Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:17 pm
Post subject: ADVICE - Leaving husband - access for my 2 year old
I wonder if anyone can give me some advise if they have been in similar situations. I have finally decided that I am leaving my husband, I have had enough of the bullying, controlling and emotional abuse. I am really worried about the access he will have to our 2 year old daughter. He is a good dad to her when he wants to be but she has never spent a night away from me and he wouldnt have a clue what to do. I want her to have as much access to her daddy as possible but does anyone know what they norm is for access for a 2 year old. Do they stay overnight, etc.
I am waiting to see a solicitor but just wondered if anyone knew in the meantime.
Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:27 pm
hiya, i hope i can help
my eldest was 2 when me n his daddy split, we went through a solicitor, as this is what he wanted, when i had my meeting with them she sed that the norm was for one day of a weekend sat/sun, either once a week or once a fortnight but said that they wuddnt expect me to let him go overnight with him being so young!
however, he was used to staying at his grandparents every now and again (where his daddy went back to live) soi didnt mind him staying overnight, but no, if u dont want her to saty overnight with him then just start with the access of a day and build it up as and when u or your daughter want to!
hope everything works out ok for you xxx
Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:46 pm
Thank you for replying Loolahoop. That is a relief, I have been so worried about them forcing me to allow her to stay overnight as everywhere I read it says that if you were married when the child was born (after 2003) then you both have the same rights.
How did it effect your son? Did he adjust to it well?
Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:01 pm
that is right to a degree, he will have parental responsibility if he is on the birth certificate (do NOT need to be married!) , which does entitle him to access, but mainly under your terms - which if u say no overnight stays then thats the way it will be! there wuddnt b any solicitor judge or wotever tha wud say otherwise given the age of your child and that she has never stayed away overnight b4!! at the end of the day its about what is best for your daughter n making her stay somewhere strange overnight would be too stressful for her!!
my son adapted really well, i still get on with his dad, so i sed he could see him whenever he likes, so he had him every weekend (like i sed b4 he stayed at his grandparents anyway - we used to live there), his dad doesnt have him as much now, but only because after he started scholl i never got to spend time with him, he wud b at school mon- fri and then fri - sun wid his dad so i jus wanted to be able to chill out n watch tv wid him on a sat mornin - tha kida silly thing, so now i have him until saturday, and also on the 1st weekend of every month! erm, i dont think its effected him, well as far as i know! he looks forward to goin to his dads, and he loves all the extra prezzies at xmas n bdays lol, but he cannot remember us ever bein together so doesnt know any different.
i think it is a good idea to introduce her to the access gradually, if she has never been away overnight, its probs best to wait til she is a lil older, and no1 will force otherwise! you are allowing access, so thats all tha u need to do!! xXx