Help me. My 18 month old is controlling me...

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chanelmarie
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Joined: 17 Jan 2008
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:18 pm 
Post subject: Help me. My 18 month old is controlling me...
Please help me. Im a single mum at 22 with my 18 month old son Max. Now i know that all toddlers have tantrums but this surely is not right? Whenever he wants something he points at it and if its not something i wish him to have i say no and he screams at me to have it. Also if he is close enough he hits me with his fists and then hits himself. At one point he was on my lap and wanted my phone, i said no and he hit me right in the eye, i had a bruise for days and obviously struggled to explain to people where it came from.

I would say that out of a seven day week we have proberbly two to three good days when everything is fine. On top of all this i am suffering from PND and somethimes struggle to tell him off in the correct way for his age (although i have never hit him) and often shout so loud he crys.
I sometimes feel i was too soft with him when he was born, he was 6.5 weeks early and had alot of struggle to survive. I feel that i have been too relaxed and this has contributed to him controlling me.

Please give me ANY advice you can, health visitors are good listeners but nothings beats actually hearing it from someone who has been there.

xxx
KellyRH
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Joined: 24 May 2008
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 8:51 pm 
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aww you poor thing. Boundaries and discipline is never too late to bring in. shouting wont help the situation it will just scare him.

when he does something wrong tell him no and move away from him. if he wants something and has a tantrum let him have one. once he has stopped give him a hug and play together.

try not to give him attention when he has a tantrum as he'll see this as a way of getting things. if you have told him he can not have something follow through with it dont give it to him how ever much he persists.

My son is a year now but am having to use theses as he has tantrums if he can not have something or i take something from him he should not have. i sit the other side of the room and let him have his tantrum then he'll come over to me once he's calmed down and want a hug. we have a hug then i either give him his juice or we play with his toys.

If he hits you do the same tell him no put him down and walk away. if he keeps following you maybe put him in his cot and stand in his room with your back to him. and ignore him until a minute or 2 have passed then take him out and tell him do not hit mummy. if he's calm which he should be when you pick him up he should cuddle you.

i hope i've helped in some way.

if your still stuck do a post in general chat as more ppl will it there and you'll get more advice.

let us know how you get on
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fairytale
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Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:06 am 
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hi hun - didnt want to read and run not had this myself - well not withy 18month old but struggling with 13 year old! lol.

HV are really good but maybe access ur local childrens centre for proper practical support and advce - or homestart if they are in ur area? REally really good source of support

good luck
xx
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mumsy72
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Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 12:10 pm 
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Hi,
just seen this post, don't have much advice apart from what was said before :
when he wants something he can't have, then distract him from that thing, put him in his cot/playpen so he can't hit you.
How has it been going since beginning of the month?
may be local surestart can help?
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