart my son has torn me and alex apart and it shouldnt have been like that he should have brought us closer but instead i cut alex out i hav to be in control of everything in my life including alex and thats why we argue so much. like take the other day we argued and sionce then i hasnt been the same alex bottles things up and doesnt tell me whats wrong with him until sometimes we argue because i get so annoyed that he wont talk to me . so over the past couple of days i have just been trying to keep my mouth shut and not say that im upset and yeah the reason im upset id due to my sillyness and being parionod that he will cheat on me and now thats we have argued i feel like he is going to do it this time so now i feel like i have to watch him. and also to not annoy him so go out of my way to be helpful and not get get him annoyed so that we dont argue like take this befre the argument we would cuddle in bed before going to sleep but now i ask for a cuddle and he hjust says no beds r for sleeping in not cuddling and it just feels like theres now a wedge between us and yeah my creation and i knoew it but im not pushing the issue that he wont cuddle or me or that i feel like we rnt a couple were just living in the same house and have child togther there is still some affecxtion there he will taklk to me like a normal human being and be nice is h but not the same as it was before the argument where we would cuddle and kiss when ever we wanted not like now where i feel like asking for a kiss or a cuddle might be pushing him to much or that i will seem to clingy as i tend to cling alot as i liek to be cuddled and to be shown that u love me by saying it and cuddling and kissing me. i still love him but he says he loves me but i dont show him respect and treat him like i love him. i cuddle, kiss try and be nice what else can i do i try so do i not love him as he says im not showing it to him.


i still want him to be in my life as i miss him so much when hes not here but then at the same tim i like my alone time when he goes to work and its just me and nathan as then i can be free to be silly and nto have to worry about upseting soemone else but then i do like him being here as i have someone to help me and be there to talk to. and go places with.

alex says nathan depends on me to much and eah he does and that nathans picking up on how i feel towards alex becasue nathan doesnt like staying with alex id=f i leave the room he will cry and get himself into a fit if im not there with him.also nathan can give alex mean looks and that hurts alex as he picks them up for me and i know it so yeah have a turned my son against his dad not meaning to it seems like i have not good.

what do i do yeah i will stay in the relastionship as i need this relationship and alex because when were good were good but when were bad god r we bad. i know in other realtionship they argue but i dont think they argue as much as we do
alex said the other day he wish he hadnt given me a baby and that i had stayed to meet him on the forst nightwe meet. i know he said it in an argument but i belive what u say in arguments tends to be true. he loves his son but at the same time he feel detached forom him due to me

[MaisieMoosMummy]

