Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:51 pm
Post subject: stuff....lots of stuff, in my little head!!!
Hello everyone, I thought I would write and share my curent thoughts worries and general rubbish with you all!!
I am 26 weeks and 2 days pregnant, so far it hasn;t been wonderful, but over the last couple of weeks or so things are getting nicer. Got heartburn and dizziness, but the bump is explanding and i am really excited about meeting our baby! Feeling lots of movement and the midwife let me record the heartbeat on my phone so my husband can hear it too. He comes to scans etc, and has been to most other routine checks but his employer isn't as easy going as mine...the good old NHS!! So he doesn't come to the 5 minute ones where they just check BP and urine etc. We call the baby Mowgli, out of the jungle book, coz we joke that we might make rubbish parents and our cat may have to raise our child!!
I have an appointment with the cons anaesthetist soon, my spine is a bit strange so there isn't room for epidurals in the spaces...long story, but I am bit nervous as I will probably need at general anaesthetic is I need a c setion. Of course the plan is to give birth naturally and go home!
I have had my christmas plans made for me, going to my husbands dads cousins house. It's age old that my mother in law and he take it in turn each christmas, one does christmas day and one does boxing day.....however when do i get to spend time with just me, hubby and baby....my mum will come up too, so we wont even have time in the house on our own. My mum is going to be a total pain when she visits, she will just want the baby all the time and she will ignore me completely. Interfere i think is the right word for it.....I am spending lots of time getting cross with people knowing whats best and making decisions for me!!! I do understand that advice and help is nice, but there is a line that shoudn't be crossed. A least my mum lives far enough away not to visit that often!! I sound awful but my mum and I have always had a difficult relationship, she was violent and emotionally abusive until i left home to go to uni, and when i think to much about it, I just think she should butt out, seeing as she made such a mess of being a mother, I would never want my children to feel like i did growing up, you just can't forget that stuff. I guess i kinda think, how dare she do the doting grandma act when she made my life such hell....anyway enough of that!!
I have also been worrying about money when i return to work, my hisband and I earn too much to qualify for much, which is fair enough, but where do we find £400 per month for childcare, i think mother in law will do some, but even so, money will be tight...worry worry.
It feels to be such a time of great excitement and uncertainty, I also worry about any disabilities or health issues the bay may be born with. I'm a school nurse specialising in learning disability so all the children I see have disabilities and health issues, they are all wonderful children, but of course I want a healthy happy child, that's what every parent wants. I suppose I am not the only to think about these things.
I will stop now, just thought I would share with you.....I wont even get started on the fears of labour.....not the pain, mainly tearing, c sections and pooing!!!
Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 10:15 pm
Kirstie i understand your worries and i think they are very normal. Well at least i think they are because i have some of the same worries and if you read this message board the themes are usually the same. I know it's easier said than done but try not to stress too much. Have a relaxing bath, clear your head and put everything into perspective. Even if Christmas and Boxing Day are going to be hell, you have the rest of the year. Let that be the time for the family to enjoy your new arrival and steal the chance to get a break whilst the family are around.
Bad relationships with mum's can be hard and i know that. My mum died in January and it was very rocky and we were not exactly on speaking terms. My childhood was difficult as i helped raised my siblings when my mother battled depression and alchol abuse but when my mother died it was the most painful thing in the world. And though sometimes she could be really nasty to me, we had lots of good times too, and i'd give anything to have either of those moments back.
I think you will be fine, it's your motherly instincts kicking in. I'm only 21 and i too have soo many worries. This is my first baby and additional to that i'm going to court for parental responsibility of my four siblings. I feel overwhelmed and like my world is caving in. But i too trust that everything in the long run will be okay. Have faith in you and your husband, you can deal with whatever comes your way. Good luck x
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:52 pm
Post subject: nursery fees
Hey there, if nurseries and chikdminders charged minimum wage we would all be better off just staying at home, and remember they have more than one child so multiply your childs fee lots of times for nurseries, and of course they get government monies to. With childminders, they all have to take on more than one child if they want to earn a good wage. Most childminders now offer all day care plus after school pick ups and even overnight stays. Some make a goo wage if they have 3-6 children on their books.
I too have the same feelings about leaving my child with strangers, I have opted for a nursery so that I know they are regulated, and being a school nurse I have lots of friends who are nurses, midwives, health visitors etc so they have a good idea on the good nurseries in the area. One tip is to visit a nursery unannounced, take them by surprise so that they dont have time to prepare and be on their best behaviour......I am the worlds wosrt for insisting on good practice where my staff are concerned so dont be afraid to do the same with nurseries, after all you are paying them not the other way round! x