Posted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 4:02 pm
Post subject: i have a really weird question about getting pregnant
my husband and i are trying but he has pulled out for as long as we have been together and he says he cant bring his self to stay in and ejaculate inside of me. so we started just wiping it off and its usually on his fingers and then he inserts those. weird i know. but are our chances still good this way?
Posted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 5:15 pm
Hmmm difficult to say, obviously there will be some there but I doubt there will be enough. On the journey to the egg so may sperm doesn't even get there. I would tell him to suck it up and get on with it lol.
Yes I'm sure there is a chance but I would think it is greatly reduced.
My beautiful children are my life! Tommy 10 and Charlie 4 and Lily 1, Mummy loves you! xxx
Posted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 5:52 pm
I really don't know, I guess the sperm is still going in so it my be possible.... I might be wrong but does it not need the liquid that comes out too so they can "swim". Think you might be better getting him to just finish inside you, think you need to accept its not what he is used to and he clearly has an issue with it, if you stay relaxed and patient with him I think he must be able to get over it. If you go in all guns blazing and tell him to get over it now then I think it might make it a bigger issue for him. I know its maybe a bit un PC but give him a few beers lol make sure he is relaxed, once he does it once bet it will be problem solved good luck.
Posted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 11:28 pm
There's still a chance that way but far from the best chance.
Woman on top positions are not the best way to get pregnant(but better than your current situation) so may be worth doing this for a while so you can be in control and stay on so he can finish inside you. Maybe he'll get used to it that way.
Do you think he's just finding it tough to break old habits or there's some deep-rooted psychological issue for him?
Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 6:54 am
I'd say you don't stand a good chance at all , sperm are quite sensitive to the environment around them and there best chance for survival is to be 'deposited' in your ewcm up by your cervix, the seminal fluid doesn't ever make it through the cervix but the sperm swim into the cm and then when its at it's most fertile type (ewcm)around ov time it actually has a structure that guides them in the right direction and helps them swim through your cervix, so it's actually important for your OH to try and ejaculate while he's as close to your cervix as possible.
Just as an example my oldest daughter when her and her BF started trying they'd also used the withdrawal method for about 2yrs and she didn't get pregnant once, she then got pregnant when he forgot one night after they'd had a few drinks but she had a missed m/c, so they decide to try properly but like your OH he was so used to pulling away he was still doing it without even thinking, my DD didn't realise at first and a year later she still wasn't pregnant, she got very upset and they had a chat and he confessed what he'd been doing and asked if it would make a difference So after their chat he stopped doing it and she got pregnant that month (Yes she did tell me all this, she can be a bit TMI sometimes and her boyfriend was mortified when he found out I knew )
So for them it did stop her getting pregnant, of course there's still the chance the odd sperm might be in the right place as some come out with the mans natural lubricant but when you think a full ejaculation contains as many as 50 million sperm and of those on average only 40 will make it as far as the tubes and 20 of those will pick the wrong tube anyway then the odds aren't great for getting pregnant with just a few dozen sperm
I'd try Kaz's plan of being on top or maybe a few drinks to get him relaxed first as someone else suggested or missionary then you can grab him with your legs at the critical moment
It might be a hard habit to break but if you explain that you're never going to get pregnant with him doing it then maybe it will spur him on to try and stop
If he really can't get over it for some reason then when you're ovulating you'd be better off collecting the sample directly in a clean plastic pot (by a method not involving saliva as that kills sperm)and then buying some of the plastic syringes from amazon (or wherever) and using one of those to put the sperm right up near the cervix, some women whose OH's can physically always have sex do that and it can work quite well, Good luck xx
Posted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:40 am
I don't think you will have much chance to be honest, the sperm need the force of the ejaculation to be released right at the cervix to have a hope of getting through it and up to the egg. Thousands of sperm are killed off on their journey up there in the first place!
I honestly think the fact that he won't ejaculate in you is something going on in his mind and maybe he needs some counselling or something to get over that?? I don't want to scare you but my first though on reading this was 'boy this guy does not want a child!!' Are you absolutely sure a child is what he wants? he's not just agreeing with you because he doesn't want to lose you? I really hope that's not the case.
Don't go in all guns blazing but do some internet research and maybe find that program (I forget what its called) which shows the journey of the sperm to the egg and get him to watch it with you and he will see he has to ejaculate inside you to give yourselves every chance.
I hope you can get passed this hiccup, lots of luck x x