i literly have no where else to turn to air this so i guess this is the best place i have a son who is 18 months old now and since his birth me and my partners relatinship has been terrible due to me. i guess it started after my sn nathans birth there was issues with partners family and major fights all my fault i take the blame so last year we stopped talkingto them as the hadnever seen nathan. then nathan turned one year old and we moved into new place to life and we where still at each others throats and it was horrible but we alwas stayed togther and my partner was flirting with someone else so that caused lots of problems and on a number of time my partner sent me and nathan packing just because i was so horrible to him and wasnt making him feel like a dad or treating hiom like an equal which i dont. but we did stay as he said to and i still want the relationship to work as deep down a love him and no matter what he had done i still loved him. then we moved in to new place and where still arguing and then in oce=tober it was my partner bday and his dad came up to our new place to give my partner his present as he was off work for a week andf that is where if his family have anthing to give him giv eit in there. so i blew a major fuse it all blew up wont go inot to much detail but in the end partner cut all ties with his family which is what i wanted as i dont want them in my sons life and i know they are alexs my partners family and i know how hard it must be for him i couldnt have done it. but of course he blames me which yeah he has every right to as i am t o blame i caused it stired the pot as they say. so they re gone but we still argue and yeah because i am insecure and worry that he will cheat come on im not that pretty as someoone once said to me i am damaged goods and i know it from pregrency i have horrible stretch mark and am not the size i was before i had nathan and that bothers me alot because im meant to be the thin one yeah i had a baby but i should be able to be the size i was before. then i ahve myu scars from cutting when i was younger so am damaged as i know im not the same person i was when i menat alex i have a cold heart. my rektionshio is falling apart all because of me being horrible alex yeah has his moments but its me what wrong with me i should be so happy i have a son but my relationship is falling apart my son has torn me and alex apart and it shouldnt have been like that he should have brought us closer but instead i cut alex out i hav to be in control of everything in my life including alex and thats why we argue so much. like take the other day we argued and sionce then i hasnt been the same alex bottles things up and doesnt tell me whats wrong with him until sometimes we argue because i get so annoyed that he wont talk to me . so over the past couple of days i have just been trying to keep my mouth shut and not say that im upset and yeah the reason im upset id due to my sillyness and being parionod that he will cheat on me and now thats we have argued i feel like he is going to do it this time so now i feel like i have to watch him. and also to not annoy him so go out of my way to be helpful and not get get him annoyed so that we dont argue like take this befre the argument we would cuddle in bed before going to sleep but now i ask for a cuddle and he hjust says no beds r for sleeping in not cuddling and it just feels like theres now a wedge between us and yeah my creation and i knoew it but im not pushing the issue that he wont cuddle or me or that i feel like we rnt a couple were just living in the same house and have child togther there is still some affecxtion there he will taklk to me like a normal human being and be nice is h but not the same as it was before the argument where we would cuddle and kiss when ever we wanted not like now where i feel like asking for a kiss or a cuddle might be pushing him to much or that i will seem to clingy as i tend to cling alot as i liek to be cuddled and to be shown that u love me by saying it and cuddling and kissing me. i still love him but he says he loves me but i dont show him respect and treat him like i love him. i cuddle, kiss try and be nice what else can i do i try so do i not love him as he says im not showing it to him.


i still want him to be in my life as i miss him so much when hes not here but then at the same tim i like my alone time when he goes to work and its just me and nathan as then i can be free to be silly and nto have to worry about upseting soemone else but then i do like him being here as i have someone to help me and be there to talk to. and go places with.

alex says nathan depends on me to much and eah he does and that nathans picking up on how i feel towards alex becasue nathan doesnt like staying with alex id=f i leave the room he will cry and get himself into a fit if im not there with him.also nathan can give alex mean looks and that hurts alex as he picks them up for me and i know it so yeah have a turned my son against his dad not meaning to it seems like i have not good.

what do i do yeah i will stay in the relastionship as i need this relationship and alex because when were good were good but when were bad god r we bad. i know in other realtionship they argue but i dont think they argue as much as we do
alex said the other day he wish he hadnt given me a baby and that i had stayed to meet him on the forst nightwe meet. i know he said it in an argument but i belive what u say in arguments tends to be true. he loves his son but at the same time he feel detached forom him due to me

[lillien]

