Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:17 pm
Post subject: Is anxiety standing in my way?
I'm new to the forum, and desperately seeking advise/ reassuarance I'm not alone and to help stop me from obsessing so much?
Me and my husband first decided we wanted to start a family last October (nearly 10 months ago), and we started off taking things casual, not "trying" all the time and trying to make it a casual thing that would happen naturally. After about 4-5 months we decided that no, we wanted it NOW!! So as of about March this year we started "trying" as regular as every other day (most of the time) and yet still nothing?
I went to my GP who said to not worry until we'd been actively trying for over a year as it can be normal in this day and age for people to take longer to conceive because of peoples lifestyles etc.
I do suffer with anxiety which I have for about 4 years - I have anxiety attacks etc. I have also had other worries alongside my normal anxiety such as my Dad being ill in hospital, and stress at work!
But I am just getting to the point now, where I can't think of anything else but getting pregnant, and it just seems the more I think about it, the more it's not happening and I'm beginning to doubt whether I'll ever be able to have children? Me and my husband are 25, and to me I thought we would be quite fertile and fall PG straight away?
To make matters worse all I seem to hear is people around me getting PG, and they've fell just by accident without even trying??
If anyone could offer any advise or reassuarnce that they may of experienced the same kind of situation I'd really appreciate it?
Thanks Alot - and good luck TTC
Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:47 am
How you're feeling is completely normal hun and don't beat yourself up for feeling it. TTC is soooo stressful because we all want it soooo much and it seems when you want something it just doesn't happen. It will happen and you'll find a lot of comfort through speaking to ladies on here. There are people who have tried for years and years and just when they were starting to give up hope or referred for fertility treatment they fall pg so there is always hope! Your doc is right, different lifestyles will effect it and it does sound like you've been under a lot of stress recently. It's bound to effect it. I'm 23 and actually fell pg last yr when we weren't trying - we were so happy but I unfortunately had a misssed miscarriage in january and decided to try properly again. Since then, it's been really hard. I'm having really realy long cycles so don't have the same chance as everyone else and the docs said the same to me - they can't do anything until a year of trying. I'm just trying to relax. My best advice to you hun, is make things fun, get out and do plenty of things, perhaps try exercise - that relaxes you and releases happy hormones and gets your body baby ready! Try and eat healthily but most importantly don't let it take over your life. Wish I could take my own advice as I think about it all the time as well and it's made harder by the fact that my partner already has a child with someone else so I'm constantly reminded of it! I'm here if you need to chat, you're not alone hun, and you will get there so keep that in your head and you'll get your bubbay soon. At least we'll appreciate our children a lot more than those who didn't mean to get pg cos we would have struggled to get them in the first place! Best of luck sweetie, xxxxxxxxxxx
Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:50 am
Welcome to the forum hun
I don't suffer from anxiety personally, but you are deffinately not alone in stressing about ttc
I'm 26 at the min and am in my third month of ttc #2, I was only 21 when we started trying for my son and he took 12 months, I don't know why he took 12 months to conceive, we went through phases of just trying to relax and let nature take it's course, just doing it around ovulation and other months going at it all the time sorry for TMI.
10 months probably seems like a lifetime to you, it did to me, but it will happen hun, if it doesn't happen in the next 2 months you will be able to go back to your docs and i'm sure they will start some tests for you then
Best of luck, sending lots of baby dust your way xx
Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:08 am
Thank you so much Pink Princess and Sarah23 for your replies they were really kind to read
Hearing/reading that I'm not alone in this exhausting battle is really comforting. I do hope it will happen for us soon. I will definately take the advise to get myself out and about a bit more to de-stress and take my mind off things?
I'm so sorry Sarah23 to hear of your miscarriage - I can't imagine how hard that must of been? However, if this is any comfort - my brother and his wife suffered a miscarriage with their first baby - and now they have 2 beautiful children who are now 7 & 9! It will happen for you again, but I wish you all the baby luck in the world
Thanks again for your kind words
Sending lots and lots of Baby Dust
Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:19 am
Thanks hun - yeah not the easiest thing to go through but I believe it happened for a reason no matter how hard it is to deal with it, I know that wasn't meant to be, it's quite tough at the mo cos my baby would have been due on the 31st of this month so in a perfect scenario I would love to find out I'm pregnant again this month - really think it would help me through but will have to see. plan to take a test on Monday so keeping fingers crossed.
