Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 11:00 am
Post subject: grandparents
does any one else have parents that really couldnt care less about their grandchildren??
i think its me she cant be bothered with more than anything but im sick to death of feeling like she couldnt care less about them.. my mum lives 5 minutes away in the car and while yes shes got 3 kids (8,6 and 5) surely that made me thought shed want to see them more.. when we both had boys 4 months apart i thought she would want them to grow up friends..
i just feel like theres no connection with them at all.. and my mum makes no effort.. yet shes all over facebook about how much she loves kids and looks after her friends kids all the time but has never offered to look after mine in 5 years...
they dont suffer cos we are very close to my in laws so they have their nana and grandad and great nana.. my dad tends to visit once a week/fortnight.
it just infuriates me so much!
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:17 pm
I really feel for children who have family that don't give a damn.
We are very lucky that Flick's grandparents are in her life so much and there is so much love
It is my brother and sister that don't seem to care. We see them once every few months and the time in between they never text or anything to see how Flick is but when we see them they are all over her - well my sister is, my brother doesn't seem bothered and Flick hardly knows them so doesn't tend to be too friendly and she gets a bit cautious xx
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:18 pm
My kids nana and grandad dnt bother they probe see kids about 3 times a year and the kids hav no connection with them, my youngest dnt even know who they are. I think its disgusting, my eldest is realising that they dnt bother and it upsets her.
When I was in hosp pregnant with my second I was 35+2 and I was really ill I had an infection and I had to be induced. My eldest daughter was at nursery and my dh rushed to the hospital he called his mam to ask her to pick our daughter up from nursery but she wudnt call work to tell them she wasn't coming in (she works as a cleaner for 3 hours a day). My mam was on hop so I cudnt ask her and my nana was in hosp having chemo, so she totally left us in the lurch and give us so much more to worry about. I'll never forget that!
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:46 pm
My parents do a lot for all their grand kids but don't interfere either. My in-laws don't bother really with my children and only see them for their birthday/Christmas and Easter gifts! They only live less than 10 miles away. Unfortunately some parents like it when their kids flee the nest and enjoy their own time.
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 3:02 pm
Unfortunately for us both sets of parents live 4/5hrs away - 10miles away from each other - completely fluke and not the best!
My mum and dad adore my kids and would see us every week if we could, sadly we can't so only see them a few times a year but we're always on the phone or skype.
Pauls family act very disinterested. Every time we visit it's never a big thing, it's just like we saw them yesterday so we just sit doing nothing in their very unchildproof house. They never ring/text asking about us or the kids. Christmas last year angered me so much - they bought so much for Isabelle and so little for George - mostly clothes 3yrs older than him. It's a big big shame.
Sadly I visited home recently with a friend for us to have a mini holiday and got moaned at behind my back by text to Paul over why I didn't visit his mum. Apparently me taking a friend to Blackpool means I should have left her with my family for an afternoon at least to go and see them. Bleh.
However today we got a parcel from them, very nice but came with a card saying "To Isabelle on her first day of school" with a lunch box and school bag and a pencil case for George so he wasn't forgotten. She isn't starting school until next year, we explained this is preschool. Shows how much they listen.
I'd love to live closer to my family, but for 2yrs we lived just around the corner to Paul's and barely saw/spoke to them so nothing has changed there. Heyho. Roll on when we have enough money for a honeymoon, my kids will be holiday-ing with my folks for a few nights for the first time ever
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 6:00 pm
My boys are very close to my mum but my dad who lives closer than my mum has seen Ry once since he was born and that was only because he came to Harrys party. Im not bothered, he has his own life to live, Im not chasing after someone who cant be bothered.
DH parents live about 90 minutes drive away and they complain about that because they dont drive. Not my problem but then I wouldnt want them on the doorstep as I dont always see eye to eye with my FIL.
I do laugh at my grandmother though. She lives 5 minutes drive away, whinges to everyone over the way I bring my kids up, but when she met Ry for the first time couldnt give a rats ass. Oh and for his birthday, Harry had a teatowel with a picture of pig on it with a card that just said happy birthday from nanna and grandpop. No love you, or kisses! She thinks the sun shines out my sisters backside though and loves her 3 kids. Again, I dont care. I refuse to visit her because she is so rude and cold hearted and slags me off to everyone. Im the trouble maker in my family even though I havent done anything. Oh apart from sticking up for things I believe in like respect!
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 6:24 pm
My mum kicked me out at 16.. Took 2 years to try and build a relationship up and she's slowly destroying it again.. Problem is my 2 boys love her house (full of kids stuff) but she's always out so we can never visit at the weekend's.. When she comes to us its only cos I live closer to school than her if one of my sisters are at after school clubs.. She doesn't interact with the kids at all and then tells me what I'm doing wrong even though she doesn't take the time to know them... Then she'll open her mouth and tell me about something very similar she's done.. It's always about her.. My oh gets really mad about it cos his family are so involved and my mum doesn't seem interested at all.. But there's no point talking to her cos she'll only take offense and won't see them at all..
Today was Charlie's first day at school but when I went to pick him up she was there telling everyone how he was her grandson etc when she wouldn't normally bother..
Sorry for rantinf.. I should be grateful she's around at all... X
Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:14 am
I can completely sympathise with you RachN3Babies!! My mum is exactly the same! She is so wrapped up in her own life that she forgets other parts of her other life!! She told me when I was pg with Jacob that she had, had her children & that she wouldn't be looking after him (which she hasn't to this day & he is over 14 months)
She lives a 15min drive from me & never makes the effort to come see us. It really gets me down as I don't have any other family around me & she doesn't support. When we do see her she will ask after us then quickly change the subject onto her! She doesn't even work so its not like she has massis to do with her life!!
It's so nice to be able so share this as has been driving me mad! It really annoys my partner as he see's how much it upsets me!
Sending hugs hun as it is hard, but we are doing amazing jobs as mum's & we only have ourselves to thank for that xxx
Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:05 pm
We're very lucky - we live 30 minutes from my parents and 10 minutes from my OH's. My parents adore the girls - they looked after Izzy when I was at work on one day and she goes to sleep there fairly frequently (she asks to go!!!) - they spoil her but don't let her misbehave and they are already making a big fuss of Eden. My OH's parents are also great although not quite as interested but they also looked after Izzy when I was at work and have her odd days in our holidays as well (we're both teachers). My Mum says that although she didn't retire to be a childminder for me (which I don't expect her to be), she and my Dad love having the opportunity to spend time with and spoil their grandchildren. It's a shame when grandparents aren't interested
Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:49 pm
She's just getting worse haha. I feel so grateful I can rant somewhere.. Can't vent to oh cos we fall out about it.. He's always been very vocal about the fact he. Doesn't like her..
2 of her children are in the infant school with my son.. And she will show off making a big show of looking in the pram at home time.. And won't actually even speak to me.. The other day she walked up to the school with me and as soon as we got there went to talk to a different Mum.. That didn't bother me but when she walked past to go to where her children come out she didn't even bother to say bye.. We were at my sisters 8th birthday party on Sunday and she only spoke to me as we got there and as we left.. I wouldn't mind her not speaking to me but she barely acknowledged her grandchildren either yet kept another child on her knee the whole time... Silly little things like that.. Feel like I'm constantly making an effort and getting nowhere... X