i literly have no where else to turn to air this so i guess this is the best place i have a son who is 18 months old now and since his birth me and my partners relatinship has been terrible due to me. i guess it started after my sn nathans birth there was issues with partners family and major fights all my fault i take the blame so last year we stopped talkingto them as the hadnever seen nathan. then nathan turned one year old and we moved into new place to life and we where still at each others throats and it was horrible but we alwas stayed togther and my partner was flirting with someone else so that caused lots of problems and on a number of time my partner sent me and nathan packing just because i was so horrible to him and wasnt making him feel like a dad or treating hiom like an equal which i dont. but we did stay as he said to and i still want the relationship to work as deep down a love him and no matter what he had done i still loved him. then we moved in to new place and where still arguing and then in oce=tober it was my partner bday and his dad came up to our new place to give my partner his present as he was off work for a week andf that is where if his family have anthing to give him giv eit in there. so i blew a major fuse it all blew up wont go inot to much detail but in the end partner cut all ties with his family which is what i wanted as i dont want them in my sons life and i know they are alexs my partners family and i know how hard it must be for him i couldnt have done it. but of course he blames me which yeah he has every right to as i am t o blame i caused it stired the pot as they say. so they re gone but we still argue and yeah because i am insecure and worry that he will cheat come on im not that pretty as someoone once said to me i am damaged goods and i know it from pregrency i have horrible stretch mark and am not the size i was before i had nathan and that bothers me alot because im meant to be the thin one yeah i had a baby but i should be able to be the size i was before. then i ahve myu scars from cutting when i was younger so am damaged as i know im not the same person i was when i menat alex i have a cold heart. my rektionshio is falling apart all because of me being horrible alex yeah has his moments but its me what wrong with me i should be so happy i have a son but my relationship is falling apart my son has torn me and alex apart and it shouldnt have been like that he should have brought us closer but instead i cut alex out i hav to be in control of everything in my life including alex and thats why we argue so much. like take the other day we argued and sionce then i hasnt been the same alex bottles things up and doesnt tell me whats wrong with him until sometimes we argue because i get so annoyed that he wont talk to me . so over the past couple of days i have just been trying to keep my mouth shut and not say that im upset and yeah the reason im upset id due to my sillyness and being parionod that he will cheat on me and now thats we have argued i feel like he is going to do it this time so now i feel like i have to watch him. and also to not annoy him so go out of my way to be helpful and not get get him annoyed so that we dont argue like take this befre the argument we would cuddle in bed before going to sleep but now i ask for a cuddle and he hjust says no beds r for sleeping in not cuddling and it just feels like theres now a wedge between us and yeah my creation and i knoew it but im not pushing the issue that he wont cuddle or me or that i feel like we rnt a couple were just living in the same house and have child togther there is still some affecxtion there he will taklk to me like a normal human being and be nice is h but not the same as it was before the argument where we would cuddle and kiss when ever we wanted not like now where i feel like asking for a kiss or a cuddle might be pushing him to much or that i will seem to clingy as i tend to cling alot as i liek to be cuddled and to be shown that u love me by saying it and cuddling and kissing me. i still love him but he says he loves me but i dont show him respect and treat him like i love him. i cuddle, kiss try and be nice what else can i do i try so do i not love him as he says im not showing it to him.


i still want him to be in my life as i miss him so much when hes not here but then at the same tim i like my alone time when he goes to work and its just me and nathan as then i can be free to be silly and nto have to worry about upseting soemone else but then i do like him being here as i have someone to help me and be there to talk to. and go places with.

alex says nathan depends on me to much and eah he does and that nathans picking up on how i feel towards alex becasue nathan doesnt like staying with alex id=f i leave the room he will cry and get himself into a fit if im not there with him.also nathan can give alex mean looks and that hurts alex as he picks them up for me and i know it so yeah have a turned my son against his dad not meaning to it seems like i have not good.

what do i do yeah i will stay in the relastionship as i need this relationship and alex because when were good were good but when were bad god r we bad. i know in other realtionship they argue but i dont think they argue as much as we do
alex said the other day he wish he hadnt given me a baby and that i had stayed to meet him on the forst nightwe meet. i know he said it in an argument but i belive what u say in arguments tends to be true. he loves his son but at the same time he feel detached forom him due to me

[MaisieMoosMummy]

