step son!

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mand18
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Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:33 pm 
Post subject: step son!
hi i have 5 kids 3 with my ex and 2 with my partner or 6 years,he has a son who has lived with his dad since he was 4 he is now 16,trouble is he sees alot of his mum he used to see her at weekends but now he goes there 5 nights and stays with us 2 nights ,problem is we sleep down staires with our youngest son who is 1 he is in a cot but very soon he will need a room of his own i think he should ave my step sons room as it is empty for 5 nights but that means he carnt come back to sleep and my partner said no chance of that happening he wants him to come back for thuse 2 nights so what do i do i feel very strongly about this why should i leave the room empty for 5 days i think we could spillt up over this am i being selfish?please help me? Crying or Very sad
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Charlplusbabies
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 3:18 pm 
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I have an issue similar to this.
I am pregnant with baby number 3 and we have just found a 4 bedroomed house which we move into in January. My OH has a 4 year old daughter with his ex who is with us 3 night s a week MAX and every weekend during the day (it alternates each weekend as to whcih night she sleeps)
anyway we are moving into this 4 bedroom hosue and I have 2 sons. 1 is 8 and 1 is 19 months. My OH has made it clear that my 19 month old will ahve to share with the new baby and his daughter have a room of her own. WHY?? she wont be there much to use it. Where as our children will live there all the time so I feel they should have thier own bedroom and it shoudl be her that shares with the baby when she comes over to stay!

Its such a horrible situation to be in.
xxxxxx
georgia20
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 4:04 pm 
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thats not fair, its your house and your baby!! its should be the babys room. you should get a fold down bed for the boy so he can still come round and stay! the lo needs his own room to be able to grow up in and play!!! put your foot down hun xxx
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mand18
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 8:23 pm 
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hi thanks for replying Smile i have told him i am defintly putting our son in his sons room after xmas weather he likes it or not and his response was he will move out if do Sad so what do i do?he wont risk not seeing his son cause he said if there wasnt a room for him here then he would never come back to see us Confused what a nightmare!
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georgia20
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:37 pm 
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is the room big hun? Could you have a word with your stepson? This really isnt fair, your lo needs his own space, really feel for you hun xxx
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shootingstars
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:45 pm 
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Could you speak to your step son, I think if he isn't there all the time he migh be willing to give up his room for his baby brother, and tell him you will get him a sofa bed down stairs, so he can come and go as he pleases, which means he can stay more often, or less often as he chooses,
The thing is your Oh needs to realise his son as grown up and made the decision to stay with Mum longer now, and that in a way the tables have turned, he now as to make arrangements to better the children that are still at home x
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mand18
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 10:29 pm 
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hi the problem is me and my partner sleep downstaires on a settee bed so theres no room for him to sleep down staires my oh said if i mention about my youngest having his room then he will leave carnt believe he would sacifice everything Crying or Very sad
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shootingstars
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:35 pm 
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How many rooms have you got, couldnt all the kids share and you have 1 too?
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mand18
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:29 pm 
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hi we only have 3 rooms we already have 3 girls in 1 room and my eldest in a small room they dont get on with each other so couldnt put them 2gether Crying or Very sad
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Angelcake71
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:55 pm 
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sorry but I think your OH is being a bit sensitive.. your stepson should give up the room if he is hardly ever there... you should be sleeping in one of the bedrooms upstairs, with your baby son, let the girls have the other room, and your other daughter the other room, or make your girls share a room and give your son the smallest bedroom,
and give the stepson the couch.. at least he has something to sleep on.. he is no more important than your kids
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Charlplusbabies
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:18 pm 
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oh its so difficult isnt it.
I definitely agree that your baby should have a bedroom of its own and your stepson an alternative arrangement.

have you managed to speak to your other half yet?
xDebsx
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 4:34 pm 
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I do agree that your LO needs a room of his own hun but the problem you might have is that if your OHs son has lived with his dad all his life then I assume your OH claims CB and Tax creds for him and recieves some sort of maintenance for him from his mother? If you move him out of his own room and he decides to move in with his mum full time she will have grounds to take your tax creds and CB and also claim maintenance from your OH as it will look as though you have thrown him out and he has been 'forced' to move in with her full time.

I do think your OH is being extremely childish about the whole situation though hun. Is there a reason why you and the baby cant move into the boy's room and your step son have the sofa bed?

Hope you manage to sort it

xx
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