Hi :o)

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xDebsx
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Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 3:14 pm 
Post subject: Hi :o)
Ooooh woop! we have a new forum for us step parents (to be).

I'll start it off by introducing myself:

I'm Deby, I am 28 and I have a 16 (almost 17) year old step daughter (to be) Shocked

I got together with my OH 2 years ago but had worked with him for about 8 months so always new he had a teenage daughter from his marriage. I wasn't a parent myself at the time so was completely unprepared for accepting a kid into my life - let alone a teenage girl. Having said that I was completely open to it and think I have handled it ok so far Confused We do get on well - but it is obviously very difficult sometimes to know how to handle certain situations. She a typical teenage girl - need I say more? Rolling Eyes so we have our good days and bad. Obviouslt only having 12 year age gap between me and her presents problems in itself when it comes to things like house rules and discipline etc - as you would probably expect she looks on me as more of an equal than a role model etc so that can be difficult when trying to establish boundaries etc.

Even though I am now a parent myself with a baby and another on the way, it is a whole different ball game with step kids so this forum will be great if people in similar positions can help with their views and support on problems which arrise etc.

I have so many posts that I could sit here all day typing but unfortunately Im trying to prepare for my lil guys 1st birthday so will be back. In the meantime it would be great to hear from other members who have step kids, who's OH have kids, who have their own kids from a previous relationship and now have a new partner who is to be step parent etc etc

xx
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wriggler2008
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Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:06 pm 
Post subject:
hey,

you obviously know me lol im 20 and i have a (nearly) 12 year old step daughter and an 8 year old step son... i get on quite well with my step daughter but find things incredibley difficult with the boy... i also have andrew and sophie who are mine and i love them to bits! i have to admit im probably not the greatest step mum in the world i really struggle most of the time but i get on with it for ohs sake...

come on other step mummies!!
SusanandLibby
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Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 7:07 pm 
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Hi, my is Susan (surprise surpirse Rolling Eyes ) and i have a nearly 12 year old step daughter called Tia.

It's a verrryyy long story but basically I got with my hubby when I was 16, Tias mum was pregnant at the time after a one night stand and wasn't sure who the father was. DNA test was done after 2 years which confirmed hubby was the dad. He wasn't allowed to see her til she was 6 years old so she doesn't call him dad and they're not very close. Luckily she loves me and she absolutely adores Libby, she such a lovely little girl. Things are not very good between us and Tia's mum but it's civil enough that she texts hubby to tell him when we can have her which is usually for a few hours every weekend.

More step mummy stories please!!!! xx
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seonaidandrea
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Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:26 pm 
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hi,
my names Seonaid, i have been with my oh for 3 years and I've 2 step daughters, Alicia 10 and Chloe 6, I have a great relationship with them, I love them to bits. the girls are with us Friday through till Sunday every weekend and then during the hols as much as possible as well.
oh doesn't have a great relationship with his ex but we have the girls as much as we can and as long as they're happy then that's the most important thing to us.
oh and i are trying for a baby and we want to get married and the girls both seem very happy about this, they have a really good relationship with my family and regard my mum and sister as their aunties. I'm sure as they get older we'll have our ups and downs but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. xxxx
sange
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:16 pm 
Post subject: Need Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi my name is Sange I have a 5yr old stepson that don't call me mommy.He don't even want call me mommy.He only do that when my kids call me mommy i got the impression that he don't like me .What is it that I do wrong.

Becoz I can c that u r getting along very well with your stepchildren.I need advice urgently.

Sange Sad
wriggler2008
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:51 pm 
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hi sange theres nothing wrong with him not calling you mummy, my step children dont call me mummy at all and i wouldnt want them too, they have their own mum and i am mummy to my beautiful children. i would never want my children to call any other woman mummy Very Happy

how long hav you been with his father? if you only recently got together he might just be a bit nervous around you to start with maybe a bit shy?

its ok we are all here to support each other! Very Happy
shootingstars
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:52 pm 
Post subject: Re: Need Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sange wrote:
Hi my name is Sange I have a 5yr old stepson that don't call me mommy.He don't even want call me mommy.He only do that when my kids call me mommy i got the impression that he don't like me .What is it that I do wrong.

Becoz I can c that u r getting along very well with your stepchildren.I need advice urgently.

Sange Sad


Your not his mommy, hes only 5 and to him he mommy is the biggest thing in his life, its not that he doent like you, and you shouldnt expect him to call you mommy,

Hi im 28 have 2 step-children aged 10 and 7 love them to pieces, and get on great with them, have been with their Dad just over 4 years and have tried made them as much appart of my family as possible, even though it was made difficult to say the least,
I must admite when me and Oh first got together somethings were difficult as to be expected, as it was a big changed for them, but know we all have a great relationship, i treat the children like they are as much mine as Bethany and they always have if she has as mine and Ohs money is split 50/50 and they are as much appart of him as Bethany is,
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Lillyboo
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 12:45 pm 
Post subject: Hello
Hello to all you step mummy's!

I'm Rach and have one son of 10 and 2 step sons age 8 and 11 - our house is very busy and has all the usual up's and down's of family life - oh is just about to have v. reversal so we can hopefully have one of our own!

Great to see a thread just for stepparents - I had posted previosly in 'Your Life' about step kiddies..... my stepsons stay 2/3 nights in the week and every weekend so they vertually live with us. Don't you just find as a family you have to work just that little bit harder than others just to make sure you are seen to be doing the right thing by everyone all the time?!?!?!? it can be quite tiring!! look forward to chating!! xx
shootingstars
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 12:58 pm 
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It is really hard being part of a step-family, its the hardest job in the world, as a step mum, i find that we can never do right for doing wrong, yu get moaned at for treating the children as your own, then if you treated them like mud or made them feel unwelcome your would still be in the wrong, so i believe as of this year that i do whats right for the kids both ours and ohs, and if others get hurt along the way so be it, as long as the children are happy that is all that counts, everyone elses feeling should be put to one side, and let the past stay where it lies and look forward to the future x
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sange
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:58 am 
Post subject: Thanx u
It's me Sange Sorry 4r taking so long 2 respond I was on holiday.Thanx u 4r your anwer I really appraite it very much.

What I know in my culture as a black women a child has 2 say mommy.But things r know fine & he started school 2 day.He was so cute in a school uniform.

I hope u enjoyed your holiday with your families.Mine was the best I can describe it.

Sange
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