woulda bn due date on fri

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hailesb
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:26 am 
Post subject: woulda bn due date on fri
I would be due on friday with my first baby but lost my little angel after only havin him/her in my tummy for 5 weeks. I feel so sad thinking I would be about to pop soon. I know i'm one of the lucky few cos as I write this i'm 7 months preg but it doesn't stop the hurt. The worse part is i lost the baby cos of stress. Stress of looking after my step kids over xmas and my oh not helping out AT ALL and all he cud think about was getting drunk to the point where I started bleeding on new years eve, we were at a friend's place but he let me go home and he stayed there to party. And when I cracked the [*CENSORED*] he came home but just screamed at me then went to bed.
I can't be nice to any of them this week. I have so much resentment against them. Why did my baby have to die and them to be just fine? I know that sounds vindictive and horrid but if they were nicer to me my baby might still be here and the one that is in my tummy now could have been my second cos I love her just as much too and grateful that she came to me so soon after.
Sorry about the rant, i'm trying to get it off my chest so I can stop hating them. I dunno if it has worked.
xxx
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JoAliceNBean
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:22 am 
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Aw, hailsb, hope you are feeling better after the this post, have you been offered or thought about any counselling, it seems you are still very traumatised by the whole thing.

Good luck with your baby girl tho, i am sure she will help the hurt a little
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Jo&Alice
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 4:07 pm 
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Hi Hun. Im so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Its so easy to say dont blame yourself because you have been through so much. But Im sure you gave your little one every chance and life can be so cruel. I lost my Angel last year at 6 and a half wks (ectopic) and obviously like yourself felt very emotional and sad as their would have been due date approached. This year on the anniversary Iwill hopefully have just been blessed to have given bith to my daughter Im now expecting approx a week or so before the anniversary.

Im sure you will never forget your angel and please dont apologise for letting out your feelings they are natural. Maybe talking to others or some counselling may help if thats something you would want to consider.

I wish you and you your new arrival on the way a happy and healthy future and just remember its ok to have that cry about our angels we will never forget.

Take care Hunni. Cx
pips1
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Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 8:30 pm 
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Im so sorry hun for how sad you are feeling. I dont know what else to say, but I really am sorry you lost your first baby xxxxx
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hailesb
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Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 7:30 am 
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Thank you everyone for ur support. My oh and I went and bought a helium balloon for the day, put on some music that reminded us of our baby and let the balloon go with a rose tied to the end then lit a special angel candle, cuddled on the couch and had a good cry. It really helped.
Pup1, i'm sorry u lost your angel too and good luck with the birth of your daughter. I am also expecting a little girl.
Thank you again for listening.
xxx
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SEllis
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Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:14 am 
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hailesb, I m so sorry for your little angel and my heart goes out to you. Lost of a child is very painful for mothers and its really heart breaking. My friend also lost her 6weeks child in her tummy. I understand your feelings. I pray to God for you and you are always in my thoughts. (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
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