Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 8:53 pm
Post subject: Bed wetting on purpose
My nearly three year old has been dry in the day for 10 weeks and at night too for about 4 weeks.
We also have a 12 week old son and i think this could be part of the reason. But also could be to do with tiredness. Also, her dad has needed to be away for work a few times recently.
In the last week or so she has gotten into the habit of wetting her bed. I know it is on purpose because she laughs about it and seems very pleased with herself. On the one occasion that she wet her bed genuinely accidentally, she was quite upset about it so i know it is different now. And also now she is obv standing up to do as only her knickers and bed wet, nighty not wet.
We did tell her off for it but that seemed to increase the behavbiour so the other day I just ignored it, took her back to bed, changed covers in silence and said goodnight. This seemed to surprise her and there were no further incidences that day.
But then the next night I was very tired from being up with baby night before and I reacted saying 'oh sophia' before i thought so this was met with a smile and we have had further bed wettings since.
Today I gave her a nap in the day (first proper nap she ahs had in weeks) and she is still awake now and has wet bed twice. But befor ethis had several stalling trips down to use the potty (she does use toilet but insisted on potty today, more stalling i feel). By ht thrid time down and a good ten minutes sat on potty with nothing happening sent her back up to bed talking to her firmly and exapling she did not need a wee ( both frustrated at this point and partner got annoyed with her and carried her back up in tears). I left a potty in her room and said if she did need a wee she had the potty there. And as i say since then two bed wettings, first time i went up and changed bed with no fuss or talking and second time partner did same (bu then when he asked her to get back into bed was back chatted so he asked her firmly to get back into bed then firmly put her back in bed when laughed at)
Just not sure how to tackle. Should we just continue ignoring and changing and trying hard not to react? Or should we get her to take a part in the changin of the bed so there is a positive (not sure if right word)but unattractive consequence to the wetting without making her feel bad for doing it (however frustrated we feel by the behaviour) ?
Also in day she has been very mummy orientated and has been quite jealous of her brother so really think this is a big part of the prob. We have dealt with this by making sure she has just me and her and just her and dad time and also by doing nice things altogether when josh is up. So think have tackled that right but i also know she picks up on the guilt I/we feel at times for not being able to spend as much time with her as she likes but at the same time, we have two children now and she needs to know that mummy and daddy have to share their time between the two of them now. We do also let her know how much we love heretc so hopefully this all helps but who knows?
Any feedback or further suggestions very much appreciated. Apologies for the essay. But def could do with some advice.