Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:31 pm
Oh my god, it makes me angry that so many people read these and never actually think about helping you.
As far as your rights go, it all depends of your financial situation and your liviing coditions. If your partner is liveing in a cramped home, and he has underlineing medical conditions or mental conditions, or you feel your son is not safe then you will most likely gain full custody
If he is jobless and his home is not clean ect he won't get full custody, maybe shared but will not be allowed to have your son overnight at all.
I'm guessing your home is probably well cleaned and nicely put together and your financial situation is settled. if it is? you'll be fine, but think before all of this goes into action, my ex and me fought like cat and dog a the very begning of our speration and it really affected our daughter, causieng her to have nihgtmares and sometimes resenting us and not being happy around us or comftable.
It can greatfully affect children as well as adults, my advice is that both of you (if possible)you both need to sit down as calm adults and talk properly about it, if it clearly cannot be resolved through being mature on both sides than court is the eaiest way to go xx
Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:43 pm
It depends on many things really , it's hard to say without knowing your circumstances , best thing to do is get legal advice from a specialist solicitor , a lot will give you so long free or for a minimal cost so you know where you stand, generally though the courts do like to grant access unless you have a good reason as to why it shouldn't happen , this could well be supervised access at a special centre where he could be watched with your son.
If you are happy for him to have access but can't come to an agreement between yourselves or you're worried he may mess you about then a solicitor can put it down in writing for you so if he does break the agreement and things go to court then you can show you were being reasonable and that tends to go in your favour .
I think it's fine to have conditions attached though such as where he can or can't take him and also other people who come in contact with him during these visits and the solicitor can put all that down on paper too .
In an ideal world you could just sort it beween yourselves but I know from experience it's not always possible but sometimes just getting an official letter does the trick and you don't have to go as far as the courts.
If it did though they take the views of the child into account so if your son was afraid of or didn't want to see his Dad they would listen to that and not force him to see him. Good luck xx