Good luck - stay positive. We'll get our time soon. Big hug. xxxx
Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 2:53 pm
hi pinksmartie and welcome to the forum
you'll find loads of support on here, the ladies are all lovely and very knowledgable.
its natural to feel like you do, and i know what you mean about how suddenly everyone else seems to be getting pg at the drop of a hat! probs if we weren't wanting it so much ourselves we wouldn't even notice. good luck with ttc and fingers crossed for lots of bfp's very soon xx
Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 9:25 am
Hi Pink Smartie,
I can relate to your feelings. How you descirbed is exactly how i am feeling right now. Me and my partner have been trying for 11 months now with no luck and it is all i can think about too. We tried the whole relaxing thing for a couple of months, not thinking about it. We were moving so we kinda had a lot onour plate with that to think about ttc.
But now we have found out that my 18yr old step son and his girlfriend are pregnant and they are due twins in december. Gutted! They weren't even trying it was an accident! I just hope that soon someone will smile down on me and my partner and say now its your turn and we will fall pregnant. Here's hoping anyhow. 9 days to go til we can test though and already feeling emotional, twinges in my stomach and been felling sick all week with veryu bad heartburn all week too.
Baby dust to you hun!
Kylie & Ads
Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:18 pm
Youre not alone, me and my o/h have been ttc for 10 months now, at first was very relaxed but now its getting more serious for me ive just started using ov tests and now ive bought a thermometer so i can chart temps we've both given up alcohol, try to eat healthy, I think stress has a big part to play in it as so many times you here that if you relax it will happen. Which is a lot easier said than done when you cant help but think about it every day.
Ttc since December 2007!
Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:58 am
Post subject: Great minds!!!
Hiya pinksmartie, i
just logged on and read your message and your feeling all the things that i am!! it was weird reading it! i'm 27 and me and hubby been ttc since march, we 2 are now obsessed and to make it worse we told a few people we were ttc and i almost feel like people are waiting for us to annnounce the "big news"!
I've not had wot i would consider a "true" period yet, i've had an odd discharge a couple of times but thats it? i've been to the practice nurse and she just says just relax and let things happen but i'm strting to think "wot if i have a problem that i'm not aware about"?, i had a smear check at a private clinic in january and they said i had a "nabothian follicle" and she said women of child bearing age get them? and it's nothing to worry about-so i didn't until now and now i'm panicing?
i've also started doing ovulation tests every day because i've not had a real period i don't know how long my cycle is so i just thought if i test every day i bound to get a positive ovulation test but NO! they've all been nagative!
SOooooo after ranting on,and on,and on,and on........ just to let you know your not alone!!!!
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:03 pm
hiya sarah23 ,
i've not really had wot i would consider a true bleed? without getting too descriptive i've just had a discharge on the odd day, no real pattern occuring? and definately no stomach cramps, sore breasts etc that i usually got when i was on the pill(i was on it for 12 yrs).... The more i research into conceiving etc it just scares me... you start to get a bit paranoid? wondering why not conceived etc... my friend has just found out she has cysts on her ovaries and a kidney infection thats why she hasn't conceived(she's also trying-since Jan) so she's been referred to the fertility clinic- it just makes you wonder what if i have something wrong and it goes undiagnosed and ruins my chances as the nurse and doctors just say "it'll happen when it happens!!" which isn't much help?
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:53 pm
I know what you mean hun! When did you come off the pill? I worry about that as well. I had a miscarriage in january and since then my periods have been all over the place. I'm now starting to wonder whether I have pcos cos can cause long periods and stuff and sometimes means you don't ovulate. my doc just says they can't do anything for me until i've been trying for a year - but it's causing me misery with these long cycles so i'm gonna ask for tests to check my hormones etc and might go and get smears and stuff done to check things and maybe suggest i want to be tested to check whether I have pcos cos if I do then they can start to give me stuff to help me ovulate and stuff!
How frustrating! I hope you and your friend are successful soon. I'm defo paranoid so you're not alone! I'm here if you need me. xxxxx
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:10 pm
Thanks for your advice, i did a bit of reding on pcos and i've wondered if i have that, it's amazing how many women do have it-they say it takes on average 8yrs to be diagnosed because the symptoms are so similar to other things it goes undiagnosed very easily- its hard trying to get anything done in a hurry when it comes to fertility and the nhs it seems? not that i would ever be negative about the nhs as i work for them!!!haha! just wish i could win the lottery to pay for a private doc and get answers a bit sooner- i went to a private clinic for a pap (smear test) and a sexual helth check in january it was £300, but it was shear luxury! if it can be-haha- didn't feel a thing, and extremely nice professional people, just wish i could afford that all the time! that was when i found out i had a Nabotjian Follicle on my cervix- my nhs nurse has never told me that i had that?