Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:05 am
Post subject: Never posted in here before.
Never posted in here before but here's my story...
I got pregnant in March '07, it wasn't exactly planned but we weren't being careful and myself and oh were delighted when we found out (even though I was only 17 at the time). We had our m/w's appt and she calculated I was 10wks gone (this was 2wks after my bfp). 3weeks later I went for our routine 12wk (little late) scan and found out the baby had died at 8 weeks, when I worked it out the baby had died 3days before I found out I was pg. I had to get a d/c. Fair to say we were truely heartbroken.
After 7months of ttc, I got pregnant again in October '08 but sadly, again, at 5+6 I m/c again.
I know lots of women have been through this, and I'd like to ask..
Did you ever feel like "oh it'll never happen and if it does I'll just lose it again" or.. Did you ever feel it made you less of a woman or that you had let your oh down ?
I have and still do, I cry for both my babies sometimes as my first child was due to be born on Christmas day '07, so Christmas day '08 was heartbreaking as I knew it would maybe (if born on time) would of been our child first birthday. And I would have been due to go for my 12wk scan soon with 2nd, I can't help thinking about it but OH doesn't think it's good for me.xx
Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:44 am
Ashley, I didn't want to leave this unanswered. I have no experience with this, and I can't begin to understand the hurt that you feel.
I also think that it is good to cry, as it helps to get those pent up emotions out. Sometimes emotions have a way of taking over our lives because we are fearful of letting them out.
I believe that your 2 babies are watching over you, and you will meet them someday. And they will be so proud of you. xxxx
After 3 and half years of ttc, tests being clear and unable to adopt, we have decided to become a patchwork family. Me, my hubby and stepchildren.
Its so sad to know I will never hear the word 'Mommy'.x
Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 3:04 pm
Hi - I too had two miscarriages one after the other. I went for 12 week scan with the first and was told that it had died probably around 6 weeks. I was offered an early scan with the next pregnancy but unfortunately when they scaned me at 8 weeks that baby too had died. However, I went on to have my daughter (now 6) without any problems. The only thing the consultant recommended I tried was low dose aspirin which I took until 35 weeks pregnant. BUT that was only on the doctors recommendation so please don't take before checking!!! All I am really trying to say is don't despair, it does make you paranoid but hopefully your next pregnancy will go just fine. x
Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:45 pm
Ashley, Im so sorry to hear of your losses - and how sad you are right now. We too have lost babies at various times, and I can truely sympathise with all your feelings. I also know our oh's usually just want the best for us, and worry about us if they know there is nothing they can do to fix it.
We lost a little boy august 07, and it still feels like yesterday. I do sometimes worry that Im still grieving from this loss, and I guess what Im trying to say is that it is normal to grieve....and healthy....but if you or anyone else who has lost, including myself, feel that the grief is too much to bear, maybe it would be helpful to talk to someone. I have often considered this, as I now feel that I cant imagine having a healthy baby anymore (had two m/c s since we lost Harry), and I feel that my positivity has been drained away. Only you can know how you are feeling, and whether you are coping, but if not, then it might help to talk to a someone with experience in this and can maybe help you to come to terms with everything you have been through.
Of course you havent let anyone down - but again, I can truely sympathise with what you are feeling.
My heart goes out to you hun, and my thoughts are with you. Your little ones are always with you in your heart, and Im sure they know how much they are loved.
Big hugs Pipsxx