Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:22 pm
Post subject: Ex problems!
Hello alll you step-mummies! Its so nice to find a place to ask about this kind of thing!
I'm 26 weeks pregnant and step-mum to a gorgeous 5 year old girl who stays with us at least twice a week and most school holidays. She is so excited about being a big sister that she moved all the baby's things into her room so that the baby can sleep with her!
I've been with my husband for 3 years. At first his ex-wife was fine. She wanted to meet me, she was happy with how I cared for her daughter but then things changed. She has a new fella and they have just bought a new house so I thought she'd be happy!
She tried to sabotage our wedding last year, she never tells us when Katie is doing a school play etc so we miss them, she's threatened to remove her from her school for no reason and send her to one miles away.....all this was bad enough but we got used to it.
She is now telling Katie that her new man is Katie's 'other daddy' and her 'most super daddy.' Its breaking my husband's heart as he loves her so so much would do anything for his little girl. We've asked her to stop as Katie is confused but she keeps on doing it. Does anyone have any advice?
Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:39 pm
oh god what an awful situation to be in
my sil is very similar she doesnt tell my brother anything about school plays etc until last min (theres one tonight and he found out monday!)
did she only start being like this when she got a new man?
just thinking because my ex sil did... i think to be honest she realised what a biatch she had been to my brother and realised that she lost a really good thing and she had no chance of getting him back again now he was settled with his new gf... she dispises his new gf and makes things really awkward for her even though they have been together 3 years now and she treats my newphews as if they were her own. could it be jealousy in her situation do you think?
sorry if im not much help xxx
Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:29 pm
Thanks for your reply hun. I think she still has feelings for my husband despite the new fella - funnily enough, this did all start not long after she met him! I really wish she'd let it go and behave herself.
I'm really worried she'll start telling Katie that her new sister is not her 'real' sister
Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:23 am
Oh thats a difficult one hun. Its hard for me to advise as my step daughter is a teenager who can most definately make up her own mind . What I was going to ask though is if she has got worse since you announced your pregnancy? My OH ex found the whole pg thing very hard to deal with and started telling OH daughter that her dad was replacing her and she wouldnt be daddys girl anymore blah blah... then when the maintenence was reduced when Thomas came along (not by much) she started saying that was because he didnt care about her as much as Thomas etc
Since she has had a new man in her life though she has gone the other way and is a lot more chilled out and just lets us get on with it.
Like I said is bit different coz of the age but I know my OH would hate it if his daughter ever called anyone else dad.
Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:34 pm
Aw hun, your situation sounds quite nasty too! I think my husband's ex was not all that pleased about my pregnancy but she hasn't (yet) started that kind of nonsense!
I can totally understand why our OH's exes might not want to be best mates with us but is there really any need for this behaviour??
Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:08 pm
Ex problems... where shall i start!!!
FazzleDazzle - I can relate to you problems here
For my mental well being and quality of life (god that sounds quite extreme but pretty much how it was at the time) we moved area's though 4 years on me and oh relationship is still very much the local gossip and have lost a lot of friends in the process - its def changed the way i view people and life! x