Selfish or Selfless?
  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:24 am
Post subject: Selfish or Selfless? Do you think it is a selfish thing? or is i selfless? I had this argument with a friend. She recons that a woman doing that is so that the 'adopting' mother can be forever greatful to the surrogate. I think that is rubbish. Its a physically challenging and emotional thing to do. And to go through that for someone else to feel fulfilled... well, its not selfish at all. She also said that any expenses that they meet means its for the money too. But its illegal to 'pay' for the baby. The adopting family can pay expenses as long as they are baby/ pregnancy related- maternity clothes, medical cost if going private...
_________________   [img] [/URL] Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:09 am
Post subject: i personally think its a very selfless act. imagine having to carry a baby then give it away, thats probably one of the hardest things to do. i think any one who is a surrogate is a very special person and to put your body through such a physical strain to help somebody that cant carry a child to give them such an amazing gift is in no way selfish!
Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:15 am
Post subject: I think surrogate parents are wonderful people only wanting to help those less fortunate. xxx
_________________ After 3 and half years of ttc, tests being clear and unable to adopt, we have decided to become a patchwork family. Me, my hubby and stepchildren. Its so sad to know I will never hear the word 'Mommy'.x Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:03 pm
Post subject: I think it is far from selfish, but my friend is convinced t it is mainly, not totally for perrsonal gain. I explained to her that i knew someone who may not be able to carry, so i said i would do it in those circumstances. She took this to mean, i was planning to do it and that i was trying to claim a more active role in the parenting issue. I wasnt planning it, i said IF... If it was the only option, i would. She also reckons that there is finacial gain to. I told her that firstly it is illegal to get paid for it. In gifts it ok, but no cash can be exchanged. Also, the person is family, so that would be ridiculous, so why would i take her money. She would need it more anyway. Finally she said that all the attention would be on me and the baby, not the mother.My argument is that what other people choose to do is there issue, i would allow the 'mother' to see me and bump daily, and me and her would know its her baby so others can just think what ever....
Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 8:42 pm
Post subject: My other inster in law cannot have children and neither can her hubby (problems with them both) I would quite happily have a baby for her i would find it an honor to be honest
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  Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:00 pm
Post subject: I have a friend who has had cervical cancer and has had her cervix removed, she has been told that she now has a lower chance of getting pg and keeping it in. she won't find out for about 2 years but I'm on standby should she need me to be her oven.
_________________   Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:08 pm
Post subject: ooooooo i've only just found this part of the forum!
I'm a surrogate and this is my second journey, my first one ended after we suffered 2 early m/c's, and i have to say i am very proud to be doing this for my, now, very close friends. i'm with an organisation called surrogacy uk and met them through there. we became close friends and spent a lot of time together before i made the offer to them. I personally am looking forward to all the pregnancy milestones with this couple, + HPT, scans midwife appointments etc and to be able to see their faces the first time they see their child on a scan monitor must be the best feeling in the world!! imagine being able to see that after being told you will never have children yourself!! mindblowing! and to be there to be able to witness it......well i don't know who'll be crying more lol i've known for years this was going to be something i would do and i'm now in a position to do it. it doesn't matter what other people think, if you know its something you can do then i'd say go for it. ever since i made the first step into surrogacy at the beginning of the year i feel like i now know my purpose in life......to help others Godd luck IF you decide to go into surrogacy Kerry x _________________ ex straight surrogate with 2 surrobaby angels, it all got too much in the end.  Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 5:42 am
Post subject: hi ladies,
i believe it is a SELFLESS act. I mean, what a precious gift to give to somebody. If my family members had trouble carrying a child i would consider doing surrogacy. You know who the real parents are of the child, it's not like it's your egg or your partners sperm (please recorrect if this is wrong). All the woman is doing is carrying the baby for them. Of course theres all the extra stuff the surrogate is dealing with, appointments, back ache, peeing a lot, mood swings, cramping, heart burn, sleepless nights, the list goes on. How honourable i reckon. _________________ *** Had Ectopic October 2006 ******* ******** Been trying ever since********* Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:04 am
Post subject: hi
yeah in some instances it would be the surrogates egg, that way is called straight surrogacy, the surrogates egg and the intended fathers sperm. the surrogate either self inseminates or they can do this through a clinic, although there doesn't seem to be many clinics that will do this. i am a straight surrogate and i will self inseminate. the other way is called host surrogacy. this is where the surrogate effectively goes through IVF for the intended parents embryos to be transferred into her. 
Kerry x _________________ ex straight surrogate with 2 surrobaby angels, it all got too much in the end. Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:32 pm
Post subject: Hi i think it is a wounderful thing for someone to do. i have had 11 m/c and am now considering surrogacy i want my own baby which is mine and my partners and this is the only other way i could get it my family say i'm the selfish 1 as i already have a son of 10 and should be greatful foe what i have. this is easy for people to say when its not them going through it. i would love for someone to carry a baby for me and if it was the other way around i would love to do it for someone else as it is the best gift anyone can give in life.
Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:46 pm
Post subject: to be honest i don't think it matters, i think its a fantastic ting to do,
even if a woman id doing it because she is selfish and loves being pregnant or something it doesn't matter, still brings happiness to a family desperate for a baby _________________  Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 6:21 pm
Post subject: Completely selfless. Ive felt rubbish for most of my pg so to go through all that for someone else is an amazing thing to do, i certainly could not do it knowing i wouldnt get a baby out of it at the other end. Highest respect to anyone that does it!
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