Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 6:00 pm
Post subject: wits end
Oh my goodness how much have i needed to get back on line and wow i have briefly looked at the some of the other chats on here but couldnt go on any further cause i was crying so much...god i feel selfish!!!!!!
I am so glad i have found this site.
I gave birth to my little baby Beatrice 4 weeks and 1 day ago i was 29 + 3 days, it was horrific, i had had a terrible pregnancy. i was having contractions for 24 hours and nobody would believe me, i nearly gave birth on a triage table until the doctors panicked after examining me and then before i knew it she was born. Little baby Beatrice Connie was born at 2 pounds 12. She needed help breathing but everything else was in order.....thankgod . I had her prem as i had a uti !!!!
Firstly ill fill you in on her, she is now 3 pounds 10 and is beautiful i am in love. She was only on oxygen for 24 hour and then on air for a further 24. She is progressing so well and I am so relieved its untrue. She is no longer in an incubator she is in her cot now and is a very good girl.
I on the other hand am living a nightmare, baby B has been so well looked after, however i on the other hand have not i am so emotional. i have had one visist from my midwife and all she did was felt my stomach nothing else, now in all the mother and baby books apparantly you are supposed to get a proper check over at least, i have been forcing myself to the hospital every day which u all know how difficult that is and feeling worse and worse. last night i thought i was going to die i was that wobbly and carried my phone with me around the house just in case i passed out and needed help. it really scared me, today i made an emergency appointment which my mum took me to, it turns out that i still have the uti and am suffering from that, i feel so angry emotional and disgusted with the after care i have not recieved, what really upsets me the most is the fact that i feel so bad i dont think i can make it to the hospital tonight and that means my litttle girl will miss out on seeing me and i will miss out on seeing her, i feel so guilty already, i am an emotional mess
Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2009 11:30 pm
Well i dont think you sound selfish at all! You have been through an emotional upheaval and you are bound to feel bad! I went through a similar situation to you i had my little baby girl at 30 weeks and 4 days and she is now almost 9 months old and a fantastic little baby. Luckily she didnt have any problems while she was in hospital for nearly 6 weeks but there was one night when i just could not make it into hospital because i had pushed myself so hard that i made myself ill! Luckily my husband and my eldest daughter went in and rang me to let me know how she was doing but i felt so bad for not going in You must take care of yourself and build your strength up ready for when your baby comes home, she will need you much more then Good luck x
Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 8:05 pm
Thank u so much for your support it means a great deal, I have since found out that the antibiotics i was prescribed i had an allergic reaction to, my throat and mouth swelled up and i found it hard to breath, i feel so much better now. I have had the most fantastic news today and have been told that baby B will be out of hospital for the end of the week, fingers crossed
Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 8:21 pm
OH hun I didn't think you sounded at all selfish!! You've been through one hell of a time with the worry of a prem baby let alone the awfulness of your uti and you must have felt like sh*t. You've done so well to cope in such a bad condition and no doubt you'll feel so much better with the correct treatment. Like helz said you need to take care of yourself for you and your baby. Look after yourself hun and enjoy every moment of B xxx
Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:24 am
I agree with the others, your not at all selfish, i was the same, the midwife was useless and i had no-one else to talk to as no-one else i knew had been in the same situation. Lily was born 10 weeks and 2 days early and was in hospital for 4 weeks, i felt terrible if i wasnt there all the time and i spent all day every day just sitting by her incubator, i wouldnt eat or sleep and my husband was getting really worried bout me, u just need to try to relax and take care of yourself (i know its easier said than done)