Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:58 am
Post subject: First time - need some friends....
I'm 8 weeks pregnant. It isn't the first time I've been pregnant (I've had two early failed ones before), but it is the first time I've had a pregnancy that is OK.
I had a scan a couple of days back and there was the baby with a really strong heartbeat! Me and my partner were ecstatic.
The thing is, I don't have many friends.....there are reasons for that....but basically I feel quite lonely and I feel like I need some women to help me and tell me what is normal and what is not normal. My mum has some serious health problems and can't help me too much (plus her last pregnancy was 32 years ago...me!). My sister has had IVF which failed.
I'm feeling really poorly right now. I'm so happy to be pregnant but I'm actually finding the illness really hard at the moment. My housework has suffered, I don't feel up to doing much at all, and I'm going crazy sitting in this house!
Please could anyone give me suggestions / help / advice.
I think I'm going to go swimming, which will help me get out of the house, but I was hoping that there is something I can attend for pregnant women, for the social aspect. The antenatal classes at my doctors only admit you when you are 16 weeks.
I'm also overweight - not massively, but before I got pregnant I could have done with losing 2 stones. So I'm concerned that I get enough excersize so that I don't go HUGE!
Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 12:29 pm
Congratulations on your healthy pregnancy!!
Swimming and walking are supposed to be really good exersize when your pregnant... but try not to overdo it though and dont start with loads, work into a rountine.
If you come on here every few days or like me almost everyday u will make friends so quickly. Its really good to have some people to talk to that are going through the same things you are and can answer the questions you may have. Im like you i dont have alot of girl mates but ive made friends on here.
Keep in touch xx
Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:37 pm
I think you can have all the friends in the world but i think in a really strange way we all feel a little lonely, probably because we are all individual and it seems no 2 women have the same pregnancy ! I have absolutely no friends here in Sweden as we have only just moved and to make matters worse its a foreign language ! i keep in touch with my friends at home in jersey by facebook, i also have lots of pets to keep my busy in fresh air etc
I walk everyday and i always feel better after the fresh air
it is very frustrating not being "normal" what i do is set a target each day - like yestrd i blitzed the kitch and bathr - today doing some paperwork - it just means you achieve something - i have also set a cut off time in the day and make it clear to every1 that after 6pm i am closed !!
i seem to have gone off food cannot find anyth i really like etc but am starving all the time YOU ARE NOT ALONE - KEEP CHECKING IN WITH ALL THE GIRLS HERE IT REALLY HELPS x
Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 2:01 pm
I am 7 weeks pregnant now for the first time and feel like a v late starter, being 37. So although I feel I'm quite a healthy person, I'm constantly worrying that I might miscarry any day now, about whether my baby will be healthy and about absolutely everything else to be honest !!!
I'm over the moon, but at the same time feel very anxious about the next few weeks in particular leading up to the end of the first trimester.
All my friends had their babies years ago and can't remember going through all the little worries about unknown pains and feelings etc, so I feel quite alone at the moment, although I have loads of friends. It's nice to have this website to talk to people who are in the same boat - makes you feel like you're not on your own.
One of my worries is that I need to do some exercise, as I'm bloating up already and I shouldn't be showing anything yet !!! I'm also craving sweet things like chocolate and ice cream - soooooo bad !!!
Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 2:15 pm
Exersize is good but to be honest i just think..... sod it im pregnant, im gona eat all the cr*p i want, especially chrisps, choclate and chinese food!!!
Watch out for the ice cream by the way, you shouldnt eat machine made stuff e.g McFlurrys or ice cream van stuff. Something to do with whats in it.
Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:17 pm
I hope you are well this afternoon. I am 31+1 weeks with my first. I just have a couple of close friends but lucky for me one had her baby 3 months ago and the other is due to give birth in just under 2 weeks so comparing notes is relatively easy, however as Gingin says no 2 pregnancies are the same. I have found throughout my pregnancy that askbaby and answerbank have been very helpful.
I was going to the gym religously up until week 7 and then the severe nausea set in so I didn't do alot for 3 weeks. The doctor advised me that it was fine to go to gym etc but just to avoid the abdomen exercises. Between weeks 12 and 22 I just walked as much as possible and did some daily stretches. From then on all your organs will begin to move upwards and it will get a bit squashed in there, your heart will become bigger and start working about 50% harder, so inevitably you will notice some changes, including breathlessness. I only have to walk up the stairs now and I'm out of breath. I now use the cross trainer at home for about 8 mins a day on a low setting and walk the dogs daily but I avoid allowing my heart rate to exceed 130bpm.
I can remember every stage of my pregnancy vividly so if there is anything you want to know I'd be happy to help, but bear in mind I'm not a professional so I can only offer my experience of pregnancy and any concern or emergency you should always consult your midwife.
Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:57 pm
hey girls, its so nice to read all the emails, I am 37 by the way and think am in week 10 but really am not sure given complete amnesia about last period etc, at 37 i dont exactly mark it out in the calender these days LOL
you know its funny i havent thought about miscarriage or anything i know the stats are high etc, if you knew what i have been lifting and shifting after we moved, when i didnt even realise i was pregn your jaw would drop ! am more scared at being a Mum at my age, i would give anyth to turn the clock back 10 years ! however the bonus is i dont work now officially a housewife - i will have a horse business at home next year though
the nausea is exhausting in itself - my taste buds are completely wacked - i spend all day trying to figure out what i would like to eat !! this child has def got fathers appetite !!
Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:36 pm
How are you today?
Right up untill my first scan at 12 weeks I was constantly worrying about misscarriage and missed misscarriage, it's only natural to worry at such a crucial stage. Keep positive as you obviously are.
You really needn't worry about the heavy lifting you did previously, it wouldn't have any affect, other than a bad back ha ha!
I know you mentioned previously that you weren't keen on getting any books but I got a book that shows what happens weekly throughout the entire pregnancy with pictures of the growing baby and lots of information about what is happening in there and what you could be feeling week by week which I have to say helped a great deal because I'm naturally very curious.
I would say that your changes in appetite at this stage are down to your changing hormones because as yet your baby won't have developed an appetite, but it's good that you are still able to eat well.
How are the hiccups now? Thankfully I don't get them very often, but the baby hiccups every time I eat and even sometimes whilst I'm eating which must be very irritating for him. I do get heartburn regularly which is a real pain, particularly as I can't take anything for it! Aaahh Gingin, you have it all to come, lol. Are you showing yet? I did from very ealry on about 8 weeks.
Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:06 pm
Post subject: Hello !
Hi ! I understand how you feel about being lonely. I am very lucky to have a supportive husband and family, but i feel out of touch with alot of friends years back as i suffered from depression for quite along time and made no effort to keep in touch with anyone - my own fault really ! I was very overweight when i found out i was pregnant at the beginning of July. I ate really sensibly and went swimming and walking every other day - i took is easy though- the end result being that now at 35 weeks pregnant i weigh exactle ythe same as i did when i found out i was pregnant at week 5 ! So although the sclaes may not have changed, i know that when this little baby is born i will weigh less than when i started ! . If you are feeling lonely, then aquanatal classes are a good idea once you get to 16 weeks. Also everyone seems really friendly on this forum and pleased to offer advice so you really will not be on your own. I am looking forward to joing some mother nad baby groups once the baby is born as with my history of depression it will be really important for me to get out of the house and meet other human beings !
Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 4:04 pm
Booter, hows u? really enjoyed ur reply thankyou, u know the book thing, i should i suppose order this book you talk about it sounds very good, i think i am just enjoying day to day with mother nature, and the input from everyone on here !
in 2005 i "blew" my back, never been sick in my life always active etc then bang- life flipped overnight- signed off for third of year was on more drugs physio injections you name it before i finally had my op 4 mths later - i read and researched too much about what was wrong with me and had sleepless nights i tell you - basically i was scared s***less ! maybe i'm being naive who knows, but right now am reading a book by caesar millan the dog trainer as i have a 4 mth old puppy !! the joys of parenthood !
yes i am showing ! to be honest my partner is the only one who matters and he is loving all of this - the girls prize assets esp LOL
the gassy thing seems better - keeping food neutral tasty not too rich - have scoured the supermkts for tasty oranges and found them yesterd at last ! sweden isnt like england where i used to have the best indian take out at the end of our road
i am enjoying it all so far but know i'm getting off lightly so guess i'll get my share in time !!
partner is a dentist and says the metal taste is zinc he then blinded me with science about why all i heard was blah blah - but my teeth are nice n clean !
Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 4:43 pm
Sorry to hear about your back Gingin, that must have been a difficult time for you. Mr booter had 2 op's on his back when he was 17 and was on medication for years. He's 31 now and 9 days ago his back suddenly went and he was incapacitated for 4 days. It was worrying as we thought he was going to be stuck like that. Thankfully he is much better now. I over did things big time because I had him, 2 big dogs and a house to look after. Then, the doc signed me off work untill my maternity leave starts on the 11th Feb as I was getting strong Braxton Hicks, so I can finally take things alot slower now and there is no pressure.
I like what you said about just enjoying mother nature, I think that is a great way to go through the pregnancy. Instinct really does show you the way alot of the time.
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:06 am
Thanks for all the replies!!!
I feel better that I can ask things.
So here is a question,.....
Since yesterday I have had sharp pains....they are not severe and they don't last all the time, but they are like little needles which I feel now and then. Mostly on the left side. My pregnancy is not ectopic because I've already had the scan to prove it....
The web says these pains are normal due to stretching of the uterus and the ligaments. Is that right?
Are these pains normal so early? I'm 7-8 weeks.
I don't have any bleeding. I suppose I just wanted to know if anyone else has had these sorts of pains early on.
Last night in bed I actually felt little stabbing pains in my vagina itself. This lasted only about 3 minutes and hasn't happened since. What is that all about???!
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 12:07 pm
It is perfectly normal to experience pains like you have described, early on. I had exactly the same at your stage and the midwife assured me that it was due to the expanding uterus and strecthing ligiaments. Although, if it is severe or accompanied by bleeding then you should always check with your midwife to be on the safe side, or even if you are concerned by the pain itself.
The ligiament pain will come and go throughout the pregnancy and you will probably get to know what certain discomforts are associated with. Once your baby gets up near your ribs, that can be painful. I had terrible rib pain for a good month to 6 weeks. Now I get back ache. LOL, I'm a bit of a moaner! I do love it really.