Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 5:27 pm
I'm not having much luck finding busy forums with VR discussions and as you all know I'm sure it always feels that not many people can relate to our situations!
My husband had his VR with Dr Harriss in May this year and his 3 month SA was really disheartening, 0.5 million but motility was 40% so not all bad I guess (hard to see it that way though!) Trying to stay positive - been trying since, I've done OPKs, using Conceive Plus, etc - nothing as yet. Planning to do another test at the start of next year and take it from there, IVF/ICSI I would imagine if nothing happens a year after the op (we were told it can take a year for things to improve..)
Not going crazy with health stuff, just taking Pregnacare Conception really, it's so stressful as it is and I found that when I got too obsessed with hubby not having baths, not drinking and eating etc...it just caused problems so I decided to leave him to it and stick to the vitamins. I'm thinking of trying fertility yoga - there are some interesting looking DVDs out there.
Does everyone else keep being told to 'relax and forget about it then it will happen'? (Grrrrr!!!)
I think for us VR girls it's about finding a balance between staying relaxed - as I'm sure stress does have some part - and also realising we can't quite leave it to its own devices completely if our other halves' SA wasn't good as you've got to help things along (vitamins, timing etc.)
Look forward to hearing from others in similar situations.
I'm 32 by the way, 3 step children but none of my own yet. Hoping for a new addition to our family for next Christmas Baby dust to everyone x
Posted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:15 am
I just wanted to say welcome to askbaby as I know not many people post in here anymore.
I'm not a vasectomy reversal Lady, i'm from over in sterilisation reversal but I know what you mean about striking a balance as on the one hand you want to be relaxed on the other hand you know that its not that same as TTC without any issues so you want to try and do anything you can to help things along, it is very easy to get obsessive though and for us all the timing things and planning everything took it's toll we didn't have sperm issues but I still got a little upset if my OH did anything I thought could potentially 'damage' his swimmers so I can understand where you're coming from.
Half a million might not sound great but that's 500,000 sperm and that's in each millilitre isn't it ?
That's a lot of swimmers still and if that was done in August there might well be more by now
I know it's hard when it doesn't happen right away, I was pretty devastated when it didn't happen the first month but when you think it can take healthy young fertile couples up to a year anyway then it's no wonder that for us reversal couples who tend to be a bit older as well it often takes a year or more.
Good luck xx
Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:33 pm
Thanks for the welcome DL05. And merry Christmas to all. Wishing you plenty of luck!!!
I agree it's important to look on the positive side. It only takes one after all...
I keep telling myself to relax and enjoy Christmas - so me and hubby ate and drank like there's no tomorrow lol, and I am trying to be more positive
I got offered a new job so that's perked me up a bit. I'll be in a much better position being pregnant when I'm working there. So good news and hopefully less stress..should help!
Enjoy New year and look forward to some more stories here xxx
Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 9:51 pm
Hi everyone, happy new year.
I've not posted on here for TIME but just want to wish you all luck. My hubby had VR with John Lemberger May 2011 and we found the experience was superb. Very good results since then too which is good. The only downside is since the op OH has suffered the occasional bad stomach ache which he says he didn't have before.
No baby news since then but to be honest so much has happened in our lives since then it really isn't an issue right now.
Have to say though with hindsight I wouldn't have bothered with the VR I would just have saved my two grand and put it towards IVF... but then hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it!
Enjoying the TTC ride!
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 8:13 pm
Post subject: Success
Hi haven't been on for a long time but just wanted to tell all you new ladies my story.My oh had the op in 2010 and it was a disaster he developed a haematoma which resulted in extreme bruising from stomach to knees and three months in bed. We were given low chance of it being a sucess.Anyway after alot of heartache before and after which most of you can relate to I found out I was expecting in 2011 and had our beautiful daughter in 2012 ..wouldn't change any of it and just makes our daughter a little miracle who was worth all the heartache. They do work even when the odds are stacked against you.Sorry for coming on when no longer ttc but thought a sucess story might be nice to hear.All the baby dust possible to you all xxxx
Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 3:17 pm
Great to see some replies
Littlesis it's lovely to hear a positive story even if you're no longer TTC - that's what keeps us going I'm sure I can say this for a lot of us ladies
To the lady who asked about NHS funding for VR - as far as I know they are not available on the NHS and the best thing to do would be to ask your GP - they will be able to make the necessary enquiries, and this way you will know for certain.
I'm getting anxious about hubby's re-testing, trying not to mention it to him too much and pressurise him...looks like it will be after January now.. I've said to him though that getting a new job isn't going to distract me from TTC one bit
Just don't want to feel like time is running out for us. Is anyone else feeling the same way..? Is it wrong to be so 'calculating' and thinking, for example, that I'd like to have my 2 children before I'm 35 - ideally, as egg-sharing is not available after that age...if we have to have IVF...Hubby hates this being mentioned but I find it difficult to agree with his 'laid back' 'it'll happen' attitude and keep thinking that he may not have been quite so laid back if he'd never had any kids and this was his first ever chance...Of course when I did say that - it was a mistake and ended in an argument with him saying he is being made to feel guilty for the choices he made before he met me...etc...and I knew what the situation was when we met.
