My poor Hubby...

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Leitia
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Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:31 pm 
Post subject: My poor Hubby...
Heya Ladies,

Today is the 11th anniversary of the death of my husbands Little boy, Joe he was nearly 2 years old and him and his mum were tragically killed in a hit and run.

Jas is holding up well but i can see it is obviously really hard on him, it seems to have gotten easier for him to deal with it over the years, i just wish i could make it all better for him, But as Jas didnt get along with his sons mums family they never told him where he was buried, so Jas has never been able to go and visit or put him to rest in his own mind.

Next year on what would have been his 13th birthday Me, Jas and the children are going to plant a tree in memory of him, so that we all have somewhere we can go and pay our respects,

Bit of a pointless post really, i guess i just needed to get it off my chest so it isnt all inside, although i was never blessed to have known Joe, he will always have a huge place in my heart along with my own babies.

Huge hugs and tons of love to you all
Xx
sophie2008
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Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 11:09 pm 
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So sorry for your hubby's loss, and it must be hard on you too- seeing your OH so sad. Hugs to you all.
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asupastar
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Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 12:05 am 
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Oh dear thats really sad,
It must be a struggle my oh only gets to see his son when his mum is in a good mood (so now we r taking her to court) it would break him if he completely loss him and couldn't even visit the grave. Thats disgusting is there no one with a heart/conscience in that family to tell them where the little boy is buried? Would the registry of births/deaths and marriges not have a record of where he was buried or checking with funeral directors in that area and trying to trace back to around the time he died? It sounds crazy and if you haven't already exhausted every avenue then its maybe worth a go. Things like this remind me how mean people can be just for the hell of it - there's nothing to be gained by not telling him,

I feel really bad for your oh and your family, but the tree is a great idea.

Take care Axx
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Floop
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Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 11:38 am 
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what a sad story and shame on the family for not letting him know where his own son is buried.

As someone has already mentioned, look for him do, whatever you can to trace him. I think if anything else it will help your oh no end to have somewhere to go and make peace.

My thoughts are with your family.
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mlc5
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Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 10:02 pm 
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aww big hugs to your family, so sad they wont let him know where he is buried Sad take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Suezz
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 6:11 pm 
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Hey...

I lost my partner 11 years ago when our Son was 6 months old...

Hardest journey I have ever had, and still carry the sadness inside, particulary when I see him in my Son....

I have brought my Son up on my own, and met someone recently and just discovered I am pregnant again! Both overjoyed... BUT how high is my anxiety!!! Jeez! SOOOO scared this will happen again...

BUT the point of my post is to say how lucky your fella is too have some one as understanding as you who gives him the space to breathe, greive and love again...
xxxx
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MrsSpringer
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:13 am 
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Aww thats so sad, to not tell the the daddy where his son is burried, thats really aweful.

My thoughts are with you all at this sad time, i can only imagine what your poor husbands going through Sad
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ClairaBell
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 3:22 pm 
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Leitia, I know it has been a month, but I hope Jas is ok. xxx
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Leitia
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 5:20 pm 
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Heya Claire,

Jas is doing fine thank you, he says although it will always hurt it gets easier each year to remember only the few good years.

we did try looking for where he was buried, but the name Jason had for him wasnt on any lists...well not ones that matched his age etc, we tried looking under his mums name but again nothing, so we think maybe he had a different surname...i will never give up looking though.

I did make me wonder though (knowing how nasty the Grand parents could be) that maybe Joe didnt die but they told Jas he did so he would leave them alone...after Joes mum passed they would have become his legal guardian...it makes me sick to think anyone could be so cruel...but it would answer why we cant find any record of him Sad

thank you all for your messages though
Xx
wendy131
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 3:56 pm 
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You`ve probably already done it but have you based searches on his mothers name, because of his age any newspaper articles would probably have omitted his name, also if he was buried with his mum then he wouldn`t neccessarily be on any burial records by name, also have you checked these free online family tree things, lots of people are doing them nowadays and a family member may have started one

Hopefully one day you will find the truth xxxx
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BabyWife
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:09 am 
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Hi
Im so sorry to hear what happened, I think it is really unfair about not telling him where his son is buried, I think it is a lovely idea about the tree.
Take care xxx
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