depression.

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missanimal
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:42 am 
Post subject: depression.
Hi, Im 10 weeks preggers and have been having a really hard time. I think I have actually gone quite crazy. I know that pregnancy can bring on the water works for a lot of women, but I am going really hysterical, crying so hard that I nearly collapse and cant breathe any more. I feel so desperately unhappy and I just dont know why. My poor husband doesnt know what to do or say as Im inconsolable. Our baby was planned, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant I didnt really care. Im so tired and just want to feel happy. Im feeling really guilty and keep having to pretend all the time as people think I should be really happy to be having a baby, when all I want to do is crawl into bed and hide away. I know deep down I want the baby, but it all seems so overwhelming and I just dont know what to do.
Im just so worried and unhappy. I feel as though Ive got postnatal depression before Ive even had the baby. If Im this bad now, what will I be like after the birth! If I cant hardly bring myself to think of the baby I just dont know how Im going to like it let alone love it when its born.
I just wondered if anyone else has felt like this or am I alone in my terrible thoughts?
mrswolfbane
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:49 am 
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u can have depression in pregnancy ive had it and i have it now so its nothing to be ashamed of.

you need to be honest with people about how u feel or they wont know anything is wrong and wont be able to help you at all.

im going to a place for pregnant mothers with depression for taking therapy i can take anti depressants if i need to and so can u after 12 weeks if u need to.after the baby is born ive asked for a longer hospital stay to help me bond with this baby as i struggled with my other 2 then il go to a place for mums and babies to see how im coping and how im bonding.

the best thing is that i have support from my partner and my family and the midwife etc.... shes helped me to see theres nothing to be ashamed of in her words "u wudnt be ashamed to be diabetic so why be ashamed to have depression its as much an illness as any other u just cant see it"

i know u feel like hiding away but isolating ur self makes it worse and u really need to talk to ur fella and family and doctor and midwife they will understand if u say the truth.if u show u want to feel better which im sure u that u do they can help u.

good luck huny xxxx
gingin
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:31 pm 
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hi, missanimal, i read your email and although i cannot relate to severe depression i am also 10 weeks, i was very low before xmas, i even asked my partner what my point on the planet was ! well actually i didnt ask it was more shout/scream !! i was really really angry - angry at everyone and i didnt really know why ! obviously all has become clear now but i just wanted to say its good to talk and this website is very very helpful and although you dont meet the girls etc its just a relief to know you are "normal" even though you dont feel it
the only other thing i will say is never underestimate talking to a professional - I had councilling years ago and at the time i was stunned that I (miss togetherness) was in this situation but the bottom line was i needed it and it helped - talk to your doctor and find out more - it takes a very strong person to ask for help it takes an even stronger person to accept it -you can get help so dont keep struggling - take care XX
cardea
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:53 am 
Post subject: Depression and anxiety
Hello - i just wanted to let you know that you are not on your own and you are not abnormal.
I had a miscarriage 4 years ago and i could'nt understand why i was so depressed and having major panic attacks constantly when i found out i was pregnant again at the begininig of July. I honestly could not deal with being physically pregnant. I have been seeing a physchotherapist privately for 'cognitive behavoural therapy' since about week 10 of my pregnancy and she has helped me understand that there is nothing abnormal in the way i was thinking and that alot other women do feel the same levels of doubt - they just don't shout about it !. I just thought that all pregnant women were meant to be happy and as everyone around me was overjoyed it made me feel even worse ! I am now 35 weeks pregnant and i still have moments of doubt about the change to come and the new life role i will be taking on as a mother, but it has really helped me understand that alot of women feel out of depth and it's okay !

Good luck X
gingin
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:06 am 
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you know the bottom line is that no-one can prepare you for pregnancy or the new life after it - but its what we are all here to do apparently - its interesting because its our modern lifestyles that are dictating the "fallout" - lets face it our diets are shot to pieces thanks to ready foods etc and all the rubbish that gets put into even the healthy stuff apparently like the fruit and veg - most of us are extremely busy people and our other halfs are also - people are struggling plain and simple with life - not sleeping well has a huge impact - its no wonder that pregnancies nowadays involve councellors and professional medical people to help really - I am for one a born worrier and even if theres nothing to worry about i will find something - no matter how trivial !! just becuase things are going ok so far i am convincing myself that maybe i am not pregnant or the baby isnt alive etc - its ridiculous really my grandmother never had a scan for goodness sake !! but this is the way modern life is - information is too easy these days and i have elected not to know all the ins and outs of pregnancy - i dont really want books with graphic illustrations or watch documentaries about it, i trust those around me and will deal with it as it happens - for now i know that after August me /our life will never be the same again and the new chapter is the circle of my life - so during my pregnancy i will be selfish a little - LOOK AFTER YOURSELVES and remember to TALK to someone XXX
missanimal
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:51 am 
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Glad to know that there is some support out there! I meet my midwife for the 1st time this week so I will have a talk with her about how I feel. Until then I shall just keep chomping on my new addiction of apples. Thanks for the reply guys!
mrswolfbane
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:50 pm 
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same as me then animal im a fruit addict and ul be pleased to know fruit lifts ur mood esp banannas as daft as it sounds it really is true im lucky i love all kinds of fruit.
gingin
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 1:23 pm 
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i have got into oranges big style - but they have to be just right !! being the fussy bird i am !
doing nanas also
you know our moods arent helped by the fact its January which is always a depressing month pregnant or not and the sodding weather - am craving sunshine !!
mrswolfbane
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 1:26 pm 
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sunshine will be a good thing for mood aswell i think
Archie1
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Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:01 pm 
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I have suffered from depression in the past quite severely and was worried when I became pregnant whether I could handle the mood swings and hormonal changes. I'd had a miscarriage before and was petrified from the start! I have it in my special care instructions for the medical team to be aware of pre natal and post natal depression which kind of reassures me that people will be keeping an eye out for me.
When I was around 10-12 weeks I went through a really difficult time where I was convinced the baby was dead, wouldn't accept that it could be all right and said some awful things to my hubby about me not wanting it anyway. Looking back now (at 16 weeks) I feel like it was a different person doing all that stuff and I put it down to the hormones going a bit mental. I still have sucky days when I don't feel 100% about things but it's much better now and my hubby and family are being great at keeping me positive when I feel a bit down. I think making sure you have a lot of people ready to support you and listen to you is important and it's great that you feel brave enough to tell your midwife about it. The therapy groups other people have mentioned sound like a great idea and i'm with you all on the fruit front......pineapple chunks are my life!!!!!! Laughing
Take care and hope you're feeling a bit better soon,
Claire xxx
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