Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:10 am
Post subject: Visitors
How on earth do you decide who comes to see you in the hospital?
If i was having natural birth i'd do it the easy way and just say no visitors til i get home but i'm having a c-section (in 13 days) so i will be in hosp 3 or so days so cnt avoid visitors.
Ergh its so stressful trying not to offend people!
Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:17 am
I had a c-section with my son and every tom, di*k and harry turned up at the hospital to visit and I did not appreciate it
I was quite poorly after the birth and had to have a blood transfusion so I just wanted to rest but couldn't.
I have said that next time I only want close family to visit me whilst i'm in the hospital and the rest can come when i'm at home and ready for them.
Good luck hunny, if you want people to wait until you are home just tell them, I wish I did xx
Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:23 am
i want my parents and his parents to meet our lil boy, but only them...
The only thing is, his parents are hmm i don't know how to describe it but he is very close to them, and im not so much my family, but apparently my mum was crying the other day because she's scared she wont get a look in as his family are always about...so with 3 hours a day visiting times, i feel really stressed trying to get some sort of order that wont upset everybody, and your only allowed 2 visitors aint you?
i've told my oh that no way do i want visitors on the first day, which he has reluctantly accepted. . . Ergh i just want to enjoy being a mum with my oh, not have to think about other family members thinking its unfair when they can see him...
Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:32 am
Its you that is going through this to bring your baby into the world so you should be able to set the rules and hubby should stand by what you set.
If visiting is for 2 hours for instance let them visit for an hour each maybe.
I think you are right that it should only be 2 visitors but when I had my son most of the ladies including myself had 4 or 5 so I'd imagine both your parents and inlaws should be aloud to visit at the same time (as long as they don't get rowdy lol)
Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:33 am
It is hard! As much as I love my family, when I was in labour with my first my mum and sister and my parents-in-law all rushed to the hospital, and as soon as my daughter was born they all raced in - it was 11pm at night and I was exhausted, and I had to chat and let them hold her and everything. Then with my son my parents-in-law came up again to look after my daughter, but they waited outside the whole labour and then my husband made me feel bad because I did not let anyone in for a few hours after the birth as I had bled a lot and was absolutely drained. This time no-one is visiting until I am on the ward and a bit well rested!!
Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 11:06 am
I had my OH with me (ofc) and my Mum came to visit in hospital when Isaac was a day old, which was lovely.
Everyone else had to wait til I got home after 3 days - in fact most came to visit after a week plus. We sent them pics from the first couple of days, but beyond that - you need time to bond with your new baby, and peace for you as a new family. Hopefully your folks will understand that its about what YOU want, not them.... if not, I say screw hurting their feelings and just tell them to stop being so selfish and putting pressure on you when you least need it!!!
Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 12:01 pm
I think you have to put your needs first and just ask people to come to see you and baby at home after you've had time to rest, tell them up front that way they know and give them little jobs to do so they can be part of it rather than just coming to watch. Someone to make a few meals to keep you going, someone to tidy up a bit, someone to watch over the baby so you can have a good rest for a few hours - how cheeky am i? Thats what i would ask my family to do and knowing them they would give themselves jobs to do so that i could settle in to my new role as mummy.
Try it, whats the worst that could happen - its your life your rules and who doesn't like it will just have to suck it up
Good luck Axxx
Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 6:29 pm
Will just want some peace! don't like people being round much, i prefer it just the two o us, well to be three, we only have a small house so can think of nothing worse then having nowhere for people sit and them all crowding round me and the lil one...
Just know that it will be made a bigger deal of then it is...i hadnt even thought about godparents/cousins/friends, they can wait for a few weeks hopefully but not everybody is understanding that and its sooooo stressful. My oh was at his friends the day their baby was born but that was because they wanted him to be, i don't want them here until we are settled cos i don't know them too well and find it quite tiring to make conversation and im very nervous around people i dnt no well..
feel kind of selfish cos i want one of my friends round straight away, but she will only stay half an hour or so and the same week i have my baby she's leaving to live in spain so it will be the only chance she will get to meet him.
I'm a clean freak too, if i havent cleaned it i cant use it, so having people do things for me wouldn't make me feel good lol
Argh just want some peace with the lil bubba and my oh.
can see it ending with arguments