Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 11:41 am
Post subject: 3 month old dd scared of everything!
My 3 month old dd, who is a very happy and smiley baby usually, has recently shown some fear when certain things happen. I first noticed it when we were dropping her off at her Granny's for a visit. This was not the first time but she definitely doesn't go anywhere without me very often. I went out to the car to get her bag, and when I came inside, she was wailing, obviously fearful that I had left her! She hardly ever cries so this was very unusual. I picked her up and soothed her until she calmed down and then I slowly transitioned her back to granny's arms. Then, a short while later, we were visiting some friends. A girlfriend of mine, Katie, got close to my dd while she was still in the car seat and started talking baby talk to her (kinda loud though). My dd is used to my soft voice I guess and her bottom lip started trembling and she burst into tears! Another time, I had her in her bouncy seat while I was making tea. The pitcher I use calls for ice about half way up the pitcher. So I went to the freezer door and pressed the automatic ice button. As the ice clanged on the bottom of the pitcher, she again burst into years! Then once my mom was holding her, and my mom yawned kinda loudly, and again, she burst into tears! Even once, I got out of the shower and put my dd on the changing table to change her diaper. My hair was wet and in my face, and I guess she didn't recognize me for a second and again, burst into tears until I calmed her with my voice and picked hey up. Now, I have to take into consideration, she's with me ALL the time, so maybe I'm making her too dependent on me and the way I do things? But I read it's so important to pick them up when they cry and at this age, you can't spoil her, so I've tried to be very tending to her needs so that she'll be secure in the fact that Mommy will always be there for her. But am I overdoing it? How do I let her know she doesn't have to be afraid if it's different from the way Mommy does it? I know babies get scared of loud noise more easily than adults, but she seems to scare so easily that I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong. I just want her to be happy and feel secure, which I thought coddling her would make that happen, but maybe I'm doing too much? Should I let her go to a sitter once a week or something so she learns other ways of interaction? Keep in mind that she is only 3 months old. But I thought separation anxiety usually happened later? Very confused, any advice would be appreciated!
Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 7:51 am
It doesn't sound like seperation anxiety to me, just that she's easily startled, maybe its just normally so quiet at home with just the two of you ?
As she gets older and gets out and about more and experiences new things i'm sure she'll grow out of it
In the meantime I would just try not to make things too quiet around her at home so she gets used to more noises and as long as you comfort her when she cries she'll be fine, small babies forget things as soon as they've happened xx
Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 2:34 pm
Thanks for replying! I was beginning to think no one knew the answer! Lol...i definitely comfort her when these things happen, as I can't stand to see her so terrified. I think it may be that I talk to her in a soft, baby voice so much, that she's just getting to used to it. And yeah, our home is pretty quiet most of the time. I'm not a big TV person and even when I was pregnant, it stayed pretty quiet around here. I've been trying to take her with me more often when I go do things like shop, visit with friends, etc.. But sometimes, especially since I'm a stay-at-home mom right now, I do try to do things by myself, just with adults. I feel bad when I leave her because I know she's so used to being with me, but I feel like she needs to experience other people's way of doing things too. Anyway, thanks for the response! Hopefully you're right and she'll grow out of it, because it's so sad to see her get so scared! Thanks again!
Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 8:18 pm
I agree that maybe she just needs to get used to lots of different noises, maybe even though you don't watch it leaving the tv on for a bit could help for background noise. Do you have any baby groups nearby that would have lots of noises for her to get used to. At least you know your doing a good job as she obviously loves her mummy! Poor ollie has no chance of peace and quiet as he has a terror of a big brother running around like a crazy loon!
Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 1:58 pm
Yes I have been trying to leave the TV on for some background noise. I don't know of any baby groups but I could check around. I've just been taking her shopping with me more and for walks with me and stuff like that. But the neighbor's dog's bark even scares her. Mostly it's loud noises and people she doesn't know that have stronger and/or louder voices that seem to trigger her fear the most. I guess I'll keep trying to slowly expose her to new things and hopefully she'll grow out of it. Thanks again for the advice!