To Work or Not to Work...

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CE1
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Joined: 16 Jan 2008
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Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 1:46 pm 
Post subject: To Work or Not to Work...
Hi - this is my first time ever using this site...

My baby was born in the summer, and I'm planning to return end of Jan full time, the reason being that I have a very high level job, and if I chose to go back part time, I'd end up doing full time hours, not to mention the added stress. Why I am going back??? I've worked hard to to get to where I am in my career and there are elements of my job that I love (and bits that I also loath...), and feel I'd be letting my employers down if I don't go back as I'm due to return in a few weeks as I've kept in touch all through my maternity leave, however in the same vein, I adore my baby, and realistically when I go back I won't see baby at all during the week - this absolutely breaks my heart.

The added burden is that I've already arranged childcare at home, and the minder is scheduled to start next week - and will be costing me a small fortune. So putting this into context, the childminder will be having the pleasure of raising my little baby in a stress free environment, whilst I'll be busting my guts out - with an financial outcome that equates to being on the same salary after tax etc...as the childminder, having deducting her salary, tax and NI from mine each month, and I'd only have the weekends with baby.

The childminder has already made a few visits, and I get so upset afterwards that my husband has said that if I wish, I should give up work, and realistically it wouldn't have a huge impact on our current lifestyle - trouble is I feel I disloyal to both employer (they'd been really good) and childminder if I made decision to stay at home at this stage, and I may regret giving up my job now, and may find idifficult pursuing my career when baby gets older.

In my heart I want to spend more time with my son - and I suppose it is a "no brainer" and I should simply stay at home, I'd welcome any feedback and if anyone else is experiencing the same or similar problem.

From a very confused mummy!
dollychops2
AskBaby Legend
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Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Posts: 5119
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Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:21 pm 
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Dont go back!!!

Your obviously not ready to or even want to and i think if your honest you will just be doing it out of guilt for your employer and childminder.

Sometimes youve got to think about number one and do what makes you happy. Which sounds lik staying at home and bringing up your baby boy.

Keeep in touch and let me know wat you decide xx
Charlplusbabies
AskBaby Star
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Joined: 25 Sep 2007
Posts: 2368
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Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:55 pm 
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totally understand what u mean when u say uve worked hard to get where u are, im in the same position - my partner wants more children but im just gaining my career. ive worked my ass off for 4 years to get to where i am now

BUT at the same time, your post reads as your doing it souly because your thinking about your employer and childminder. BALLS TO THEM AND WHATTHEY THINK. your a mum now, priorities in life change when you become a parent. they wouldnt think bad of you because you wanted to be a stay at home mummy - thats beatuiful.
only you can make the decision,but take away your employer and childminder, and think about what you want. and what you think is best for baby. is mony really that important that youve got to do this to yourself??
you've obviously got a very loving huband who is willing to support whatever decision you make.

really hope your ok.
dont worry about other people or what they think. think about yourself and your baby boy.
CT xx
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