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MummyToKatieMay
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Joined: 01 Dec 2011
Posts: 15
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 1:37 pm 
Post subject: Contact
Hi girls.
Bit of a long one so sorry in advance. My little girl is 2 and when she was 6months old me and her dad split up (very messy split, he was violent)... he saw her for a bit after we split (usually with me there as i didnt trust him, drugs, fighting etc) anyway it wasnt long before all that stopped, the exvuses came and he stopped seeing her. I havent spoken to him for over a year and a half. (nor any of his family) Ive recently found out that he's in prison for a number of things and is serving roughly 2years. So his sister (one of many!) has got in contact with me via twitter the other day.... I replied to her as i'm not rude and she just asked how me and my little one were - this is the first time shes been in contact for around 2years! litrally the day we split up ive not spoken to any of his family since..they've never bothered and neither have i. So now she's asked for a picture of my little girl - her niece - and i dont know what to do. i know it sounds stupid but they probably dont have a clue what she looks like anymore and im scared there going to try use that picture incase they see her out with me etc...I know thats probably ridiculous and she just wants to see her and show her brother (my daughters dad) but I also feel like he hasnt bithered for the past year and a half. hes caused me nothing but trouble including smashing my cars windows twice within two weeks just before he went to prison last year....I just dont know what to do. I havent really spoken to any of my family or friends about this as i know they will all say dnt speak to her just block her etc......i think i need a outsiders view. so ladies if you have an opinion please tell me honestly. what would you do? I know ve rambled a it so anything you want explaining just ask

thanks girls xx
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* I used to be KatieMaysMummyX *
RacheynHarry
AskBaby Star
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Joined: 06 Jun 2010
Posts: 2074
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Posted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 10:20 pm 
Post subject:
Hi hun, I didnt want to read and run.

If you are happy for her to have a picture of her then you should let her have one. Its a situation where you are the one that makes the ultimate decision over this.

Lets face it, at the end of the day, it is just a photo and you could send her one that isnt all that good if you werent that keen on her having one.

Is this woman likely to want more after you have sent her a pic? Are you prepared for her to start a relationship up with your daughter if she wants one?

Perhaps by seeing a photo of your little girl they will realise what they are missing out on and how much of a good mum you are.

I havent been in your situation, however I refuse to let DH brother put any pictures on his facebook as I dont like all his druggie mates looking at him and making comments. My BIL is a complete tw@t who does drugs and is generally a rude person and acts like a 16 year old and not a 29 year old! He said he didnt care if he was in Harrys life or not so, as a mum my main priority is Harry and he doesnt see his uncle.

Sorry I've rambled on hun, and if your still reading, you know in your heart that your beautiful little girl is all that you have made her and you will make the right decision.

x
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lillien
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Joined: 21 Jul 2008
Posts: 258
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 9:31 am 
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i kind of know where ure coming from me and my partner dont talk to his parents and have no contact with them as they cut as out of their life due to situations from both our side. i sent my oh parnets pic of my son at one stage to make him happy as he wanted them to have a pic ( the reason i did it was to save my relationship) so not the same as ure situation but i wish i had as the same reasons for u in case they saw my son out with me and use that pic to recognise him and then try to build up a relationship with him which they have no right o for several reason. but i think in ure heart u know what to do. u sound like u have done a good job raising ure daughter on ure own without their hwelp and to me it would be confusing to bring more people in to ure daughters life because then she might start asking wheres daddy and it could get messy. just my opinion and also why now get in touch with u maybe she is just tryingt o make amend but where was she for the laat 2 years u dont choose to be an aunt or granparent or dad when u want to
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