Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:55 am
Post subject: Who would have thought it could be so hard???
I'm now 30 weeks pregnant and unfortunately not with my babies dad.
He has been stressing me out lately with names, i'm trying really hard to comprimise but him and his family like Josh and I really don't
Also he says if the baby doesn't take his surname he will be heartbroken and not feel as close to him.
I have made no final decisions on the subject but he is set in his mind I have decided to use my surname which leads to arguments all the time.
Do you think the final decision should be left to me under these circumstances, I have tried but can't seem to reason with him????
Also is it fair for the baby to take my surname and not his?? I just feel like giving in to him just to make him happy.
Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:00 am
due to my circumstances...my babys dad has not attempted to make any contact in the last 6 week to see how badly he had harmed me and baby....and with this in mind my baby will have my surname...my choice of name...not the one we picked together...he will not be at the birth and will not be named on the birth certificate...i thinks its completly your decision hun...dont feel pressured by any one into doing anything you feel will be less than perfect for you and baby...cos at the end of the day...your the people that count...xxx
Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:03 am
Heya, I can understand where your coming from as I too am not with my babies dad.
Im going to name my baby with my surname even if my ex starts moaning about it.
It all depends on how involved with the baby his is, how about using both your surnames?
At the end of the day your carrying the baby and if he isnt going to be around much, why let him control how your naming your child?
I do have a friend whose surname is acombination of both her parents as well.
Or you coud compromise, you choose the first + middle names and ur ex can have the surname or sumthing like that, dont choose a name for your baby you dont like just to please him, a name is a life long thing lol =]
im sorry your having so much trouble
hopes it works out for you
Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:12 am
Hey thanks for your replies. I think he is in it for the long haul but has been so unreasonable, all i've wanted is a cuddle and not had one since December lol.
I don't want to hurt or upset him but the way he's making me feel i've had to distance myself.
I thought about bout of our surnames but they are really long and a combination sounds silly.
I think maybe some time away from him will help me decide, I think I will concentrate on his first name then worry about the surname.
Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:42 am
I gave my ex that argument and he said its his baby so how dare I even think about giving him another mans name!
It's hard because I don't want to upset him but thinking about other people all the time is doing my head in, we chose Ashton as him first name and now his family don't like it so he wants a rethink. Grrrrrrrrr. Are you settled with your babies name now??
Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:06 am
My baby will also have my surname and my choice of first name. I know it doesnt really matter, but for me, I dont want to be taking my baby to school, doctors, on holiday etc and him having a different surname to me.
I am not with the Father and he has said he is having nothing to do with it so I dont have to argue with anyone about it though!
Ps..I absolutely love the name Ashton, think it is great!! Could you compromise and give him Joshua as a middle name??
Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:15 am
I think I like the name Ashton to. But don't really want to upset his family as i've only met them once and they all seemed really nice.
I feel the same about the surname, it would be nice if he shared mine. I feel loads of pressure to give him his dads though.
But I think everyone is right when they say its really upto me and will affect me the most.
I'm hoping it will get abit easier once little one is here. xx