Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:47 pm
Post subject: can anyone help me
ill start by saying that im sorry this is going to be a long post.....
Me and my partner have been together for 7 years currently buyinh our own home and have 2 lovely dogs. We are both 25. We dicided in 2009 that we would start trying for a baby and i fell pregnat in September however i lost the baby in november.
Then in January 2010 i was diagnosed with Acute Myloid Leukemia and nearly died because i was so ill they were unable to save any of my eggs. However with a number of chemotherpy courses and a bone marrow transplant from my older sister im now on the road to recovery.
We would still love a family but i have been told that i have no chance of conciving my own child. Im also going through the menapores They have said that the only options are ivf which i cant afford and scared to death that i wouldnt work anyway then i would have to deal with not being able to afford another treatment.
They have said that i could have egg donation but i have no idea were to start with this and again there is cost to worry about my doctors are useless and dont have a clue and i dont have another gynocolagy appointment till feb.
I know that there is surragancy but have no idea how this works or what costs are involoved i know we could adopt but we have large amounts of debit and dont think we would be excepted my other half also still want his own child and i cant blame him.
Can any one help me im desprate to be a loving mummy to a preshious little life.
Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:07 pm
i cant really give you much advice, but there is a lovely lady here called komolafe, who has recently been told she can have egg donation, with her sister as the doner is that something that could work for you guys? that way any child would be your other halfs AND your blood too. have a look on, i think?, the ivf/sterilization reversal section, theres also the trying to conceive section. there are lots of great peeps who will be able to advise you as well as lend support.
oh, and welcome to askbaby xxx
Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:15 am
I don't know much about it all, but would you not qualify for IVF on the NHS?
I know there is quite a long waiting list for ivf with egg donation but it is available on the NHS and as one of the other ladies said, there is a lady on here who is having NHS funded ivf with her Sister's eggs, so will beat the long waiting time to be matched with a donor.
With regards to surrogacy, I think that will be more costly that ivf if done thru the corrct channels - usually fertility clinics again.
Maybe ask a Q in the IVF section on the forum, there will be ladies there that know a lot more about the process. Good luck xx
After a horrible few years, life is good.
Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:37 am
Don't rule out adoption. My colleague is almost at the panel stage and they have debt as well as having 1 child. They seem more bothered about her son than anything else, even that she has a 2 hour round trip to work and her OH works shifts. They decided they wanted to help a child that desperately needed help after a rubbish start in life. They have been told they can expect to be able to pick from 3months - 5year olds. Her OH is black (she is white) which has meant there are more babies/children available. I know that sounds terrible but it's not meant to be racist.
I don't think adoption is for everyone but definitely worth looking into. Wish you lots of love and luck on your journey. xx
Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:51 am
I would have really thought in your circumstances you would qualify for IVF on the NHS , and as some of the other Ladies have said as long as she agrees and is suitable it shouldn't be a problem for your sister to be a doner . I remember reading about a lady a while ago with very similar circumstances to you , who had one sister donate an egg and her other sister volunteered to carry the baby for her ,as I think her cancer meant she'd had to have a hysterectomy . Your GP should be able to find out what the situation with NHS funded IVF in your area is , although they may want to wait until you've been in remission for longer , my nephew had ALL as a child and I know how gruelling the treatment is and it's supposed to be easier to treat in children , so obviously the docs will want to put your health first . FX you get some positive news at your appointment in February ,it's got to be a good sign that they've already mentioned IVF so they aren't ruling it out as an option for you x