i literly have no where else to turn to air this so i guess this is the best place i have a son who is 18 months old now and since his birth me and my partners relatinship has been terrible due to me. i guess it started after my sn nathans birth there was issues with partners family and major fights all my fault i take the blame so last year we stopped talkingto them as the hadnever seen nathan. then nathan turned one year old and we moved into new place to life and we where still at each others throats and it was horrible but we alwas stayed togther and my partner was flirting with someone else so that caused lots of problems and on a number of time my partner sent me and nathan packing just because i was so horrible to him and wasnt making him feel like a dad or treating hiom like an equal which i dont. but we did stay as he said to and i still want the relationship to work as deep down a love him and no matter what he had done i still loved him. then we moved in to new place and where still arguing and then in oce=tober it was my partner bday and his dad came up to our new place to give my partner his present as he was off work for a week andf that is where if his family have anthing to give him giv eit in there. so i blew a major fuse it all blew up wont go inot to much detail but in the end partner cut all ties with his family which is what i wanted as i dont want them in my sons life and i know they are alexs my partners family and i know how hard it must be for him i couldnt have done it. but of course he blames me which yeah he has every right to as i am t o blame i caused it stired the pot as they say. so they re gone but we still argue and yeah because i am insecure and worry that he will cheat come on im not that pretty as someoone once said to me i am damaged goods and i know it from pregrency i have horrible stretch mark and am not the size i was before i had nathan and that bothers me alot because im meant to be the thin one yeah i had a baby but i should be able to be the size i was before. then i ahve myu scars from cutting when i was younger so am damaged as i know im not the same person i was when i menat alex i have a cold heart. my rektionshio is falling apart all because of me being horrible alex yeah has his moments but its me what wrong with me i should be so happy i have a son but my relationship is falling apart my son has torn me and alex apart and it shouldnt have been like that he should have brought us closer but instead i cut alex out i hav to be in control of everything in my life including alex and thats why we argue so much. like take the other day we argued and sionce then i hasnt been the same alex bottles things up and doesnt tell me whats wrong with him until sometimes we argue because i get so annoyed that he wont talk to me . so over the past couple of days i have just been trying to keep my mouth shut and not say that im upset and yeah the reason im upset id due to my sillyness and being parionod that he will cheat on me and now thats we have argued i feel like he is going to do it this time so now i feel like i have to watch him. and also to not annoy him so go out of my way to be helpful and not get get him annoyed so that we dont argue like take this befre the argument we would cuddle in bed before going to sleep but now i ask for a cuddle and he hjust says no beds r for sleeping in not cuddling and it just feels like theres now a wedge between us and yeah my creation and i knoew it but im not pushing the issue that he wont cuddle or me or that i feel like we rnt a couple were just living in the same house and have child togther there is still some affecxtion there he will taklk to me like a normal human being and be nice is h but not the same as it was before the argument where we would cuddle and kiss when ever we wanted not like now where i feel like asking for a kiss or a cuddle might be pushing him to much or that i will seem to clingy as i tend to cling alot as i liek to be cuddled and to be shown that u love me by saying it and cuddling and kissing me. i still love him but he says he loves me but i dont show him respect and treat him like i love him. i cuddle, kiss try and be nice what else can i do i try so do i not love him as he says im not showing it to him.


i still want him to be in my life as i miss him so much when hes not here but then at the same tim i like my alone time when he goes to work and its just me and nathan as then i can be free to be silly and nto have to worry about upseting soemone else but then i do like him being here as i have someone to help me and be there to talk to. and go places with.

alex says nathan depends on me to much and eah he does and that nathans picking up on how i feel towards alex becasue nathan doesnt like staying with alex id=f i leave the room he will cry and get himself into a fit if im not there with him.also nathan can give alex mean looks and that hurts alex as he picks them up for me and i know it so yeah have a turned my son against his dad not meaning to it seems like i have not good.

what do i do yeah i will stay in the relastionship as i need this relationship and alex because when were good were good but when were bad god r we bad. i know in other realtionship they argue but i dont think they argue as much as we do
alex said the other day he wish he hadnt given me a baby and that i had stayed to meet him on the forst nightwe meet. i know he said it in an argument but i belive what u say in arguments tends to be true. he loves his son but at the same time he feel detached forom him due to me

