Made to feel guilty :o(

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xDebsx
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Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:18 pm 
Post subject: Made to feel guilty :o(
Hi ladies - me again Rolling Eyes Laughing

Just a bit of a rant really but had to get it out.

Oh daughter often comes over on a sunday afternoon and goes home monday tea time when OH gets home from work. This is always fine with me as I don't do much on mondays anyway so is nice to have the company. Anyway - last week I was chatting to her on facebook and she said she wouldnt be coming over this sunday, we were away at my mums for the weekend anyway so this was all fine. Thomas is staying at his nannas for two days to give me a rest and I thought it would be nice to catch up with my best friend as we don't see much of each other. So I text her and tried to arrange lunch for Monday.

So saturday comes and OH daughter is on the phone asking her dad if she can come over after all. Not a problem, so he says yes but we can't pick you up till late as we will be travelling home. I hadn't told OH about my lunch date (wasn't set in stone and I don't need permision if he is at work all day). So I asked him if i could borrow his phone to text my friend to confirm and he went mad asking how come I hadn't told him and how can I go out as "YOU HAVE EMMA ALL DAY" Shocked Mad

now dont get me wrong - i like having her over and my beef isnt with her its with my OH assuming I dont have a life and expecting me to sit around the house all day babysitting his 17 yearold Shocked So now we are having a big row about how selfish I am to expect her to sit home alone all day while I go out with my friend Evil or Very Mad He then sulked all day sat and this morning got on the phone to his daughter and made up some excuse to put her off coming "to save her feelings" and has made me feel really rotten guilty as he wont now see her till next weekend Sad .

And to top it all off my friend eventually got back to me tonight saying she can't make it as she has been asked to do overtime and really needs the money (I completely understand and support this). I will have a very chilled out day tomorrow relaxing and maybe reading a book etc but I know it will be spoiled by my feeling guilty about emma not being able to come over.

Grrrrr rant over - sorry it turned into a long one ladies! lol

xx
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xstephaniex
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Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:50 pm 
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hun i dont have step kids BUT SHE IS 17????????
what the hell is the problem? surely she can stay at home and find something to do while you meet your friend? sorry i dont see an issue your oh shouldnt have went mad at you especially if your having some time on your own and emma is his daughter after all!

I think he should have said to emma in the first place to leave it this week because you were going to be having a break anyways!

men eh? x
SusanandLibby
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 8:55 am 
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Oh hun thats awful, firstly he shouldn't expect you to not arrange anything just in case HIS daughter comes round, secondly like Steph said she's 17, I'm sure she would have been fine at your house for a couple of hours while you went out (shame you can't go now Sad ) I don't think you are selfish at all, tbh I wouldn't want to have my step daughter all day on my own. Don't feel quilty, you don't deserve to and ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!! Very Happy xx
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wriggler2008
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 12:26 pm 
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what a joke! its not as if you planned to go out to avoid having her, she said she wasnt coming!

ive only had my step daughter alone a handful of times so i admire you doing it every monday!

shes 17 shes way old enough to be left alone for a couple of hours to entertain herself so there shouldnt have been a problem.

you have nothing to feel guilty about your entitled to your own life even if you would rather go out with your mate 1 monday rather than have your step daughter! x
Lillyboo
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 2:41 pm 
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i agree with the other ladies - cut to the chase here , she is nearly 18 and an adult! Hope you have managed to relax and have a nice day! xx
xDebsx
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:50 pm 
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Thanks for the support ladies - it really does mean a lot. It can be quite lonely being a step parent at times Rolling Eyes

I did manage to relax yesterday and had quite a nice day really. I had to go to the job centre in the afternoon so OH finished work early to take me as he doesn't like me going out alone in snow and ice (the pavements here are treacherous at the mo and he is scared I fall - bless). Then we went and did a bit of shopping and bought Mario kart for the wii Very Happy (anybody with this game who wants to race ever - pm me your friend number).

Kinda had a bit of fuss with OH daughter later on though. While we were out shopping she text and said she was getting her boyfriend to bring her over for tea which I thought was nice. So we bought some nice food for a special tea and went home. However by the time we got home it had started to snow really heavy so OH rang her to say he was worried about them driving in it. She then said it doesn't matter anyway coz her boyf car radiator had gone bang and she started throwing a hissy fit on the phone to her dad as if it was his fault. He said its ok it can't be helped and it is better they are not traveling in the snow anyway and she kicked off that she wants her new laptop charger (OH bought it and it got delivered here) and started screaming at her dad Shocked that he should get in the car and bring it to her. Baring in mind it is a 40 mile round trip and the snow was coming down thick and fast on top of sheet ice. So turns out she wasn't coming over to see us at all she just wanted to pick up her charger. Mad

Then coz OH is wrapped round her little finger he starts going on about how its ok he will get ME to go to the post office first thing in the morning and send it special delivery so she gets it before 9 the next morning Shocked . Well of course this isnt good enough and she wants it NOW!!! But she starts to realise she isnt getting it NOW!!! so says ok "as long as SHE does do it first thing then that would be ok I suppose" . So Im in the background listening to all this so I turned round to OH and said like F**k I will! He doesn't want me walking the couple hundred yards to the job centre from the car park but he doesn't mind me walking the 3 mile round trip to the post office - erm? I don't think so! Evil or Very Mad

So of course guess who's fault it is AGAIN! ffs - Im getting very tired of the spoilt hissy fits now - surely by 17 she should be starting to grow up a bit Confused

Pmsl - this forum is slowly turning into "deby's rant forum" sorry ladies Embarassed don't feel you have to reply - i feel better for just writing it down - ggrrrrr

xx
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wriggler2008
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:52 pm 
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oh or goodness sake you oh really needs to cut the apron strings and make her grow up a bit, her life isnt going to end if she doesnt get the laptop charger instantly!

im glad you had a good day yesterday though!! im all for helping my step kids but i wouldnt stand for anyone of them or my oh TELLING me what i was going to do!!

rant away, i love this forum its a place to really let things out that you cant really say to anyone else!
SusanandLibby
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Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:18 pm 
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Aww Debs, thats really unfair for your OH to expect you to do that, he should of at least asked you first Sad

As for this being your rant forum, rant away!!! It's great that we've got somewhere to do it Very Happy xxx
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