But the truth is, nothing can prepare you for the reality of things being difficult and it's amazing how naive I was thinking that the results would be great and it would all happen straight away - thanks to the testimonials from clinics where the only stories you hear are the 'easy' ones...
Pointless as it is, but of course I wish he had never had the vasectomy! But I don't blame him...I wish he could understand that all I 'blame' him for is being somewhat laid back about things now...having said that I don't know how I would feel in his position and perhaps it's a coping mechanism, being defensive and accusing me of impatience!...
And I'm only now starting to realise that hindsight is best off mentioned as little as possible it can lead to so much negativity - and I'm the first to admit that I'm constantly struggling with it, at the moment.
At least I have now, for a change, vented at people who would probably understand my feelings Be strong and positive ladies - easier said than done!! xxx
Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2014 7:52 am
Thankyou, we have appt with gp tonight to see if he can refer / make enquiries. Even if we do have to go private for vas reversal they can test our fertility beforehand surely.. lovely to see a success story, Its on my mind alot lately and seeing a lot of prams ! It's like they are haunting me ! Ha ha
Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2014 1:47 pm
Laujb good luck with your appointment!!
You may find that you prefer to just go for SSR and then IVF/IUI...it's a hard decision to make as to be honest, I don't think you can ever predict from a pre-op test whether the op will work or what the real chances are. What we found is that while 'success rates' as they quote them, for my hubby's time since original VR, were 94%, they class an op as 'successful' regardless of how many swimmers there are in the post-op SA. And of course if there are hardly any swimmers, you may need to do SSR/IVF still and then wouldn't view the op as quite so successful!!
Having said that, on another forum a lady's husband had a VR, great results - however nothing after 2 years - had another SA - no sperm!! - ended up having to do SSR and she is now pregnant as a result of that. A happy ending but by no means straightforward (then again what is?!!)
I keep finding more and more that there is just simply no comparing and drawing parallels - although I definitely take comfort in the success stories against all odds! Your own story, whatever it may end up being, will always be unique and with lots of baby dust everyone's way, will have a happy ending - or rather a beginning!! xxx
Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:16 am
Hi really sorry to hear that the GP wasn't sympathetic. Just shows how much it can vary depending on who you see - and as this is already a very sensitive issue, sometimes having an unsympathetic doctor can really demoralise you. I had a bad experience in a family planning clinic too - basically a lecture on how my husband shouldn't have had the vasectomy, how permanent they are and how 'very unlikely' reversals are to work (just what you need to hear isn't it. Thankfully it didn't put me off further research...but it was upsetting all the same!) Also, my husband and I had different experiences in the same GP practice. Is there another GP you can see?
I haven't had any quotes yet as we are yet to get hubby's SA done, then will be getting a consultation and the (no doubt) scary quotes. But have a look on google for 'babycentre.co.uk icsi costs' may give you a bit of an idea though posts are a couple of years old. I tried to post a link but it wouldn't let me. A lot of difference in cost between different clinics it seems!
Have you thought about paying for a private consultation at a fertility clinic to go through potential options? It may be a good idea as it will give you a bit of an overview as to what could be available and also what further tests etc may be needed and costs. xx
Last edited by CrazyCat on Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:18 am; edited 1 time in total
Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:26 am
By the way, can relate to seeing more pregnant ladies and prams the more I try to get pregnant myself. It must be normal since I'm not alone! Lol It does take over your whole life doesn't it, in a way that only those going through the same can understand..
Posted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 2:00 pm
Can officially say now that my hubby is reversed!
He had it done Wednesday evening. Unfortunately he could only have one side reconnected as he had extensive damage from a hernia he had 7yrs ago and the surgeon who did the hernia op did the vasectomy that side through the hernia incision, which meant it was too high up to be reconnected. However, we've been told this shouldn't halve our chances as the side that was reconnected was perfect. Think hubby is enjoying his sofa rest and has minimal pain.
Obviously there's no 100% guarantee but been told that we're in good stead as hubby had good fertility before hand (he has 5!!), it's only 7yrs since his original op and I'm only 26.
So fingers crossed when he's out of recovery we get what we're hoping for. Trying to keep positive and not get wound up about it, just looking forward to what could happen. Hopefully we'll be lucky and able to conceive naturally.
Good luck to all of you still trying
Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2014 9:20 pm
Good luck Hannah - hope he recovers well! It should be in your favour that you are so young too. It must be a relief now it's done, I know I felt that way when my hubby had his op, although we didn't get the outcome we hoped for, still it feels better that he's back to his 'natural state'..
We've registered with a fertility clinic and will be looking at our options once he's had his SA. I'm just waiting to have an AMH test done and scan next week...trying not to think about it all too much!
Hope all you ladies are doing ok