Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 8:49 am
Post subject: Arrrrgh!! Rant!
Hello ladies... Sorry but im going to rant! Im so [*CENSORED*] off with people (mainly at work) saying "oohh you should have another baby now" "when you having another" "aww kacie needs a brother or sister"
RIGHT! I WISH IT WAS THAT BLOODY EASY!!
I would absoultley love another baby right now but it doesnt work like that! Maybe for some lucky so and so's who only has to look at a man and get pregnant!! Grrrrr!!!!
Hope everyone is ok.. Xx
Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 8:35 am
I know what you mean, I've had comments for years since having my son along the lines of why have you not had another yet ?
Mostly from people who should know better as well
Errr maybe because I stupidly agreed in the spur of the moment whilst going in for an emergency section in a foreign country with a prem baby to be sterilised, which I regretted instantly but had to wait 8yrs to have reversed and now still CAN'T GET BL**DY PREGNANT YOU MORON !!!!!!!!
Not that I say that of course
Then on the other extreme the day I found out last October that my only tube was probably blocked with scar tissue, my oldest DD (who had major problems herself with multiple m/c's and took over 2 1/2 yrs to get pregnant and stay pregnant so should know how horrible it is to want a baby and not be able to have one) turned round to me and said 'Well it's probably for the best as you're too old really for another now anyway '
Couldn't believe how insensitive she was as I never once said to her she was 'too young' when she was TTC conceive at 19 after her first accidental pregnancy and missed m/c as the way I see it she was an adult and made her own choices just like i'm an adult and can decide if i'm 'too old' for another baby myself and I supported her through everything she's been through and she knew what I'd been through up to that point with the reversal and investigations and 2 laps and the cannulation and trying everything I could for over 2yrs to get pregnant and still said that, as if it all didn't matter
Sometimes people just don't stop and think before they open their mouths and never even realise how much those words can hurt you
You just have to try and ignore it and not let it get to you, and hopefully it won't be much longer before you get that BFP xxx
Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 11:58 am
Oh hun its unreal how inconsiderate some people can be!!
If only it was as easy as a click of the finger.. The things you would actually like to say to some people though! Unfortunately you get to the point where you cant hold it any more and just explode!
You sound like you've had a tough ride hun, really hope you get your BFP real soon.
Hopefully its not too long for mine going to book an appointment at docs because these feelings I keep getting honestly feels like a baby! Its driving me mad! xx
Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:07 pm
I'm not surprised it must be so confusing, it's a shame you don't know any nurses or midwives who you could get to have a feel of your stomach to see if they can tell what's going on Can you not feel anything yourself when you're lying down
When I first found out last time I couldn't (but the doc and midwife could)but within a couple of weeks when I was lying down I had a definite harder lump at the bottom of my belly that I knew was my uterus and that was even before I felt definite movement xx
Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 6:27 am
Me too! Out of interest what do you say when you re asked? I'm still trying to perfect the perfect response that doesn't involve my voice cracking under the emotion of it! I've found "No I don't think so" and then silence is usually the best. I normally fill the silence by imagining myself stabbing them in the head lol yes it's seriously hurtful and insensitive isn't it - and even worse when they pass some judgement like only children being lonely
Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 6:48 am
I just say "well were still talking about it" and "maybe in a while" or I just smile and walk away lol My lo has just turned one so I can get away with still thinking about having another... But I would just love to scream and shout saying its non of there bloody business!!!!!!!!
Omg I hate that! She cant be an only child, she needs one to play with. This was what what pi**ed me off... "She will turn out to be a spoilt brat if you don't have any more children" WHAT!? At this point I had to just walk away... Xxx
Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:28 am
I heard an even worse one the other day. My friend who can't have children for medical reasons (I think her and her husband have come to terms with it) was told by a lady in the gym that "you're not a real woman until you've had a child" I couldn't believe it when she told me! I guess there are just some really horrible people in the world as well as a lot that just don't think before they speak!
Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:11 pm
It is a very annoying question, especially when you've given your answer but they still continue to list the reasons why you should have another! It is none of their business, they have no right to a say in your family life!!! Mrs zargon- the comment about not being a real woman until you've had a child, is awful! It actually brought tears to my eyes cos when I was struggling to conceive I did actually have that feeling of not being a real woman. I imagine it must have been very hard for your friend, even if she's come to terms with not having children, cos its such an insensitive, cutting and cruel comment to make. Some people make you wonder about the human race! Thankfully there are a lot of people that restore your faith in humans.
Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:31 pm
I just say we'd like one more yes but were not sure when, and try to change the subject. People presume cos you have one then you dont have problems. I've stopped ovulating and start on clomid next week i really really hope it works. I think its 50% chance but thats higher if you already have one so fingers crossed xx
TTC No 2 since June 2011
Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 1:49 pm
It's interesting really given that so many people experience problems TTC be it struggling to fall pg, miscarriages whatever you would think that it would be widely known not to ask those questions or make such awful comments! Do u think it is because ppl don't tend to talk about their TTC problems? I mean if everyone answered truthfully - yes i want a/more child/ren BUT I'm having tests to find out why I can't conceive, Ive had multiple miscarriages, I'm having IVF etc etc thenit would make people better educated and therefore more sensitive? Or do u think it wouldn't make a difference?
Rubylily yes my friend was really upset by it and I don't blame her! I think the only positive in her situation is that they always knew they couldn't have children rather than trying and then finding out but even so it must have hurt a lot!
Loz fingers crossed for you and the Clomid, I'm having a Hycosy next week so also feels like if that comes back I statistically have a higher chance of conceiving in the next couple of months. Let's hope we all get those BFP's soon xxx
Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 4:18 pm
OMG!! what an awful thing to say! Your poor friend to have to deal with such ignorance!
I suppose knowing someones situation with TTC helps to understand and not ask question that might upset them in any way.. But then TTC is I feel pressuring enough nevermind everyone who you see often knowing about it and especially if they've never had a problem ttc and maybe even judging you!
Good luck loz and MrsZargon really hope you get your BFPs very soon!!
Im currently waiting for AF to come back after pill injection so we will see.. xx
Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 9:37 pm