Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:54 pm
Post subject: Told parents, all didn't go so well!
Well I posted on here a while ago in the first baby section and was very worried about telling my parents that I was pregnant. For everyone who didn't see my post I'm 25 nearly 26 (yes I did say 25) and my boyfriend is Tunisian and cannot come into the UK not even for a visit and I'm pregnant. He is happy at becoming a father and we both love each other very much. I live with my parents, yes still, although I would love to move out but things are really difficult at the moment and have been for a long time. Anyway I finally plucked up the courage to tell them that I'm 15 weeks pregnant, at first they were shocked but ok, but now all hell has broken lose. He is now nothing but dirt to them (trying to find a polite way to put it) and they are now saying that the only way they will support me is if I dont fly out to him again, he can make his way here but I can't go there because they think he wont let me come back or if I go over after having our baby he wont let me bring the baby back. I understand their concern but they dont seem to be thinking about we love each other and it is his baby too. He is not able to get a visa to come into this country, we have tried, he needs work papers but is finding it hard to find work where the employer will give them, but they dont understand that. Everyone may be thinking why dont I leave home but the problm I have is I have two very much loved horses too that I just cant leave. It's all a bit of a mess and I really dont know how to sort all this. I do know though that he would never keep me there against my will or do anything bad, he's not like that despite what they say, they've never met him!
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:58 pm
they need to realise that u are 25 now 15 hun, ur a grown woman and its ur life,
i understand that they are proberly very concerned for u, but its ur choice wat u do, wether u move out there or he can come here,
its good that you've joined this forum because you wil get lots of helpful advice and support,
good luck x
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 5:49 pm
beacuse you still live with them they obviously have a say in some things but not who you choose to be with and definatly not if it means your child won't be able to see its father.
i think you need to sit down and talk to them andexplain how much you love each other and want to be a family no metter how difficult it will be
Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:51 am
Sorry....but if u were my daughter i would been feeling the same.. how long have you known him?? Remember they've never met him... Think they're only worrying about you....wot if u got out there n things went wrong...how they gonna feel??? sorry yr feeling this way but i can see their point x
Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:51 am
I'm really sorry that you're going through this drama esp as your pregnant and its meant to be a joyous occassion. I think the reason your parents are so involved is because you're living with them its their home, their rules type thing. But you are an adult now and have to make your own choices/mistakes would it not be possible for you all to go to Tunisia to visit/meet him?Because you cant carry on like this for the next 6 months - you'll need your time to focus on being healthy and being a mum. I'm 27 and have my own house and my mum still tries to tell me what to do but i have the freedom to tell her to back off as i'm in my home not hers. Where as (unfortunately) when you live with your parents they will ultimately feel like they control you as you're on their terms. I understand is huge financially to move out while you're pregnant but i think you need to consider your options seriously as you'll never have the independance you crave while you're still at home.
I hope it works out and you can meet each other half way because at the end of the day they'll still your parents and prob will be your biggest support when the baby is born.
Good luck, take care xxx