struggling with emotions

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vodcal
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Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 7:18 pm 
Post subject: struggling with emotions
I'm new on here.
we recently had to terminate our first pregnancy at 12 weeks due to our baby having anencephaly. It was so hard even hough we know it was the right this to do.
I find it really hard to not cry whenever i try and talk about it or even think about it.
we have been told we should be able to start trying again in a few weeks but i am really scared it will happen agin and i dont think i can handle it if it did
I was just wondering if anyone has been through any similar experience?
Roisin1978
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Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 8:06 pm 
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Hi, I am so sorry for your loss and to having to make the decision to terminate a pregnancy that was so wanted, I'm sure you are both devastated!! I had a m/c just over 5wks ago so I know how it feels to have to let go of the baby you thought you were gonna see grow up. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you hun. xxx
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wriggler2008
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 9:39 am 
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hey chick i unfortunately had to terminate a pregnancy at 18 weeks for my little girl (jamie) as she had turners syndrome and because of this she had fetal hydrops, oedema and cystic hygroma. the consultant basically said that she wouldnt survive much longer so we made that awful decsion as we didnt want out little girl in pain. it broke out hearts to do it and i still break my heart about it every now and again. the pain never goes away but you do learn to live with it. i understand ur fears of future pregnancies. we had out genes tested to see if it came from us but it turned out it was a blip of nature and that for it happening twice to us its like lightning striking twice in the same place! after jamie i unfortunately went on to lose another baby at 5 weeks BUT then i got pregnant about 4 months later (i left myself time to heal after losing 2 babies) in dec 2007 and my lovely healthy baby boy was born on august 22nd this year! and as u can see hes perfectly healthy! there is light at the end of the tunnel chick! did they tell u its more likely to happen again?

i really wish u all the best of luck you are so strong for dealing with this!
vodcal
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:36 pm 
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We are to see the consultant in a few weeks once they have finished the tests on the baby. hopefully that will give us an idea if it is likely or not.
keeping our fingers crossed. i think its hard because of christmas and my sil is due to give birth in a week. we havent told the family as i think it would be unfair to cause upset when we should be celebrating.
I can't believe how many people have had such sad losses. It's heartbreaking. But at the same time comforting to know there are people here i can talk to who understand.
It's good to hear the positive outcomes too. Gives hope to others.
xx
hopefulmummyliz
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:51 am 
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Hiya,
Your not on your own- its surprising how many people suffer losses- we had to terminate our first... at 22 wk. cos scan showed a bladder obstruction- very rare blip of nature! It was a heartbreaking decision, but knew we had done the right thing when we saw how swollen his tummy was! That was 4 months ago now and I still cry over him most days and i visit his grave every day.
really want to get pregnant (or be pregnant now) as my friend is getting married in sep and my baby was meant to be a page boy with other friend's baby- she's had hers but no luck for me! don't think i will be able to cope with the wedding without baby!
Liz
xxx

OOOO0
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:01 pm 
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Hi Ladies I just wanted to say how sorry Iam for the pain of your losses you are going through. My pain although not so raw is still and will always be there. Sending you Love and hope you find the strength to get through and will one day experience the happiness of a new baby.
God Bless all our Angels
Hugs Clairex
Jbab
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Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:23 pm 
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Hi. I just wanted to say that you are not alone at this sad and difficult time. We have just had to terminate (on Saturday) our little boy at 22 weeks due to a severe heart defect. We both knew it was the right decision but it doesn't make it hurt any less. We have also suffered two early miscarriages in the past but also have two beautiful and healthy children. It was just a blip of nature. However, despite all the worry I am hoping when my health is regained we will try again but will probably never completely relax. We are all thinking of you at this sad time.
xx
pips1
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Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:53 pm 
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So sorry for your losses ladies. That decision is such a hard one. I cant say I know exactly what that is like as the decision was taken out of our hands, when at 36 weeks, my little man's heart stopped beating. My heart aches so much sometimes, and that was 18 months ago now - though it feels like yesterday. My little boy starts school in september and the thought of him growing up, and not being able to conceive another when all my friends around me are pregnant is so hard. I pray that we all have our own little ones very very soon; With love to all PIpsxx
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BabyWife
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Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 3:03 pm 
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Hi
Im so sorry ladies for the loss, I know there is nothing anyone can say or do to take the pain away, Just remember we are all here if you need to chat or anything.
Take care
xx
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