can anyone help me

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Mise
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:47 pm 
Post subject: can anyone help me
ill start by saying that im sorry this is going to be a long post.....

Me and my partner have been together for 7 years currently buyinh our own home and have 2 lovely dogs. We are both 25. We dicided in 2009 that we would start trying for a baby and i fell pregnat in September however i lost the baby in november.

Then in January 2010 i was diagnosed with Acute Myloid Leukemia and nearly died because i was so ill they were unable to save any of my eggs. However with a number of chemotherpy courses and a bone marrow transplant from my older sister im now on the road to recovery.

We would still love a family but i have been told that i have no chance of conciving my own child. Im also going through the menapores Sad They have said that the only options are ivf which i cant afford and scared to death that i wouldnt work anyway then i would have to deal with not being able to afford another treatment.

They have said that i could have egg donation but i have no idea were to start with this and again there is cost to worry about my doctors are useless and dont have a clue and i dont have another gynocolagy appointment till feb.

I know that there is surragancy but have no idea how this works or what costs are involoved i know we could adopt but we have large amounts of debit and dont think we would be excepted my other half also still want his own child and i cant blame him.

Can any one help me im desprate to be a loving mummy to a preshious little life.
lalena
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:07 pm 
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i cant really give you much advice, but there is a lovely lady here called komolafe, who has recently been told she can have egg donation, with her sister as the doner Very Happy is that something that could work for you guys? that way any child would be your other halfs AND your blood too. have a look on, i think?, the ivf/sterilization reversal section, theres also the trying to conceive section. there are lots of great peeps who will be able to advise you as well as lend support.
oh, and welcome to askbaby xxx
Missdooolittle
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:34 pm 
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Hi Mise,

Sorry to hear the situation you have found yourself in,unfortunately I am unable to off any advise in this area. I wish you all the luck in the world tho xx
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xxVictoriaxx
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:15 am 
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I don't know much about it all, but would you not qualify for IVF on the NHS?
I know there is quite a long waiting list for ivf with egg donation but it is available on the NHS and as one of the other ladies said, there is a lady on here who is having NHS funded ivf with her Sister's eggs, so will beat the long waiting time to be matched with a donor.
With regards to surrogacy, I think that will be more costly that ivf if done thru the corrct channels - usually fertility clinics again.
Maybe ask a Q in the IVF section on the forum, there will be ladies there that know a lot more about the process. Good luck xx
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jb100
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:37 am 
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Don't rule out adoption. My colleague is almost at the panel stage and they have debt as well as having 1 child. They seem more bothered about her son than anything else, even that she has a 2 hour round trip to work and her OH works shifts. They decided they wanted to help a child that desperately needed help after a rubbish start in life. They have been told they can expect to be able to pick from 3months - 5year olds. Her OH is black (she is white) which has meant there are more babies/children available. I know that sounds terrible but it's not meant to be racist.

I don't think adoption is for everyone but definitely worth looking into. Wish you lots of love and luck on your journey. xx
DL05
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:51 am 
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I would have really thought in your circumstances you would qualify for IVF on the NHS , and as some of the other Ladies have said as long as she agrees and is suitable it shouldn't be a problem for your sister to be a doner . I remember reading about a lady a while ago with very similar circumstances to you , who had one sister donate an egg and her other sister volunteered to carry the baby for her ,as I think her cancer meant she'd had to have a hysterectomy . Your GP should be able to find out what the situation with NHS funded IVF in your area is , although they may want to wait until you've been in remission for longer , my nephew had ALL as a child and I know how gruelling the treatment is and it's supposed to be easier to treat in children , so obviously the docs will want to put your health first . FX you get some positive news at your appointment in February ,it's got to be a good sign that they've already mentioned IVF so they aren't ruling it out as an option for you x
Micy
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 11:54 am 
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Hello, Mise! I want to tell that I have very similar life story. When I decided to become a mother it emerged that I had uterine cancer. I began to fight for my life. After surgery I lost my uterus and after chemotherapy my ovaries died and stopped producing the eggs. I am denied the opportunity even to bear a child, to feel how it stirs in me, how it is growing up. Every day I woke up with a sense of my child’s smell, I heard his voice, his thoughts and desires. I even started talking to him. How do you think where it would lead to? I have almost stopped to feel like a woman, despite the fact that my husband fought for me from last forces. About surrogacy, I have learned from my sister who spent all her time on the Internet searching my salvation. And you know, I dreamed about a child so much that I did not doubt for a second. Furthermore I did not have a lot of choices. Since I am from Hungary, we started looking for an opportunity to give birth to our child with the help of a surrogate mother abroad. After reviewing a large number of clinics, we stayed at the clinic BioTexCom in Ukraine. They offered an ‘all inclusive’ package that we were very happy with, as we were only focused on winning. I cannot say that everything was simple, the waiting drove us crazy. It seemed that I would be told that nothing happened and I would never have the child with my husband’s eyes. But after 1.5 years I had my daughter, my angel, my whole world. Now my princess is one year old. Many friends who do not even guess how I had my baby, they say that my daughter looks like me. If you are really ready to become a mother, no matter whose egg is there and no matter who bears your child, Mom is only one who grows and loves. Don’t worry, I am sure the woman who really want to be mother she would! I other hand you always have the possibility of adoption. But I think you should be brave and should fight for your happiness.
Kathy37
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 10:59 am 
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Hi, girls! The more I live the more I understand that infertility is a real plague of nowadays. More and more couples suffer it. It is so unjustified but the people should be strong in order to fight. In some cases it is really possible to win it. It only depends on the people. How ready they are to combat. But there is always a way-out. I also couldn’t conceive and had thorny way. But finally we opted for surrogacy. Mise, you must be strongly convinced in your choice. Nobody says that is easy. But my experience, experience of Micy and of many other couples can testified that there is a solution. But be very careful choosing the clinic. The cost can be different, can vary a lot. But it doesn’t mean that it is completely unaffordable.
Micy
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 11:41 am 
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Hi, Kathy! As I understood you are also have the problem with infertility. Or you had? What is your diagnosis? Did you use surrogacy? What are the results of your treatment? I think as much people share their experience as more it can help and change the lives. If it is not a secret we will be appreciate if you share your experience. It would be better to protect people from mistakes. Or just try to support.
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