Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 8:28 pm
Post subject: Single mum and problem toddler!
Hello girlies, in previous example to my other post, Bella has shocked both me and my mum.
My sister aparently was quite a handful, and she knows good and bad kids, and she has even turned around to me and told me that she's shocked that i haven't cracked with Bella, but to me this is the norm as Bella has granted gotten alot worse recently, but shes always been really naughty.. but it's reached extreams to the point when she is hitting everyone, spitting, and wrecking house hold items including our furniture!!! she's only 16 months and the word "no" has been established since day 1 yet up untill now it's actually been aknowleged but is seems to not exist anymore!.
I'm pulling my hair out and crying because i don't know what to do and tbh i'm worried that it's my fault :/.
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 8:00 am
Have you ever tried, super nanny's naughty corner/chair technique , one warning then onto the naughty chair you tell them why they're going there, I think it's one minute per year of age and then you ask them to say sorry and give you a hug, she might be a little young for some of it but I have seen her use it with toddlers successfully. The other thing I'd try is stepping in straight away the second she does something you don't like, for a few days it might seem like she's constantly in trouble but if you're consistant with her and she always gets the same punishment ( I think thats were the naughty step/chair is good) then she will soon realise that she can't get away with things . I know when they play up a lot it can be tempting sometimes to let certain things go and not say anything but if you are very strict at first about everything then it will set boundaries, which toddlers actually like as they love routine and to know where they stand at that age (thats why they like to watch the same programme/dvd over and over even though it drives us nuts as they like to know whats coming next ) I think you live with your Mum so you need to establish rules you both stick to so Bella can't play you off against each other as toddlers learn to do that very quickly. I'd also (if she has any) cut out anything with sugar, colourings and artificial flavours in as some kids are very sensitive to those (my son had a school christmas dinner yesterday with a snowman thing on it with coloured icing and he was manic all night , I knew as soon as I picked him up he'd had something cos he was so hyper )and if she is then just doing that will probably make a difference . I don't think there's any such thing as bad kids (not at her age anyway) just confused kids who don't know whats expected of them and of course some kids are more will full than others , just saying no but not giving her consequences at this age isn't enough ,if you say no to a baby then just the tone of your voice is usually enough to stop them but with a toddler they quickly learn that nothing happens if she does it anyway so theres no incentive for her not to do it so she carries on it makes sense to a toddler :)If she has to take time out from playing or just being part of whats happening every time she's naughty then i'm sure she'll soon learn it's better to behave FX (I have tried this with mine and it's always worked eventually but be prepared for a lot of resistance at first and practise your firm voice it's amazing what you can do just with tone of voice once she knows you're serious ) Good luck xx