Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 11:58 am
I honestly feel like I am about to have a breakdown. I cant believe how much this is taking over my life! I am a positive thinking person, who believes everything happens for a reason but with this it is so all consuming I am really struggling.
We have been trying for 5 months now and we suffered a miscarriage on 2nd Dec. We are trying again but all I seem to be able to control is taking ovulation tests and taking pregnancy tests. I cant do anything in between and it is frustrating me so much. What if there is something wrong with me and it takes me months to find out and then we have to start looking at alternatives?
I spent Hogmanany with my DH's 7 friends and their wives (3 of whom are pregnant) and it was all I could do not to scream at them that it is easy for them to say "Be patient" they are all preggers! (None of them know about miscarriage - so not totally insensitive).
I just want to be happy and settled - and I am so worried this is going to cause major probs between me and hubby (it hasnt yet - but if I am being so crazy just now - surely he will begin to notice soon!).
Anyway - rant over - just need to vent and everyone close to me has babies so they dont know how this feels.
Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:24 pm
Post subject: to kylie
Its releiving to know that thre are many like me... My husband and I love eachother from 7 years... We never lived together or made love before marriage... but I uess I know him so well and he knows me so well that we are sooo ready for a family... Maybe thast what is keeping us under pressure 24/7. By the way I'm from Jerusalem. We had fun.. lots of it.. over christmas... I too remembered what love making is all about.. but for example... I got my pms on the 26th.. and now should be the time of ovulation... I'm back to work and so is he... He works night and I mornings.. we see each other from 5:30 pm- 10:30 pm every day. and we always make love during those hours.... I mean I lay down after for 1/2 an hour and still no pregnancy... Next month I will get some extra money added to my salary from nsurance.... I'm really thinking about using that money to get some help.. You know what really kills me.. every time I see some old friends or some ppl from the family, they always say "Oh you're not pregnant yet" Why? This itslef is depressing... All my friends who got married at the same time I did, are either pregnant oralready moms. I;m sorry to sound so awful.
I wanted to ask what ttc means? You wrote it in your reply to my post. Sorry, I'm kind of new at this.
I just wanted to let you know that u realy gave me courage to let everything out... I'm really in need of solutions... Thanks so much!
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:39 pm
Post subject: Wow - I'm not on my own afterall
We've been TTC since just after our Wedding in October last year. We found each other late in life, he's 41 and I'm 39 (40 in May). I've been on the pill for so long now I don't care to remember, all that time trying not to get pregnant and here I am in floods of tears all the time cos I can't seem to. I have so much going against me, Ovarian Cists, Age, Weight... Been to the docs today after having blood tests, said she will refer me but doubts they will accept me cos of my age and weight. Felt so small and such a failure!. I've thought about buying a Ovulation Kit but am gonna try the BBT(Thermometer) first. I haven't had a period since just after the wedding so not sure where I stand with my cycle. It's so hard as you all know, everything around me at the moment revolves around babies.
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:08 am
Post subject: The Latest
Ladies out there, don't always throw the blame on your self or on your partner...
I have been married for a year and 3 months and nothing yet...
Lately My husband and I decided to make some more tests,, which outcame as follows...
My body is perfectly healthy and ready for pregnancy, but as for my husband... he made an ultra sound and it turns out that there are these teeny tiny little veins that wrap a man's testicles (r not visible by the human eye) that decrease and sometimes kill the sperm. SO just to make sure... he went also to make a sperm count and it turned out to be low... so now the next step is that my hun is going to have this little operation, and the doctor says that soon enough we should be seeing positive results. So do some extra tests and see where the road takes you! Stay away from cigarettes and alcohol and get hooked on veggies and fruits... Get healthy walk half an hour per day... renew your routine life.. think positive.. think of those moms who are unable to bare children at all... God is giving us chances,,, take those chances...I am thinking positive.... I love children and I can't wait to bare a child but just never say "Oh God I have a Problem, say Problem, I have God!!!!!" trust me faith is most important! God bless you all.. Be strong ladies.. All my love and courage!
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:36 pm
I too am a newcomer to all this although sadly not a newcomer to TTC. Myself and my partner have been trying for seven months. We both have had all the test (sperm test, hysterosalpingogram (checking your tubes in lay mans terms), blood test etc ete) as I was diagnosed with mild endometriosis when I was 21. I am 31 now and the doctors feel all my test are normal and the endometriosis has not worsened and therefore is not part of the problem those of my partner and therefore we should just keep trying.
Its is very frustrating and I understand completely the pain and despair you feel every month when your period arrives. I to have a friend who is ready to deliver who was two months pregnant when I started trying and another who had a child around the time that I started trying. You do feel like everyone and everything around you is baby orientated and the fact that I work in a hospital close to the labour ward does not help especially on the day my period arrives.
However on a postitive note I have a very supportive partner and although he does not completely understand the tears he keeps me grounded and optimistic about a situation which could be very sad. Its funny because I was not sure about trying initially and it took me a while to stop thinking of all the practicallities and go for something I always knew I wanted but kept waiting for the right time, right partner (you know the scenario) but now I am desperate and will try anything (even handstands after sex if I have too).
I took the plunge this month spend £100 (as I said I will do anything!!!!) on the clearblue easy fertilty monitor and I am keeping my fingers, toes and anything else crossed that it will happen. I think this forum is great (if you are like me and have chosen not to tell your friends and family that you are trying for fear they will add to your stress every month) it means you can read other peoples views and realise you are not mad, crazy, bonkers you are just a women desperate to do what everyone else around you seems to be doing soooooooo easily.
My advice is to stay as positive as you can, do things to take you mind away from it but also know when you are ovulating. They reckon stress is a big factor so take it easy, so I am working on not getting stressed for now. I am sure it will happne for all of us!!!!!! Best wishes x