2.5yr old, need to get rid of dummy!

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fuzzyferret
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:27 am 
Post subject: 2.5yr old, need to get rid of dummy!
Hi, wondered if any one has any advice or opinions. My DD is 2.5yr old, 3 on 8th June. She has had a dummy since around a week old much to my dismay, I didn't want her to have one, but DH gave it to her when she wouldn't settle one night it worked a treat then that was it, the rest is history. Now I am really hating it! A couple of months back we tried to 'wean' her off it, she did great in the day time without it & we only gave it when she went to bed. But I don't know what happened, just lately she is driving me crazy with it - wants it all the time, cries & whinges & moans til she gets it, or just demands 'I WANT my dummy!' 'WHERE IS MY DUMMY!' all the bleedin time til she gets her way. Which is especially bad if we are out in public, she either looks like a baby with a dummy in when she should be a big grown up 2.5yr old, or she plays up whinging moaning crying like a baby if she doesnt have it which then makes me think i should just give it her to avoid joe public looking at us! There are times when she doesn't have it, like when she goes to creche for 4 hrs on mondays & fridays, or other playgroups, and she can go for a couple of hours without it as long as she is busy. But when we are at home, she is not happy without it. Then when she has got it, she constantly talks with it in her mouth which also drives me crazy it sounds awful! We both always say to her do NOT talk with that in your mouth... said enough times she might spit it out then continue what she is saying. Last year, I said she wouldn't have it long past her 2nd birthday. This year I am positive I do not want her to have it once she has turned 3! How can I prepare her (and us!) for this, any tips? Thanks.
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mummy2ollie
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:00 am 
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I know it sounds harsh babes but I think the only way to do it is throw them away and let her do it or send them to the dummy fairy, u need to just do it like ripping off a plaster! I took my sons away at 20 months and was shocked at how good it went although a couple of upsets. And I explained to hi
What was happening hope this helps x
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fuzzyferret
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:26 am 
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yes you are right! I should just do it, and put up with the the earache & tantrums & screaming. Oh it sounds like such fun! Laughing Will have to time it right with DH's shifts, do it when he will not be home at bed time, cos there is no way that he will put up with her screaming for so long, he'd just give in straight away, worse than me!
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DL05
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 12:14 pm 
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Same advice here as well Laughing in the bin seems to be the only way, maybe get her to do it in exchange for a toy or game she really wants Question I waited a bit longer with my first (and probably let him have it too much as well )and same as you hated seeing him trying to talk with it in his mouth Rolling Eyes , one day i had enough took him to the shop and said pick a toy and we'll swop it for the dummy because you're a big boy now and only babies have dummies , he got a car, I got the dummy, dummy went in the bin and he never even asked for it again Shocked Laughing and he was less than 2 then , she might surprise you and not be bothered Smile Good luck xxx
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 3:19 pm 
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Hi Fuzzyferret,

We have just been in the same situation. Our son is just over 2 and a half years old.

Actually we initially did this when he turned 2. He stopped using his dummy at nursery, so just bit the bullet and stopped completely at home. It was so much easier than I thought it would be. We still had dummies, just in case, which he did use from time to time but that was more to make our life easier at the time.

Then a few months later, we went thru a terrible time with his sleeping, so basically he went back to using it quite a bit (though never at nursery). We went to New Zealand last October, so I didn't really want to try and attempt stopping it again then so I just used the excuse, I'll do it after we come back from our holiday.

So got to end of 2011 and then a week into January, I decided I was going to get rid of those blinkin dummies. So for about a week, I just talked to our son about how he is a big boy now and only babies need dummies and he isn't a baby. I also said you and your friends don't have a dummy at nursery, so you don't need one at home. I repeated this many times a day for about a week (think I was partly procrastinating as well) and I did buy him a toy when the time came.

I think the build up for parents tends to be much worst than the actual event. So just over two weeks ago, on a Friday night (to give me the weekend to succeed), our son, took the dummies and threw them in the bin. No phasing it out, just going cold turkey. He did have a good cry that night (and little cries the next two nights) but it was much much easier than I thought it would be. He has never asked for it again and he has said to me a few times "I'm a big boy, babies have dummies" Smile

I'm sure it won't be as bad as the build-up to it. Let your LO get rid of the dummy, explain why over and over again, maybe get a little toy as a reward and just stick to it.

Good luck.

xTx
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abbie29
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 6:38 pm 
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Isobel stopped hers of her own accord when she was about 9 months which is no consolation or help, I know, but the only advice I have which is passed on from a friend is to chuck all the dummies out so you can't give in and give her one. Make it a hunt to track them all down, maybe try the dummy fairy but put them in the bin!

Good luck!!
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fuzzyferret
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:40 am 
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Thanks for the replies ladies. Actually xTEGx you have made me think, maybe I should wait til after our journey to UK & back, it might help her sleep on the plane. But that's just another excuse to make things easier on myself isn't it!
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xTEGx
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:09 am 
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Hi again,

It may be an excuse but it's a valid excuse. I used the same excuse when we flew back to New Zealand. I didn't feel guilty either. If it was going to help our son, then so be it. Unfortunately for us, he started sleeping terribly just a couple weeks before we flew back to NZ, so giving him the dummy again and going on our holiday was pretty much at the same time, so there was no way, I was going to try and stop the dummy again, just as we're about to get on the plane....

