im not dealing with my 7 month old

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bernie1788
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Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:20 pm 
Post subject: im not dealing with my 7 month old
Hi

i am really finding it hard coping with my 7 month old son. I really didnt want him when i found out i was pregnant but i was to far gone to have an abortion. I found it really hard to deal with through my pregnancy but kept this to myself as i thought i would be ok once i had him. When he arrived i put on a brave face and still am because i thought this was normal (BABY BLUES) I do look at him and know i really do love him but i know he needs so much more than i can give him. When he crys i dont feel sad for him at the time just wish he would stop, i shout at him all the time and no this is wrong but i cant help it. Im not normally a angry person but i am with him. I dont feel the need to smack him and just wish i felt the same when i shout at him. I am a single parent but this was my choice so dont blame anything on that. I have a great famliy that loves him so much and dont feel like i could talk with them as this would hurt them. Please help
EmzandFlick
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Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:22 pm 
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You need to call your midwife hun or go and see your GP.
You have nothing to be ashamed off, many people go through this xxxx
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Rhoo
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Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:31 pm 
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do you think you could have post natal depression? it really sounds like you do tbh. somedays i feel the same with my little one but all she wants is her mummy shouting wont stop her crying.

do you go out much? bein stuck in with a whiney baby would drive anyone crazy when kate was really young i would walk miles with her in the pram or buggy just to stop her crying all the time and it did help a lot also your wee guy will soon be at the age hes can play and move about and everything is less frustrating for you and him!!
i really think you should go to your doctor because it wont go away unless you seek some help for this xx
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EmzandFlick
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Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:32 pm 
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Do you have anyone that could look after your baby for an hour or so during the day?
The break may help you clear your head and stuff x
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KaBum
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Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:34 pm 
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Aw hon, sorry I can't offer you any useful advice but I hope everything starts looking up for you. I agree with Em though, you could perhaps seek some professional support x
EmzandFlick
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Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:44 pm 
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When you had your first MW visit did she do a questionairre with you?
Mine did and she said that it indidcated that I had PND xxx
We are always here if you want to chat hun and remember if you get frustrated with LO leave him/her in their cot and let them cry it will do them no harm until you get rid of the negative feelings xxxx
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xxrosiexx
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Posted: Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:31 am 
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Please please please phone your midwife asap and say everything you have said to us. Its sounds like you are post natally depressed and hun you really shouldnt be shouting at a 7 month old bless his heart. He is crying for his mummy cause he needs you to comfort him and make it better. You are his world and try your hardest to be strong for him because he needs you so much. Please speak to your gp or midwife and keep us updated. We are all here to talk if you need to. Please dont make your LO suffer with an angry mummy, try to do something about it. That little boy will love you more than you will ever know xxx
LauraG
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Posted: Sat Jan 01, 2011 9:12 am 
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yes u need to go see ur gp or health visit.

its not ur fault the way ur feeling but u need to seek some help.
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bernie1788
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Posted: Sat Jan 01, 2011 7:17 pm 
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Thank you for all your advice. I know its time to seek help and i will make an apointment to see gp.
thatonethere
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Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:28 am 
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I was exactly the same with my first. He's now in his teens and I'm glad I came through everything and didn't abort him.
When he was little i resented everything about him being here, the fact i had to look after him and couldn't do what i wanted and i used to shout at him too, i just didn't know what to do with him!
One day I looked at him and thought it's not his fault, I have to be the best mum and role model I can be for him. It was so hard but I made the decision to be a good mum, I got him in a routine, we went for walks, we socialised, bedtime stories, everything and we really bonded, just the 2 of us.

You can do it sweetheart, ask for help, do whatever you can. Feel good about yourself, feel good about being a mum and enjoy him, he's yours and he needs you.

xx
Hungry
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:06 pm 
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xxrosiexx wrote:
Please please please phone your midwife asap and say everything you have said to us. Its sounds like you are post natally depressed and hun you really shouldnt be shouting at a 7 month old bless his heart. He is crying for his mummy cause he needs you to comfort him and make it better. You are his world and try your hardest to be strong for him because he needs you so much. Please speak to your gp or midwife and keep us updated. We are all here to talk if you need to. Please dont make your LO suffer with an angry mummy, try to do something about it. That little boy will love you more than you will ever know xxx


Couldn't have put it better myself! Please keep us posted - don't suffer alone x
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bernie1788
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 9:54 pm 
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Hi all

I would like to thank all of you for your comments, a week ago i felt so alone and thought i was the worse mum in the world but after all your comments i took myself to the doctors and things have changed loads i also spoke with my mum which i was really not looking forward to as she is so close to my son i worried she would hate me for the way i have been towards him, but she was so great and understood how i was feeling. She is going to look after him a couple of times a week so i can have time to myself, i didnt think it would help but she had him this friday night and what a difference it made. I have only been apart from him for 1 night when he was 3 months old so really have forgotten what its like having time to myself. I did miss him when he was gone but i know he is loved and cared for so i wasnt worried. When my mum brought him back saturday afternoon it was great to have him home and i realised then just how much he means to me and what a special little boy i have. I know its only sunday night now but i have not shouted at him or felt angry since he came home which is a great start. I will keep you all updatd thank you so much for everything all xxx
LauraG
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:07 pm 
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so glad things r getting better:)
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LuckyMummy2
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 7:15 pm 
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You should definitely call your midwife or health visitor. You need to get some support while your baby is still young and can't crawl or walk yet (it gets a lot more tiring when they're on the move!).
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