Moans - what is the deal with TTC? Do people realise?

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ja43118
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:57 am 
Post subject: Moans - what is the deal with TTC? Do people realise?
Sorry guys - dont even reply if you dont want - I just need to let off steam!

Does anyone (apart from all of us - obviously) realise just how difficult it is for us while we are TTC? I find this to be the most traumatic experience of my life so far - and I have had a few experiences. It is so completely ridiculous that the one thing we want in life - the one thing we are willing to do almost anything for - the most selfless act of bringing a beautiful baby into the world and loving and nurturing and teaching it to make its way in the world - is completely out of our control. I feel like I am going to explode sometimes with the irrationality of it all. And those closest to you want to support you and tell you everything will be okay - but they already have children so they actually have no idea what it is like. And your wonderful husband / partner tries to do what he can but he seems to have the ability to accept it and only think about it when it comes to that time in the month when we know one way or the other.

And if you are like me - married in Aug and getting on a bit (32) everyone is looking at you everytime you feel a bit ill - or arrange a get together - or pop in for a visit as if you are about to announce something and that makes you feel like even more of a failure.

Sorry to those following my acupuncture thread - it has been working for me but did a negative test last night so need to release built up sadness.

Jox
Teebird
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:38 pm 
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Oh honey - I know exactly what you mean. I'm getting on a bit too (37 next month!!!!) and everything you've said I completely understand. Just wanted to let you know that you are most definitely not alone in your frustrations and rants. I hear ya.
ja43118
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:47 pm 
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Thanks Teebird - I know I'm not alone - and I feel for every woman who is going through this. I never thought this would be so difficult.

Good luck to everyone of us - and I hope to hear good news soon!

Jx
Tillysmum
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:47 pm 
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Hi there, Wanted to respond to you as I am also getting on a bit (37) and been TTC for 3 years! Whilst all your friends and family are popping babies out like there is no tomorrow and every month you are dispappointed it gets to the stage where you have to let off steam. This has taken over my life and although I have tried to remain calm and focussed I cannot and I am sure this is why it is not happening. It gets so clinical and really puts a strain on relationships.
I wish you all the best, I am sure it will happen for you soon. x
ja43118
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:50 pm 
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Hi Terina - thanks. And I am sorry you have been trying for so long - I should think myself lucky that it has only been a few months. Good luck to you and your hubby too.

Jo x
xXxsamxXx
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:57 pm 
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hi there just read your post and relate completly. although im only 21 i feel just like you do, its all getting so stressful. i now try and put it to the bac of my mind so that every time i come on its not too much dissapointment but no matter what i always burst into tears as soon as i see that negative apear.
hang on in there we're all in the same boat and at least we can have a good old rant on here to calm us down abit.
wishing u all the best of luck x x
ja43118
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:00 pm 
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Hi fwannabmummy - It doesnt matter what age you are - the frustration is the same. Thanks for replying though - I really appreciate it.

Good luck xxxxxxxxxxxx
katokc1
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:46 pm 
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i completely agree....i already have a 7 year old and i want another child and i never thought that i would have to try to get pregnant..all those years on birth control to not get pregnant and now i'm trying and can't....people always ask..don't you want more kids and we say we are trying and they just get this look of sympathy and dont even know how to react except to change the subject....then i have friends and family saying are you sure you want more...isn't one enough...well they have or had more and didnt try to conceive...it just happened for them....soo completely draining.....
Poppy99
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:37 pm 
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So could not have put it better myself. It is posts like yours that make me so glad I found this site. I'm not happy that we are all struggling to conceive but it is a comfort to know 'i'm not going nuerotic' and that there are girls out there feeling the same as me. Why do the men not seem to think about it or feel our dissapointment, I was really down last month when the painters came in to decorate (or Aunt Flo) and he just cleared off out to his flying club, got my own back, took to retail therapy in the new Next catalogue! Didn't help much tho' Wink To add to it I do find it hard to talk to hubby too much as it is a touchy subject after he tried for three years with his last wife, so i thought it was just me not expressing myself to him enough for fear of hitting a raw nerve but after reading your note, maybe not, perhaps I should let him know how I feel a bit more after all past is history and this is us now!

You are right, it is traumatic, we try very hard not to let it be so but we want a baby so much and it is out of our control to an extent, all the 'not knowing'. My mum took ill a couple of years ago and was diagnosed with CJD then later changed to Parkinsons+Alzheimers, thought it was the hardest thing in my life to watch and go through but the family pulled together and we found a way to get through it best we can but this feels so isolated - so keep talking girls. No matter how silly the question, it's good to talk Wink p.s I'm knocking on 36 and been trying 5months
helen73
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:00 pm 
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Hi there all. Am so totally in agreement with you all. I was 10 days late this month and starting to get so excited then along came AF and I was absolutely gutted. I'm 34 and my DH keeps saying it'll be fine, but it's slightly easier for him as he has a son from his previous marriage. He understands how much I want kids with him, but doesn't understand why I get frustrated by the whole thing. I was going up the wall ntil I found this site and am so pleased just to be in the company of others going through the same problems....it has been a real help and I just hope we all get a BFP sometime soon. Best wishes to all and here's to being here fo eachother.
Khugs
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:14 pm 
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Good luck, to all of us and fingers crossed, I felt so isolated until I found this site. I feel so bad as I get so jealous of my friends who get pregnant, I can't bear to be around them, it's so hard and I feel like a bad person for feeling that way. It's hard to stay strong all of the time. But will get through this am determined! heres hoping for all of usxxx
McG
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:25 am 
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I feel the same as everyone on here and I am also so glad I found this site, it is so much easier to talk to people who are in the same position as myself. My best friend is pregnant at the moment, she started trying the month before me and caught after 6 months, she is now in full bloom and so excited and I am pleased for her but I sometimes don't want to see her cause it reminds me of what I have not got, I feel terrible and so guilty that I feel this way but cannot help it. It's good to know that we can all 'sound off' when we need to!
cocos123
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:12 pm 
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I'm so glad to have found this site too. It's great to read all the posts from women in a similar situation. I've been ttc since June 07 and although its not even a year yet, it feels like an eternity! My spotting before my period has started today, so there's another month gone. It's really hard to not think about it all the time. My OH tries his best but he just doesn't seem to understand why I get so upset about it.

Good luck to everyone

xx
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