Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:45 pm
Post subject: Passive smoking concerns
Hi there, Just wanted to know if anyone was in the same boat as myself. I am 23 weeks pregnant and I don't smoke however my mum and sister do. I find it quite stressful when i go to visit them as they think it is ok to sit a few feet away and smoke with the door open about an inch or sometimes not open at all. When i try to broach the subject with my mum she just gets annoyed with me.
I understand it's her house but i feel she is being very selfish not thinking about me and my baby. My mum is really excited about being a gran and the last thing i want is for us to fall out but i get that worked up about it that i feel i don't want to visit now and even more so when the baby is born. I wish i could make her understand how i feel but because she gets annoyed i'm scared to even mention anything!
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:33 pm
Hi Leona, I can totally sympathise with you as I am in the same position with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. They seem to think if they smoke with the back door open whilst in the livingroom somehow it will magically make the smoke disappear! I gave up smoking in July 06 in preparation for having a baby so I didn't have to worry about stopping nearer to conceiving and to make sure I was being as healthy as possible.
What I have done so far to broach the subject them is say to them that smoking is the one thing which makes me feel nauseas (i've even run for the bathroom to ham it up a bit!) and this has worked quite well. I also spoke to my father-in-law about it and he doesn't like them smoking anyway so he now is good at making comments whenever they light up near me.I don't know if these are some strategies which you could adapt to suit? Is there someone you could use as a half way person to speak to them?
I understand not wanting to cause a row cos I am the same and my mother-in-law is very excited about becoming a granny. The fact is whatever you eat, breathe or feel during pregnancy gets passed on to your baby and they need to understand that.
Hope you get it sorted xxxxx
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:47 pm
Hi there, thanks for the reply. My dad doesn't smoke so he does try to support me but i think it's difficult for him being in the middle.
When my mums down at my house she does go outside so the problem really only lies with when i visit her at her house. I thought about inviting her down more or going out with her more etc. That way we both win!
I've spoke to my dad about when the baby arrives and that if she does smoke in the house when i'm visiting or she is baby sitting then i won't be bringing the baby up to their house. My husband says to see how things go and to give her a chance to hopefully prove me wrong! I really hope she does prove me wrong for all concerned!!
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:11 pm
Hello again. I think you've got the right idea with inviting her to your house more often etc. I am worried too about after the birth regards babysitting and not sure how to tackle that one yet!!! It even bothers me that the baby would come back stinking of fags cos if we go down for tea or a visit we come home humming of smoke! It's nice to know i'm not the only one worried about this. Suppose i'll have to see what happens.....xxxxx