[lillien]

i literly have no where else to turn to air this so i guess this is the best place i have a son who is 18 months old now and since his birth me and my partners relatinship has been terrible due to me. i guess it started after my sn nathans birth there was issues with partners family and major fights all my fault i take the blame so last year we stopped talkingto them as the hadnever seen nathan. then nathan turned one year old and we moved into new place to life and we where still at each others throats and it was horrible but we alwas stayed togther and my partner was flirting with someone else so that caused lots of problems and on a number of time my partner sent me and nathan packing just because i was so horrible to him and wasnt making him feel like a dad or treating hiom like an equal which i dont. but we did stay as he said to and i still want the relationship to work as deep down a love him and no matter what he had done i still loved him. then we moved in to new place and where still arguing and then in oce=tober it was my partner bday and his dad came up to our new place to give my partner his present as he was off work for a week andf that is where if his family have anthing to give him giv eit in there. so i blew a major fuse it all blew up wont go inot to much detail but in the end partner cut all ties with his family which is what i wanted as i dont want them in my sons life and i know they are alexs my partners family and i know how hard it must be for him i couldnt have done it. but of course he blames me which yeah he has every right to as i am t o blame i caused it stired the pot as they say. so they re gone but we still argue and yeah because i am insecure and worry that he will cheat come on im not that pretty as someoone once said to me i am damaged goods and i know it from pregrency i have horrible stretch mark and am not the size i was before i had nathan and that bothers me alot because im meant to be the thin one yeah i had a baby but i should be able to be the size i was before. then i ahve myu scars from cutting when i was younger so am damaged as i know im not the same person i was when i menat alex i have a cold heart. my rektionshio is falling apart all because of me being horrible alex yeah has his moments but its me what wrong with me i should be so happy i have a son but my relationship is falling apart my son has torn me and alex apart and it shouldnt have been like that he should have brought us closer but instead i cut alex out i hav to be in control of everything in my life including alex and thats why we argue so much. like take the other day we argued and sionce then i hasnt been the same alex bottles things up and doesnt tell me whats wrong with him until sometimes we argue because i get so annoyed that he wont talk to me . so over the past couple of days i have just been trying to keep my mouth shut and not say that im upset and yeah the reason im upset id due to my sillyness and being parionod that he will cheat on me and now thats we have argued i feel like he is going to do it this time so now i feel like i have to watch him. and also to not annoy him so go out of my way to be helpful and not get get him annoyed so that we dont argue like take this befre the argument we would cuddle in bed before going to sleep but now i ask for a cuddle and he hjust says no beds r for sleeping in not cuddling and it just feels like theres now a wedge between us and yeah my creation and i knoew it but im not pushing the issue that he wont cuddle or me or that i feel like we rnt a couple were just living in the same house and have child togther there is still some affecxtion there he will taklk to me like a normal human being and be nice is h but not the same as it was before the argument where we would cuddle and kiss when ever we wanted not like now where i feel like asking for a kiss or a cuddle might be pushing him to much or that i will seem to clingy as i tend to cling alot as i liek to be cuddled and to be shown that u love me by saying it and cuddling and kissing me. i still love him but he says he loves me but i dont show him respect and treat him like i love him. i cuddle, kiss try and be nice what else can i do i try so do i not love him as he says im not showing it to him.


i still want him to be in my life as i miss him so much when hes not here but then at the same tim i like my alone time when he goes to work and its just me and nathan as then i can be free to be silly and nto have to worry about upseting soemone else but then i do like him being here as i have someone to help me and be there to talk to. and go places with.

alex says nathan depends on me to much and eah he does and that nathans picking up on how i feel towards alex becasue nathan doesnt like staying with alex id=f i leave the room he will cry and get himself into a fit if im not there with him.also nathan can give alex mean looks and that hurts alex as he picks them up for me and i know it so yeah have a turned my son against his dad not meaning to it seems like i have not good.

what do i do yeah i will stay in the relastionship as i need this relationship and alex because when were good were good but when were bad god r we bad. i know in other realtionship they argue but i dont think they argue as much as we do
alex said the other day he wish he hadnt given me a baby and that i had stayed to meet him on the forst nightwe meet. i know he said it in an argument but i belive what u say in arguments tends to be true. he loves his son but at the same time he feel detached forom him due to me