Young and single and scared

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Kitch
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:48 pm 
Post subject: Young and single and scared
i am 19 years old and am almost 14 weeks pregnant. i am single as the father now wants nothing to do with me. i am too scared 2 tell my family and i dont know what to do. what is the best way 2 say to my parents tht i am pregnant and the father doeasn't want anything to do with me? am so scared that i mite get thrown out or disowned.
asfletcher
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:22 pm 
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aww no hun, sorry to hear that. why not talk to ur mum on her own at first. it is hard i know, i was scared to tell my mum i was pregnant for the 3rd time and im with the same man and we have bought a place together so everyone must worry. im sure they wont throw u out if u tell them. there are housing options out there if ur homeless so try not to panick even though its easier said than done.
mylillamb
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 11:31 pm 
Post subject: xx
hiya imjust turned 18 and 20 week pregnant i text my mum cause i was so scared and she dint belive me lol. im not with the babys dad. god im so scared when the baby is borni worry if im ganna be able to afford any thing even nappys. of course i would go without everything for the baby but i hope imnot 2 poor. xx
gingin
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:16 am 
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i am very sad to hear that you young girls are in this situation, there is nothing anyone is going to say or do to change your circumstances and you may be surprised how your parents will react esp after the initial shock passes ! but they are your parents and they care for you, as to the young men who got you pregnant, it takes 2 to tango as they say and whether they like it or not they now have a legal obligation to you as the father. so you have to try to be as positive as you can be, look forward dont look back. If its any consolation a friend of mine (we are in our 30's) got married had the big party etc fell pregnant everyone over the moon at 7mths father legged it ! it was tough but she got through, father is still a bumwipe but Ella has grown up with mum and i doubt he will ever be loved by Ella the way she loves her mum ! there are also plenty of organisations set up to help young girls like you - do some homework on the internet - but take responsibility, am sure you wont expect everything just to be given to you - keep smiling and you will be surprised how generous people can be XX
dollychops2
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 9:04 am 
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Im sure they will be fine honey, pluck up the courage and tell your mum, the longer you leave it the harder it will be. x

Hope your ok, Im here if you want a chat Wink xx
Bazzle
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 9:39 am 
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Hi Kitch,
I really do feel for you I am in the same situation, 13 weeks and on my own with very little chance that the father is going to live up to his responsibilities.
I had to tell my Mum and was totally terrified that she would do all the things that you are worried about...and im 28!! I was more worried about her reaction then anything else, and the reason that we care so much about what our parents think is beacuse we respect and love them and we dont want to disappoint them.
I obviously dont know you or your parents and they may be diasppointed and even a bit mad at you at first but they will come round - this baby will be their grandchild. Imagine if this was your child in 19 years time saying this to you...would you turn your back?
In answer to your question about the best way to tell them there is no 'best' way, I wasnt certain that I was pregnant and told my Mum I was 'late' and too scared to do the test on my own and asked if she would do it with me. It gave her a chance to think about the 'what if' scenario and also made her involved from the beginning and now she is really excited about her expected grandchild!!
Anyway, I know it is hard but as Gingin says, do your homework - research the internet about any entitlements you will get as a single Mum, maybe go to the Citizen Advice for more info and prove to your parents that even though you will be on your own you can do this and just need their support -Good Luck sweetie xxx
mylillamb
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:08 pm 
Post subject: xx
i worry about money and begin a single mum so young but i no i have all my family and friens. i dont want to be asking for money all the time i want to do this alone and wen the baby is born and after my mertinity leave im ganna do nvqs so i havea better job and money to suport my baby. all i can do is ma best and im def ganna do my best and better xx
Kitch
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 12:44 pm 
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thnku 4 all ur advice,i think im goin 2 ask my mum 2 cum out 4 a day with me and have sum lunch and tell her then. i am jus so worried because my sister had her baby 5 yrs ago wen she ws 17 and i dnt wnt my parents thinkin "where have i gone wrong?" because i no it isnt their fault or ne1 else's but my own and the fathers. thnku agen so much.
and i wish u luck with ur children Smile
x
KimWilson
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:49 pm 
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Heya Smile

Im Very Much In The Same Postition, Im 16 & Think I May Be Pregnant Im Just Scared To Take The Test, I Know For A Fact The Dad Will Not Want To Be Involved Sad. My Parents Are The Kind Of Parents Who Will Disown Me Or Through Me Out. My Sister Had Her Baby At 17 & They Were Happy For Her But I Feel Like I Will Have Let Them Down. So Dont Worry This Happens To Lots Of People Your Mum Needs To Understand.

x
gingin
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 1:41 pm 
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well i hate to say it but if they were in any way disappointed with your sister then they would have gone out of their way to ensure you didnt repeat history - they cant chuck you out - and i doubt they would - there are lots of options open to you so its best to talk honestly about everything right from the start - honesty is the best policy - speak to someone and get advice from professionals
kailadoug
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:09 pm 
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i feel for you i really do, im a little older than you, but im pregnant as the result of a one night stand, something im not proud of at all. luckily myparents were very supportive when i told them and my boyfriend of just under 2 months is the same (we were friends first so that prob helps) im still talking to the father and hes going to help out as much as he can, but he has a girlfriend and a very busy lifestyle so to speak
Vilmita
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:49 pm 
Post subject: i'm in the same situation
Hey don't be scared. i'm 19 as well and the father doesn't want to be apart of it and wanted me to have an abortion. i wouldnt do that so i decied to keep it because its the right thing to do. As for the parents i was scared that they would hate me or disown me but they didnt they took it very well cause i'm their daughter. A baby is a wonderful thing that will bring great things to you.
startinmyfamily
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Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 8:28 pm 
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hey hunni i have a very bad relationship with my mum i am a wee bit older and have different situations but my mum was so ggod when i told her she has opened up a baby bank account and everythig.
i though she would disown me too i was so surprised.
your parents will worry and maybe be upset but i amsure they will stand by you and care for you they wouldnt let their baby suffer
take care and if you need to talk im here
ill even give you my email and number if you want
x
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