pregnant and petrified

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kailadoug
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 8:08 pm 
Post subject: pregnant and petrified
hello!
ive just found out im expecting my first baby and im scared to death. im only 20 and, as excited as i am, im terrified because me and the father are no longer together - infact it was only a one night stand. hes currently in australia travelling but i managed to get in contact with him to let him know. i was just wondering if u could offer me any advice - ive never done this before and i havent a clue whats going to happen!
booter
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:33 pm 
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Hi Kailadoug,
First of all, do you have any support in the form of friends or family? because you'll be surprised how much you'll value that support throughout the pregnancy because you'll go through some tremendous changes mentally and phsyically and you will want someone with you when you go to your appointments and scans.
Don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything you are unsure of or don't want to do.
There are many women who have to go through pregnancy and parenthood alone but go on to do a fantastic job, so you are not alone in that respect.
Have you had an appointment booked with the midwife yet? If not simply contact your GP surgery and ask for your details to be passed on to the midwife so she/he can contact you. You will usually be seen around week 6 so that many things can be established. It may be a good idea to write down any questions you have beforehand. Equally you should say that you will be a single parent as she/he may be able to offer details of support groups etc.
The midwives will keep in regular contact with you throughout the pregnancy and will also give you telephone numbers incase you ever have queries or concerns. I certainly called them alot during the early stages of my pregnancy because I had no idea whether the things I was experiencing were right or not.
I can't tell you exactly what will happen because no 2 pregnancies are the same, but what I can say is that natural instinct plays a big part in pregnancy.
Good luck to you, I hope things work out for you.
Bazzle
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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:43 pm 
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Hi There!
I read alot of these posts and this is the first time that I have posted so i hope it works! Basically I am in exactly the same position as you. I am 10 weeks and am also having to do this on my own as the Father is not involved. He wanted me to terminate and when I said that it wasn't what I wanted I haven't heard from him since......! Booter is absolutley right though - do you have a support network around you? I have my Mum and she is being fantastic and I have a great group of friends that are all thrilled for me and will be there if i need them. One of my main concerns is finances ( as Im sure is everyones!) so I have spent a huge amount of time on the internet finding out exactly what my entitlements will be as a Single Parent, and I also have an appointment with the Citizen Advice Bureau too just incase I have missed anything out. Good luck!! xx
kailadoug
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:12 pm 
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thank u so much for your advice, im getting used to the idea now and ive told everyone i needed to, still doesnt stop being daunting though does it?
im a bit worried about how ill cope with financial worries and such but im sure ill be ok
Archie1
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:42 pm 
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One of the girls at my work is a single mum with a very supportive family around her and she has just started working part time so she can get the extra tax credit/income support. It seems to be working much better for her financially as she ends up with more cash at the end of the month working part time and also saves money on childcare as she's at home more. She ends up not so burnt out working full time and trying to look after the little one by herself. Her wee boy is 6 now and she's just started seeing a lovely guy who gets on really well with her son which is great.
Just wanted to give you positive true story to keep your spirits up about the money stuff at what must be a scary time for you.
Let us know how you're getting on,
Claire xxx
Anonymous
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:36 am 
Post subject: Just Relax
Listen, I am 20 just like you. I am also in college, and doing very well. I am as terrified as you are. Trust me. The only thing that comforts me is the knowledge that God does not make mistakes, and children come from God. I won't lie. I have thought about abortion, but changed my mind because I know so many other girls who have had one and have serious nightmares, mental problems, and regrets over having had one. Besides, I was told that I would never conceive without the help of fertility drugs, so I see what I am going through as a blessing. There are so many people out there who want children but cannot have any, even with the fertility drugs. Just thank God that you can. Relax and pray about it. The answer will come. Worrying about it is not going to do anything but make you sick.

Honestly, I have my sign from God. I found out I was pregnant when I was nearly three months along. It was a surprise because I had absolutely no symptoms. No morning sickness, backaches, or anything else. I still went to class every morning. I felt that it was meant to be after I been doing so many dangerous things before I found out I was pregnant, and had not had a miscarriage. I was riding my ATV and jumping holes, I got shocked, fought, and even fell down a ramp-HARD! Even after all of that my baby stayed put. Some things are just meant to be, and nothing can change it.
gingin
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:52 am 
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i am removing my original post as i knew someone would respond as they have - i wasnt being patronising actually but i do think that conceiving a child is a pretty serious thing be it planned or accidental
it is extremely sad how many young girls are finding themselves in these situations - simple


Last edited by gingin on Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
Bazzle
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 11:01 am 
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Gingin in response to your post, I dont think anyone was asking for sympathy or to be told 'you poor thing'.
The reason you have probably read too many of these posts is because this forum is supposed to be for advice which I think we are trying to give each other.
I am 29 have had sex education and am not 'irresponsible' - accidents happen. We are taking responsibility for our actions which is why we are on here and asking questions and reading about other peoples experiences to help us.
Im really not trying to be argumentative, i just dont think that anybody needs to be judged or patronised.
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