Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:50 pm
Post subject: i dont know what else to do - mouthy 7 yo!!
well me and my sons dad split just before he was 2, we have always got on, (just not in a relationship obviously) and we have remained quite good friends, he has had Scott every weekend from the word go, but when he goes up there he is a completely different child!!
my ex lives with his parents, so that is where scott stays at the weekend, and i know this is their fault, as from the beginning they have let him get away with anything and everything!!
just a few examples - he was 2 1/2 and he wanted a jam donut (which he had never had before) so they let him (even though i told his dad he wasnt to have things like this -he has really soft teeth) and they ended up giving him 8! yep 8!!
he walks in and his grandad could be watching somethin on the tv and he snatches the remote and says its my turn and turns the tv over
and he must have been about 4, and his dad brought him home and showed me a video on his phone of Scott, at dinner time, jumping on the table, and kicking his dinner plate - full of sunday roast up the wall and onto the floor!! why his dad was just standing there videoing it is beyond me!!
well anyway this is completely not what my son is like at home, he is polite, kind and caring towards his little brother and sister, always wanting cuddles etc he eats his dinner with the manners he has been brought up with, and ok, he does have his mouthy moments but he is a 7yo boy!!
from the beginning i have told them that they need to be consistant and carry on with what i do with him at home, but they think im too harsh!!
they would not sit him on the naughty step!!
and now he just doesnt do a thing they tell him!
his dad has just brought him home, and told me how much of a nightmare he has been up there, and to have a word with him, so i sat sown with talked to him, and all he could come up with was "i dont know, i just wanted to!"
so i went through with him, step by step what he done and asked him if he thought it was right or wrong, and he got top marks!! before he went i told him that if he was good at his dads i would take him to the cinema just me and him and i have told him he has now lost thhis treat, and he is supposed to be going away for a week with just his nan and grandad at the weekend, but his grandad is VERY ill and i dont trust him to be good for them, so i have told him that he isnt going on holiday either, i phoned his dad to tell him that he isnt going and all i get is "aww you cant do that, you will break his heart!"
so what else do i do?
i feel like completely leaving it up to them as this is their fault in the 1st place, and i dont have to deal with it at home as he is fine at home, but then i want him to be the little boy that i have brought up!! and i want to be able to trust him to behave when he isnt with me.
he is now up in his room sulking, but i dont know what else to do!!
im dreading the teenage years!! lol
Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:33 pm
are they going far away on holiday?
personally if it wasnt that far (so they could bring him back if he is being too much) then i would let him go if he and his dad want him to go. i find that i stress out so much when at the inlaws but the inlaws are actually really chilled towards the bad attitude my step daughter can have at times and andrews monkey like behaviour! lol they might not get as stressed towards the behaviour as your oh does?
wow 8 doughnuts .
Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:23 pm
Honestly .....not your problem hun.....if they wont tell him then why should you .....his dad is there and can tell him but chooses not to so why should you play bad person for him !!!!!
My kids go to dads every other weekend and i know they are a nightmare for him but he lets them so im not going to turn my relationship with them upside down because he doesnt want to tell them off.....
Yes you want him to be a nice child when you are not there but you cant control what they do ...sooner or later your son is going to make his own choices and you can only guide him to what is wright or wrong.....if his dad and grandparents wont guide him he will learn who and where he can behave for ....
dont be too hard on him this is your ex's fault not your sons
best of luck
x x x
Thea-Our Darling Daughter with us for 2 special days ....always loved missed more .....
Xavier lifes pure joy