Don't know what to think and feeling down

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famiah
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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 3:39 pm 
Post subject: Don't know what to think and feeling down
Sorry i haven't really been on for a while.

Me and Hubby decided to ttc for the past 3 months for number 2, since i have only had one AF as i have long cycles.

But i don't know what to do now as he has been made redundant and he is the main earner, plus we don't get any help from tax creds either. He has been miserable and grumpy for the last month and things are just a bit wierd at the moment.

We have recently fallen out too, and i just feel like giving up. As much as i want another baby i just wonder is there any point in having a baby if we aren't strong enough as a couple. After my first DD which took a year to get a BFP, we have kind of drifted apart. I feel he wasn't as supportive as he could have been after she was born and i think i resent him for that. He feels i have no time for him, but i just get caught up in work, looking after DD, Household and GYM (trying to loose some weight too after i've put on alot after number 1). Its hard managing everything, plus we have a whole lot financial mess and redundancy won't help.

I just feel so [*@!#%*] and low and don't know what to do. I go through phases where i just want to call it quits with my marriage but don't have the guts to do it. Then other days we are totaly fine. Things have just changed so much.

Sorry for the rant, i just feel i need to let it out.
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KazM
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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 6:40 pm 
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Maybe put plans for baby number 2 on hold until you have sorted your relationship out. The stress of a new baby really won't help matters.
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Pen81
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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 8:40 pm 
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Agree with Kaz, put the plans for the second lo on hold now for and first make sure you guys feels better again. Sorry to hear about his redundancy, can imagine that doesn't help things.
Hope it all gets better soon!
MrsZargon
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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 9:46 pm 
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The day I got married my boss at the time who very old and wise said to me the secret of a happy marriage was to always find time for each other no matter what (kids/money worries/careers) gets in the way! I didn't take his words too seriously at the time but I realise now that he meant the harder it is to have quality time together the harder you have to push to make it happen! I don't know if that can help you guys but maybe some quality time just the 2 of you could help you get back on track?

Oh and I agree with the others, another baby won't help matters it's best if you sort it out first xxx
famiah
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Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 9:40 am 
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Thanks for the advice.

i do agree with you all i think it would be best to keep things on hold till we sort ourselves out.

On the bright side we did make up this morning. But i still want things to settle before we decide we really want baby number 2 now.

Going through redundancy has been tough on him, so it would be best to wait till he is back on his feet again. we will just have to wait and see if AF arrives now, and then go from there. Either way we will both be happy if i do get a BFP its just going to mean we will have to work harder to make things work.

I do feel alot better than past couple of days.

MrsZargon - I agree we do need some quality time together, we barely spend time with each other lately, it will do us some good.
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xxHeathxx
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Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 2:49 pm 
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We were in a similar situation a couple of months back. OH got made redundant over a year ago (luckily he wasn't the main wage earner) but it does put such a lot of stress on the relationship. If he is used to bringing in the money and supporting his family it will really affect his pride. He will be feeling fairly down I'm sure so try to be as supportive as you can, and as MrsZargon says, spend some quality time together. If you can get away for a night, or even just go out for a nice meal and enjoy each others company.

Hope things work out for you, I'm sure they will with a bit of time.

xxx
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