bumping into ex's.... how do u find it?

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3rdtimeluckyyy
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 8:53 am 
Post subject: bumping into ex's.... how do u find it?
bit of a story but if u can stand it please read and help me from going mad lol

Me and OH thought we would go out last night to the theatre to cheer ourselves up after have a few hard weeks.

everything was going well and was loving having the time together and we thought we would go for a walk around the town centre under the christmas lights and see if we could get somewhere to get food and a nice walk back to the car together. was having a really good time and then.... his ex turns up Sad


(they were together 7 years and were engaged, he cheated on her and they split not to long after we got together and have been together a year and a half, have brought a house together and now im pregnant with his child)

anyway were going down this street, OH pretending he hasnt noticed her outside a bar and then they keep eye contact and smile at each other at the same time oh starts walking ahead. if hes done this without realising or did it on purpose because he doesnt want her to see him with me i dont know. just feel like such a plum!

i walk past and then she starts laughing, he completly pretends he didnt see her or that anything had just happened and i just tell him im not stupid and neither is he. I pretended it didn't bother me and that i dont care and i could tell there was something on his mind.. wheather it was her or just the strangness of what happened im not sure.

Shes really attractive and thin and im completely the opposite. she desnt know im pregnant so just look like im getting fat lol

should i just ignore it all? x
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Last edited by 3rdtimeluckyyy on Sat Nov 05, 2011 7:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
xxOliverAndMaxsMummy
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 6:39 pm 
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Hi

You definitely need to have a chat with your man - I can totally understand that you may be insecure due to the way your relationship started and tbh I'm not sure that I could trust him but that is just my opinion.

It may have been perfectly innocent and he was just being friendly.

Terri xx
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3rdtimeluckyyy
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 6:45 pm 
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well thing is we met by the fact were both musicians but when he was with her he cheated on her and thats why they split though he says he didnt have any feeling for her anymore anyway just didnt know how to leave.... (still dont think its right but hey)

I dont think he walked ahead slightly on purpose i think he did it without meaning to he still held my hand but just could tell he was feeling tense if that makes sense.

they have no contact and he says he doesnt have any feeling for her or gives two ****'s about her anymore etc which i think i believe and i do trust him.

i gets its my insecurity more than anything????

I love him to pieces and i know if i bring it up hes gonna be in a mard with me out it and i just dont want that... I love him stupidly but he knows i find it hard to trust people xx
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LauraG
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 12:08 pm 
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i imagine its difficult bumping into exes so he probably didnt walk ahead on purpose or anything just did it without thinking as y wud u want to bump into ur ex? he probs wanting to get passes asap. and theyve had history together they know each other so i dont think a smile is a problem although i can totally understand y u feel insecure.
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3rdtimeluckyyy
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 1:51 pm 
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just annoys me as shes always been a problem. i get uncomfortable about her because he was lied to me about her before and al though as far as i know they have no contact anymore it plays on my mind.
he was with her for 7 years and they were engaged.... i find what he tells me now and in the past regarding them hard to believe and because they have such history makes me feel a little like i have a lot to live up too... hope that makes sense

i was majorly screwed over my by ex and think thats why i like and need complete truth in this relationship and through my own insecurities dont always feel like i get that xx
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LauraG
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:02 pm 
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i totally understand y ur feeling like this 7 years is a long time but u have to see urs and his relationship as something totally seperate. and even if what hes telling u about their relationship isnt true then is it really a probelm as this is in the past urs and his is a new relationship and shouldnt be compared to any other relationships.
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3rdtimeluckyyy
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:05 pm 
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i know but cant help feeling like i have to live up to their relationship in some way.
we have been together 2 years come march and we own a house together and a planned baby on the way they never did any of this...

guess its just me being an insecure muppet as always. i had a lot of problems with my ex and how he treated me ad guess i worry this relationship will end up biting me in the arse aswel at somepoint x
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LauraG
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:18 pm 
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he is obviously committed to you as you have baby on the way and you have your own house together.

and just remeber not all men are the same. and even tho ur oh did wrong in his past realtionship dusnt mean he will now ppl can change.
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3rdtimeluckyyy
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:20 pm 
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i know but ive never found they change for the better... guess i just have to trust him and if it comes to bite me in the bum at some point then it does.

guess im just scared ill end up getting hurt
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LauraG
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:39 pm 
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u have every rite to be scared ur pregnant and bringing a new life into the world.

my dh had a drug addiction and had bad mental health problems due to it and he cheated on me.

4 years later and i can defintly say hes a changed man hes off drugs and is dealing with his mental health problems.
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3rdtimeluckyyy
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:08 pm 
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a massive well done to your hubby hun. no wonder your so proud of him Smile

From my own exprience men dont change obviously your proving me wrong with what youve just said lol but personally ive never been shown it.

one insecure 21 year old !!!! Smile haha but for good reason. x
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LauraG
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:30 pm 
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It cud of just kept happening but was a mistake and wont happen again. Im sure ur oh wudnt make the same mistake twice nt wen he has so much to loose.
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3rdtimeluckyyy
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:45 pm 
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i hope not...

thank you from one laura to another Smile xxx
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LauraG
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 5:38 pm 
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ur welcome:)
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