Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:54 pm
Post subject: i'm going to lose my baby....
my waters broke on monday....after much heartache, lots of trips to the hospital & lots of talks, we have basically been told that because i am not further along, my baby will not survive.
today i saw the consultant & he was very down to earth & straight with us. he did give us the option of going on with the pregnancy but there are lots of downsides....
1) I could get an infection
2) baby could get an infection resulting in him/her having to be taken out anyway or dying inside of me
3) i carry full term, i have the baby, which will either be stillborn or be alive but die shortly after.
basically its down to the lungs which will not be formed enough for the baby to survive, the can not offer steroid injections because it is too early & even if i kept on with the pregnancy & made it to 24 wks they will not inject as the lungs will still not form enough for the baby to survive outside my body.
the long & short of it, we have decided to terminate the pregnancy. i will go in on friday to take a tablet, then go back sunday for another & stay in until i give birth. this is ok as it means i can give birth & say goodbye properly & organise for a funeral/burial as in my eyes its till a life & baby & i want to treat him/her the same as i would do anybody else !!
i feel so numb at the moment, i was prepared for the worse anyway, i've cied nonstop since it happened on monday & now feel there is nothing left in me , i think i am just numb.
the hardest part is still to ome & i am not looking forward to saying goodbye, but i know that we have made the right decision in the long run xx
Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:53 am
Bella I'm so so sorry to hear you didn't get better news. What an awful decision to have to make. It will be a very hard goodbye, but do spend as much precious time with your baby as you want, take pictures, get his footprints, handprints, etc. Although it is hard, those memories are what will get you through the toughest of days.
I'm not sure if you've seen the post about help after losing a baby, but there may be a few things you may find helpful. I couldn't think straight at all and it would have helped to know some practical things at the time.
I will be thinking of you today, much love to you all. Please don't hesitate to pm me if you need anything at all. xx
After a horrible few years, life is good.