Posted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:08 am
Alowicious I think that's a great attitude to have and it sounds like you have a brilliant chance of a natural birth this time I really feel for you, with my breech baby I was getting the urge to push in theatre just as the spinal kicked in, if I could have jumped off the table at that point I would have, I also felt robbed of a natural birth and it can as you said take quite a while to reconcile with that xx
Although personally that particular phrase drives me nuts (coming form doctors) as it's one that doctors often seem to use as if to say women shouldn't complain if they didn't get their natural birth even if it was the docs fault but yes at the end of the day a healthy baby is a happy outcome but I don't think it's wrong to feel sad that you didn't get to deliver naturally or to be upset that you have a longer recovery and all that goes with that (although some docs will imply it is wrong to feel like that ),as I know from doing both that it is such a special experience which a c section planned or otherwise just can't compare with and for me personally in terms of recovery within literally a day with my natural births I felt human again but with the sections it was weeks because every time I did anything I would normally do I would end up in pain and I just found that very restrictive and depressing
Yeah I can see why that phrase would bug you lol!! It is true though
I feel very nervous about the whole birth thing again, but have decided that as my husband was more on the baby's side and not mine in the delivery room, I am getting a doula this time. I just want DH to hold my hand and be there for me to scream at lol!!!Not to side with the Dr and say come on hunny do the C-section think of the baby!!! I need the Doula to keep me focussed and breathing through the pain. The one I have booked was a midwife in the UK and is now a Doula in Dubai and I although she will not speak to the Drs or nurses for me where I deliver she will motivate me and help me through the whole thing. I am also not going to have too many scans this time as I was scanned nearly every two weeks from 30 weeks and feel that was too much. One week the Dr mentioned c-sec then the next week oh my the baby hasn't turned, and towards the end his head is not engaged. Well at the birth he had turned, his head was partly engaged and I got all the way to 10cms (damn that epidural!!! ) so I am pretty sure a natural birth would have been possible and the Dr basically just spent 10 weeks freaking me out - aarrgghh!!
Edited to add: Because I was so ill after the c-sec I felt like I missed out on being close with my baby for the first 6 weeks of his life, I was so focussed on what was wrong with me, the b*****rd Drs making me lie down on CT scan machine beds unaided when I could hardly move from the section, constant hospital appointments that disturbed baby's routine and stopped my DH from going to work, constant runs and feeling weak and then exhausted from lack of sleep. I even had my mum and dad staying with me but left most of the baby care to them. I swore I would never have another baby because of what had happened to me!! Never once did I blame my son, I blamed the hospital and the Drs and if I had been in the UK I probably would have sued them because it could only have been dirty equipment or staff not following protocol that could have made me ill and because of my illness I became depressed and didn't bond with my child for a while after.
All that because of a C-section!
38-PCOS, DH 47-VR Miracle BFP Xmas 2009! 2012 azoospermia
IVF#2 23/6/13 but instead shock BFP!!
Posted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 9:15 pm
Oh my goodness Alowicious, that sounds awful! I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience I’m hoping to have the ‘au natural’ experience too, although you are right, having a healthy baby counts for everything, I do think you can mourn the birth experience that you didn’t have though, I kept it in my mind that 100 years ago myself and baby probably wouldn’t have made it!
Keltru, I agree about the scans being wrong, I’m going to take them with a pinch of salt
Cleggy, 65 hours!!! Blimey!!!! The biggest factor for me is that they don’t leave me for the length of time that they did last time before doing something proactive…
Hayley, I spoke to a midwife about being monitored and she said that if I labour normally then no monitoring is necessary. If I’m induced with a pessary they monitor you for the first 30 mins and once more thereafter and providing everything is ok, they don’t need to monitor you again. If you are induced by drip then constant monitoring is required which in my case wouldn’t happen as the drip isn’t an option for me.
Bobski, Sounds like you went through the mill too! You poor thing!! Having major surgery is the bg thing that’s putting me off an elective section, things can go wrong and even it if goes well you still have the recovery to cope with…. I am taking your advice and going to go with the flow
DL05, your reasons for not wanting to work in the midwifery field are similar to those reasons why I do not wish to work in the NHS mental health field, as I have seen how restricted it is based on red tape and budgets… Its such a shame that the NHS don’t question or look for alternative methods to situations that could be managed better, in this case, inductions and c-sections. I felt that the midwives knew how my birth would end up, I could see it on their faces and each time the consultant came in to review me, they knew I would be an emergency section, but it was though there was nothing they could do about it…
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and advice. I had my antenatal class on Friday and the midwife was fantastic, so much more informative than the class I had the first time round and I now understand why I ended up with a section. I spoke to her after the class and expressed my concerns about my situation and she was so supportive and offered so much advice that made sense!
I'm going to wait and see what my next scan 'shows' and hopefully opt for a 'natural birth' but write a full birth plan which gives me total control so if I'm feeling that things aren't progressing I can address the situation myself. I'm only going to go for a pessary induction, no drip as its unlikely anyway for a VBAC.
Keeping my fingers crossed that I labour naturally and can give birth as nature intended instead of out the sunroof!!!xxx