family issues

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mpat
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Joined: 27 Nov 2008
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 7:32 pm 
Post subject: family issues
Hi folks-looking for some advice. My hubby and I have been married over 3 years and have a 2 yr old daughter and I am now 33 wk preg. We are very happy an dlooking forward to bumps arrival. 16mths ago however my OH family fell out with us. Long stry but immediately after the fall out we had nasty texts emailes etc. Things have calmed down a bit now but we have no contact with them. Every now and then they will try their luck and pretend like nothing has happened but we have had enough. They slagged me off big style and have had nothing to do with our daughter that whole time (they were never told by usthat they couldnt see her) Anyhow, our relationship with them is pretty much non existent and there is still a lot of tensions around. The problem we have is that we dont know what t do when bump arrives in terms of letting them know.
OH doesntw ant to call them as he doesnt want to spl them after all they have said/done. We dont want them starting their nonsense either as obv it meant to be a happy time for us. Any ideas on what we should do? We also feel that they have made no effort with our daughter that the arrival of a new baby should make no difference. If our daughter wasnt incentive enough to make up then a new baby shouldnt be either-we dont want them making a differenc between our children in the same way that they have made a differnec between their own kids. (OH is a middle child)
Hope this all makes sense!!!!
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Miriam84
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 9:01 pm 
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We've had some troubles with my family and more recently with OH's family. In my experience these things calm down over time (years rather then months) although things are never really the same afterwards.

We now have contact with both sets of parents again, and I'm glad because LO really loves Skyping with her grandmothers. (they all live in Holland) I always loved having my grandparents and couldn't imagine my childhood without them.

You could concider being civil with them again, even if it's just superficial, just for the kids. Then again, they sound worse then what has happened with our families...
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steph181
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Joined: 27 Jan 2009
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 9:04 pm 
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i think i know what you mean. my grandad on my dads side is a bit funny. he said i was rude nad ignorant as i hardly spoke to him the last time i saw him (which was the first time in years) and he is the old fashioned type that says you shouldnt speak unless spoken to. there are other things he has done.

but neither me or my dad have spoken to him in about 3 years now, but neither of us has told him that i have got a daughter. he does here things on the grapevine though as he found out my sister had got married, but chinese whispers it was the week after it actually happened.
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