You do have time (before your trip) to get rid of the dummy if you want to try now. Maybe do it now and I'm pretty sure she won't be giving it another thought in a weeks time. But, this is just me, I'd still have a dummy or two spare (out of sight) on the plane back to the UK. Ok, not the right way to be thinking but it is a 24 hour plus journey after all.

Good luck whatever you do.

Tania. x
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dellabobella
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:09 am 
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God I'd let her keep it on a plane too.. life is hard enough with kids when you're travelling. I'd just be harsh and take it off her afterwards as my sister is going through something like this now with her FIVE year old who still has a dummy in her mouth constantly and drinks out of a bottle. I just wouldn't have it personally but she feels bad because she still wants it. Good luck Smile
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Englishrose80
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:23 pm 
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Hi Fuzzyferret, just wondering how you and your daughter have got on without the dummy. At the moment im in the same boat, my daughter is nearly 2.5 and is obsessed with her dummy. I've tried to get rid of it but she screamed nonstop for 3 hours and we gave in, she was a total nightmare and when we mention the dummy fairy she goes crazy. I really want to get rid of the dummy but i know it will be a battle. Any tips would be great because im dreading it, she is a very bossy and spirited little girl who knows her own mind so she wont give up easily. I tried only giving the dummy to her at nighttime but she told me she wanted to go to bed every 5 minutes. Also if i dont lock the stairgate then she will go to her room and get into her bed with her dummy. Part of the problem is me and i need to be strong about getting rid of it but she is in love with her dummy, it is her security and even mentioning getting rid of it starts her crying and screaming.
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steph181
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 8:52 pm 
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Englishrose80 wrote:
Hi Fuzzyferret, just wondering how you and your daughter have got on without the dummy. At the moment im in the same boat, my daughter is nearly 2.5 and is obsessed with her dummy. I've tried to get rid of it but she screamed nonstop for 3 hours and we gave in, she was a total nightmare and when we mention the dummy fairy she goes crazy. I really want to get rid of the dummy but i know it will be a battle. Any tips would be great because im dreading it, she is a very bossy and spirited little girl who knows her own mind so she wont give up easily. I tried only giving the dummy to her at nighttime but she told me she wanted to go to bed every 5 minutes. Also if i dont lock the stairgate then she will go to her room and get into her bed with her dummy. Part of the problem is me and i need to be strong about getting rid of it but she is in love with her dummy, it is her security and even mentioning getting rid of it starts her crying and screaming.


I think you need to just be tough with her. i know someone whose daughter still had a dummy (even in the day) at nearly 4, as she was too soft with her, and oftne said 'it wasnt the right time'

start with daytime, take it away and put it in a cupboard out of sight, and if she asks for it distract her with something else. if she has a tantrum treat it the same as any other tantrum.

when i took my daughters dummy away at 14 months (only had it at night since about 9 months) i just threw them in the bin, and had a few nights of crying, but it got shorter each night.
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sweetpea24
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:25 pm 
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I have been wanting to get rid of DS dummy for ages now... But never felt brave enough, easy for me to say, oh but he is feeling sick right now, new creche, not good idea.. Smile
But this week he got another skin infection - worst is around his mouth as he drools alot when teething and with the dummy in at night time it just makes it worse..
So I had no choice but to get rid of it on Tuesday. He sleeps with his dummy and a little comfort blanket. So what I did was have him say goodbye to the dummy (I showed him his face in the mirror (he knew he had a rash around his mouth) and told him his dummy was making it worse so it had to go - probably didn't understand a word, but it made me feel better), he gave the dummy a kiss threw it in the bin.
I then gave him 2 more blankets and made a big deal out of him now having THREE blankets instead of just one.
Bedtime came with a few tears. He woke up once and cried for his dummy for about 2min and that was IT! Last night (2nd night without dummy) he actually slept through from 19:30 to 6am this morning!
I'm sure the dummy kept him awake at night, cos his nose is always stuffy and sucking on it made that he couldn't breath nicely.
Hoping for the same result tonight! Smile
xxx
PS I couldn't believe how easy it was to get rid of. Smile
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jennaxhx
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 10:54 pm 
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Hi hun i am going through the exact same just now. I tried weaning the boys off their dummies about 6 months ago, only got them at nap and bedtimes. Now somehow we're back to them having them all day as they are demanding their dummies, whinging and tantrums til they get it. They also talk with them in no matter how much i say dont talk with it in, and i do my best to avoid them going out in public with them but like you say, sometimes you feel like you'd rather they look like a big baby than cause a massive scene!

I know its going to take just a definitive NO from me and to totally get rid of them but i dunno about you but the thought terrifies me. Its like the dummies have become my comfort as well as theirs as i know if all else fails the dummy saves the day Embarassed
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sweetpea24
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Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 10:07 am 
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Besides crying for his dummy the first night for about 2 minutes, DS has had NO problem of his dummy being gone - even though he sees his sister with hers all the time.
I say go for it! Smile
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:10 pm 
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One of my neighbours, whose child was having her dummy all day and night aged 3, used to carry one in each hand too for comfort, used the dummy fairy at Christmas. The dummys were hung on the Christmas tree and she was told the dummy fairy would bring her presents in exchange. Come Christmas morning she was so excited she forgot about her dummies during the day - I imagine it was a bit painful in the nights but for a commited dummy user they got her off them. They also told her the dummy fairy was taking the dummies to new babies who needed them - that may have made her feel a bit better!
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